To the narcissist – money is power.

Power is also abuse.

They hold it over the heads of the unsuspecting as if it is a weapon of mass destruction, because they know how to use it to manipulate.

Think about it – a narcissist doesn’t know how to love people, they only know how to love material things. Cars, houses, their job, good food – and what do they need to get all those things?

MONEY!

Don’t ever be shocked to learn that the narcissist falls into the most toxic part of their own egotistical character where money is concerned – and it would benefit you to know the top ways they do this.

Verification

To compensate for their extreme lack of self-esteem, narcissists will seek out money for external validation.

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I know this sounds crazy, and to you or me—the non-narcissist—it is. Why would anyone need to buy anything in order to fit in or be like the people they wish they were? It’s almost embarrassing to think that adults behave this way.

It’s more acceptable if you’re seven and in school and want to show off your new sports coat or football cards, but when you’re a full-fledged adult, this behavior is nothing more than a huge red flag.

What They Lack, They Try to Make Up

Narcissists are arrogant—they can’t go a day without trying to attract someone’s attention—even strangers—just to make themselves feel better.

This is because they feel an extreme level of self-importance that has been artificially developed to cover up their low self-esteem (which, believe it or not, doesn’t actually exist).

Money is a great way to show people that they’re not poor, and it’s one of the only ways a narcissist can feel like they’re worth something.

statuseffect

Look at what I have that you don’t.

My life is great.

I make great decisions that get me where I am.

People love me.

I love getting all the attention.

You want to yawn, right? I know I do.

I’ve seen it so many times before. Stopping at a stoplight and seeing an expensive car next to you, and it’s not about validation this time, it’s about the narcissist wanting you to look at them and see how successful they are.

Oh my god, this person must be really important because they’re driving a car that gets so much attention from everyone.

Related : What is Narcissist Triangulation And Easy 6 Ways To Stop It

We don’t understand it, but we know that it also comes from a palace of insecurity. You can’t fit in easily if you’re a narcissist—you have to stand out in some way so that others know that your life is being lived exactly the way you want it to be.

This is another selfish look into the mind of a narcissist who wants all the attention, all the time.

Punishment

Withholding money from you is a narcissist’s way of pleasing themselves with more power and control.

Yes, they expect you to be on your best behavior at all times so they can wave the money in front of you, and if there is even the slightest room for conflict or disagreement, the narcissist will look to tell you that they will use the money to punish you.

This could look like this:

Switching bank cards, so that the one you have is cancelled and deemed useless.

Changing passwords to shared banking.

Finding new ways to budget or cut back on what you spend because they have decided it is “too much”.

You will feel small when you are punished, like you have gotten yourself into real trouble. It has nothing to do with you, in fact, the narcissist just wants to get one foot in your financial door and tell you that they are the boss.

ToExploitYou

Yes, there are definitely narcissists out there who use you to get what they want.

They will always want to borrow from you and will put all their emotional baggage on you to make you feel guilty for lending them money (that you will never see).

If you dare ask for it again, you will be told that you are selfish and impatient, and that you lack empathy for them in their difficult times.

Related : What is Gaslighting in Narcissism? Narcissistic Gaslighting Explained

Narcissists want their own way, and remember that they can also come across as a needy narcissist, who wants what you have without being willing to work for it.

TwoSetsofStandards

Oh, the hypocrisy can get so real. Narcissists love having money. It allows them to indulge in their wildest dreams and get whatever they feel they deserve with it.

They splurge on expensive clothes, or book their dream vacation. Maybe they invest in a car upgrade or a hot tub. Anything you can think of – they will do it if they can.

But wait…

Related : What is Narcissistic Projection? (With Examples)

What happens if you indulge yourself? What if you decide to get takeout for the weekend, or rent a movie on a streaming platform?

Do you think we’re made of money?

What a waste of money, you could have bought a whole grocery store with that.

Oh, I see you’re not bothered about how much you’re spending this week.

I work hard for this money, and you just decide to waste it?

Oh my god, how selfish are you?

Yes, yes. Same old thing — but what does that show you?