Everyone knows that they should not make important decisions while in an intense emotional state. But when you’re going through a divorce and everything is so emotional, what are you supposed to do? How do you control your emotions? You can’t refuse to make any decisions until your divorce is final!

Although you can’t flip a switch on and off your emotions at will, there are ways you can prevent your emotions from causing your divorce.

Related: 12 Things Passive-Aggressive People Do — But Don’t Realize

Here are 5 tips on how to control your emotions to help you do just that.

1. Discover your emotional triggers.

What distinguishes you? What does your ex say or do that turns you from a normal person into a screaming maniac in ten seconds or less? These things are your emotional triggers.

Of course, when you’re going through something as emotional as a divorce, it’s easy to get upset by everything your spouse does. If this is where you are now, that’s actually okay. Just admit it.

Sweeping your feelings aside, or pretending they don’t exist, will only cause them to show up in other ways.

Suddenly, you find yourself in a fight with your spouse over a piece of furniture, or something else that doesn’t really matter. She will think you are arguing about furniture. you are not.

2. Find a healthy outlet for your feelings.

After you know what your feelings are, the next thing you need to do is find a way to express them that doesn’t destroy you, hurt your children, or turn your divorce into the War of the Roses. Frankly, if you’re hurt as badly as a pogo stick with a 300-pound man standing on it, you can’t expect to waltz through your divorce with the emotional composure of the Dalai Lama.

One of the best emotional releases is exercise. No matter how busy you are, find time to spend an hour a day doing any form of exercise that makes you feel good.

Kickboxing, martial arts, and any type of strenuous cardio will help you get rid of your aggression. Yoga, tai chi and other meditative exercises will balance you.

Going to therapy is also a wise idea right now. A good therapist can help you understand what you’re going through. He will be there to listen to you, and to guide you through the emotional rollercoaster of divorce.

3. Don’t let your emotions lead you.

I know. This is the hard thing. But understanding your internal emotional landscape is useless unless you can also learn how to navigate through it and emerge safely on the other side. To do this, you must learn to control your emotions, and not let your emotions control you.

Now, before you go any further, please note that I did not say: Don’t feel your feelings. Of course you will feel them! But the key is not to act on them. When it comes to divorce, you have to follow your head much more than you follow your heart.

how do you do that? First, try not to make decisions rashly. Give yourself time to think before you act – and before you call your lawyer! Also: breathe!

When you feel angry, sad, or emotional, stop what you are doing and take ten deep breaths. Doing this will automatically lower your heart rate and restore your perspective.

4. Control your environment.

What’s outside you is as important as what’s inside you. Research has shown that if you are stuck in traffic, upset or angry, it will affect the decisions you make and your interactions with others.

It doesn’t matter what made you angry or frustrated. Simply experiencing those feelings affects your mood and actions.

Knowing that things outside of yourself can greatly influence the way you think, act, and feel is vital when you are trying to deal with your spouse or negotiate a settlement in your case. This helps you understand that where conversations take place is just as important as what those conversations are about.

If you know you’re going to talk to your spouse, and especially if you know you’re going to try to negotiate something important with your spouse, make sure you have that conversation in an emotionally neutral environment.

Try to make sure you get good rest.

Whatever you do, don’t drive yourself crazy before your meeting by imagining how bad things will be!

5. Stop trying to control your wife.

If you were not able to control your spouse throughout the years of marriage, what makes you think that you will control your spouse when you get divorced? You can not. The more you try to control your spouse, the longer, uglier, and more expensive your divorce will become.

However, not trying to control your spouse is difficult because “control” wears many masks. You may think you are doing something for the good of your children, when in reality, you are just trying to maintain control over your spouse.

For example, if your husband wants to take the kids to a concert with his new love, and you object because the kids are coming home two hours later than the court order says (on a non-school night!) is your objection really about what’s best for the kids? truly?

Keeping your emotions from driving your divorce is really difficult. Unless you’re a robot, you won’t succeed all the time.