Have you escaped a toxic relationship and are wondering if it’s time to start dating again?

Getting out of a toxic relationship is one of the hardest things you’ll ever have to do. It can leave you devastated and exhausted.

Dating after a toxic relationship can be complicated.

The last thing you want to do is get into a relationship with someone else – someone who might hurt you again.

However, taking a risk and reentering the dating world is a brave risk and an important part of the healing process.

Love and happiness are the goals, and you are the only one who can reach that goal. But only when you are ready.

So, how do you know when you’re ready?

Related: The 10-Step, Never-Look-Back Plan To Finally Quit Your Toxic Relationship

Here are 5 ways to finally be ready to start dating after a toxic relationship.

1. You are no longer obsessed with your ex.

I don’t mean to shut you down before we get started here. I think you are still thinking about your ex, especially since you are thinking about getting back there.

The thought of taking a risk, putting yourself out there again, and starting over will naturally make you think about the relative safety of your ex.

I say “relative” – your relationship has never been secure, has it?

It is essential that if you are ready to date again after a toxic relationship, you let go of your ex and the “security” that this relationship provides you.

It’s okay to keep thinking about it, to some extent. However, the obsession I felt towards them had to subside.

Why? Because if you are still obsessed with your ex when you start meeting new people, you will only compare them to your partner and close yourself off immediately.

You will likely only remember the good parts of your toxic relationship and will look for them in someone new.

This is a recipe for disaster because if you find someone like your ex, it will only lead to repeating history.

So, make sure you’ve left your ex before you dip your toe back into the dating pool.

2. You know what went wrong.

An essential part of starting to date after getting out of a toxic relationship is understanding what happened that made your relationship toxic.

After finally escaping a toxic relationship, one of my clients couldn’t let go of the belief that everything wrong in the relationship was her fault.

She believed that if she had been more understanding, more sexual, and more supportive, her relationship would have blossomed.

The truth is that the toxicity was on her and her partner.

He was in control, and she let him control her. He was rough in bed and I shut down. He needed her unconditional support, and when he felt she wasn’t giving him enough, he abused her.

After working with me, she realized that the toxicity was not her fault, but rather a combination of his abuse and her allowing the abuse to continue.

Knowing that she was part of what happened but that it wasn’t all her fault made her more willing to let someone else into her life.

She realized that she could change her behaviors and reactions and that it might save any future relationship from becoming toxic.

3. Feel good about yourself.

When you get out of toxic relationships, you often feel bad about yourself.

Days, weeks, or years of abuse and exploitation have led you to believe that you are ugly, unlovable, and worthless.

The type of person who believes these things about themselves will only attract other people who feel bad about themselves.

If you suffer from low self-esteem, you must put in the work you need to do to feel better about yourself.

Spend time with people who love you, do the things you’ve always wanted to do, don’t worry about the past but look to the future, and take care of yourself.

If you feel good about yourself as you get back into the dating world, you’ll attract the kind of people who feel good about themselves, too.

Related: Psychologist Reveals The 3 Toxic Communication Styles That Always End Relationships

4. You are willing to notice red flags.

be honest. When you started this relationship, you saw a lot of red flags, right?

Maybe he told you about the toxicity with his ex? Maybe you’ve seen how controlling she can be. Maybe you knew he had no friends and was obsessed with you?

Did you ignore those red flags? Do you think that if you just love your person enough you can fix them? Was I wrong?

Moving forward, make sure you’re willing to recognize and act on red flags. Be prepared to walk away.

Only by doing this can you find the kind of person who can give you the healthy relationship you are looking for.

5. You want to date.

Dating is hard. It takes time, patience, and a willingness to make yourself vulnerable. If you want to date, you need to make sure that this is something you want to do.

Many people come to me thinking they are ready to put themselves back out there, but for whatever reason, they are not willing to put in the time and energy necessary.

They want to sit and wait for people to come to them. They want to say “yes” to dates and then cancel them. They don’t have their hearts in it 100 percent.

When they don’t find their person, they feel frustrated and closed off.

So, take a hard look at yourself and see if you’re ready to put yourself back out there.

If not, don’t do it yet. You’ll only be setting yourself up for failure, which will only set your self-esteem back up.
It is very important to know the right time to date again after a toxic relationship.

Do it successfully so you can find the love you are looking for.

Make sure you think longer about your ex all the time. Take the time to look at what happened in the relationship so you don’t make the same mistakes again and be prepared to notice red flags.

Rebuild your self-esteem and don’t put yourself out there before you’re ready.

If you can do these things, you’ll be ready to date again, and ready to find the person who can make your dreams come true.

Related: My Own Toxic Positivity Destroyed The One Relationship I Thought Was Unbreakable