the main points
Narcissists are more interested in celebrating themselves than celebrating anyone else.
Narcissists give gifts that represent an investment in their own desires, not in the desire to please others.
Arrogant and vulnerable narcissists destroy parties and social gatherings for different but related reasons, it’s all about them.
When everyone is in a party mood, if a narcissist walks into the room, the mood can change in the blink of an eye. If the narcissist isn’t the center of everyone’s attention, they won’t waste any time sucking all the air out of the party without a second thought. Narcissists need to be the focus of every guest’s attention, and if they don’t feel that others view them as the “life of the party,” they will go out of their way to get a response to “Look at me!” Strange behavior otherwise they will take their date, if they bring one, and walk out quickly. All the way home and the next day, the narcissist will complain about the low-quality guests, the bad host, and the disappointing party.
Finding their joy by spoiling other people’s fun
When someone suffers from Narcissistic Personality Disorder, or displays significant narcissistic tendencies, celebrations are often where the greatest chaos and disaster can occur. Narcissists do not enjoy celebrating important events for others and will try to shift attention to themselves regardless of who the guest of honor is. Narcissists can be especially annoying during holiday celebrations when there is not one contender for their attention, but rather an entire day, season, or event. Narcissists feel that the holiday steals the spotlight that they themselves should have.
There are two general types of narcissists, grandiose and vulnerable. Arrogant narcissists do everything in a big way and honestly believe they live a “larger than life” life that is the envy of everyone who knows them.
Vulnerable narcissists do not necessarily seek the same amount of public attention, but they do demand to be the center of attention in one-on-one relationships. When deprived of their narcissistic supply, they can unpredictably erupt with surprisingly hostile and ferocious aggression fueled by narcissistic rage.
No matter what type of narcissist you have in your life, you should be very careful about accepting gifts from them. Narcissists don’t give gifts to make you feel loved, they give gifts to show that they are not loving and generous:
#5 Facts about narcissists and gift giving
Narcissists give gifts that represent an investment in their own desires, not in the desire to please others.
Narcissists give gifts in an attempt to keep the recipient’s devotion or loyalty strong.
Narcissists give gifts only as a way to maintain control in the relationship, not as a way to make someone else happy.
Related : 8 Life Setbacks and Failures of Narcissists
Narcissists don’t give expensive gifts just so they think you’re cool; They give expensive gifts so that you and others will think they are cool. They will even give expensive gifts if they are in debt to maintain the facade of wealth and success.
Narcissists do not give gifts out of love; They give gifts out of fear.
The weak narcissist at celebrations
When vulnerable narcissists are invited to celebrations of other people’s important events, such as anniversaries or birthdays, they may not want to show up at all. It is difficult for them to keep their narcissistic appetite fed when everyone around them is raising a glass to someone else’s success. The vulnerable narcissist gets his supply from the failings and mistakes of others. If they show it at all, they will desperately hope to find a reason to feel superior to others. They will find fault with the venue, the guest list, the drink choices, the decorations, the clothes other guests are wearing, or the accomplishments of the guest of honor.
If these petty comments aren’t enough to meet their supply needs, the vulnerable narcissist may stoop so low as to sabotage the event to make the party-goers and host feel bad. They might start an argument, spill red wine on the white carpet, or accidentally bump into or trip over someone carrying a plate of food – anything they can do to make others look bad or feel bad. They can go to any lengths to access their supplies to achieve a moment of narcissistic satisfaction and ward off narcissistic rage.
The arrogant narcissist at celebrations
Grandiose narcissists need to feel superior to everyone else in an event. They engage in self-aggrandizing behavior without any shame and will demand the best in everything and make a fuss if they are rejected. Their level of entitlement is off scale, and they will rush to the front of any line and shamelessly take the best and biggest of anything on offer. They will exaggerate their successes to get others to praise them, and they will easily lie to make themselves seem more deserving and accomplished than they are. If you are in a relationship with a narcissist, you should not be surprised when he takes credit for the gifts you buy for others, the meals you prepare or the parties you plan, or the good behavior of your children. They may make promises of special gifts or holiday trips, but then fail to deliver after bragging to everyone about what they have to offer.
The best way to deal with narcissists at important celebrations is to exclude them from the guest list. However, if you can’t cut the narcissist off your guest list, here are five suggestions to keep the celebration on track and minimize the damage a narcissist can do:
5 Tips for dealing with narcissists during celebrations
Don’t start arguments because this will only fuel their narcissistic rage.
Don’t tell them how to act or what to do; They resist following the directions of others.
Don’t assume you can convince them to see your point of view; They can only see the world through their jaundiced perspective.
Don’t expect to reach them through honest, emotional conversations. They are known for their lack of empathy for others and have no interest in understanding other people’s point of view.
Be especially careful not to humiliate or challenge them in front of others.