What makes real people different from others?

It is not uncommon to hear someone being called a fake or a phony, but more often than not, such labels seem to be reserved only for people whose perspective of being real differs from ours.

Even if you come across people who are constantly trying their best to present a modified and embellished image of themselves, you should refrain from immediately dismissing them as a figment of their imagination rather than an image made up of sincere beliefs, principles and convictions.

Sadly, the world we have haphazardly crafted for ourselves insists on self-detachment from the very first days of our residence in it; from forcing you to drown the majority of the instincts you were born with to imposing countless cultural, social or moral norms, which you either adhere to or you are labeled an outcast and treated accordingly.

When you combine this with the fact that much of who we become is formed while we are still too young to have a deeper understanding of the consequences of our choices and decisions, blaming someone for wanting to present themselves in a more positive light than might be justified can be a bit harsh.

The list of documented, if not justified but at least understandable, ways in which we deceive ourselves can seem daunting to those who want to be completely honest with themselves and the world around them.

But fortunately, there are also lists that help you do this by pointing out the common traits of authentic people. Here is one of them.

1. Authentic people value approval but are not content with it

Being authentic doesn’t mean being completely oblivious to how your surroundings react to you; it simply means not letting those reactions define everything you are or do.

Related : 4 Types of Difficult People and How to Distance Yourself from Them

While you might think that the best way to listen to yourself is to ignore everyone else around you, this is a dangerous path. Even the most honest and realistic person is vulnerable to self-deception.

From the Dunning-Kruger effect to a host of other inherent or learned biases and logical fallacies, being objective about yourself is no simple matter of choice. In order to create a complete picture of yourself, you need to consider your appearance from a third perspective.

It goes without saying that you won’t give equal weight to everyone’s opinion, and you won’t base your appreciation of their input or advice solely on how much what they say aligns with what you actually think or feel.

In general, you should listen to people whose honesty and integrity you respect, especially if they have a reputation for not pulling punches. In this case, hard truths may be the most helpful kind.

2. Authentic People Are Not Afraid to Admit Failures or Weaknesses

While we may seem arrogant or ambitious when we think about ourselves, there are not many people who believe that they are or should be absolutely perfect in every aspect of their existence.

If you have an ounce of realism within you, you will acknowledge your shortcomings, and if you are truly authentic, you will not focus more energy on hiding them than on trying to polish them out of your personality.

3. Authentic People Are Confident But Not Arrogant or Narcissistic

Being proud of your accomplishments or even some of your personality traits is by no means a bad thing. In fact, recognizing your qualities is just as important as recognizing your shortcomings.

Related : 11 Things That Happen When You Discard the Narcissist First

However, acting as your own marketing agency is not something that truly confident people will do. Letting your actions speak for you is always better than constantly talking about your actions.

This does not mean that you should approach false humility, as that is just another form of deception.

4. Honest people aren’t shy about expressing their opinions

Being honest doesn’t mean you’re always right or that all your opinions are perfect. If the strength of your convictions forces you to fight for them, no matter how unpopular they are, you may accumulate a bunch of other negative labels, but no one will be able to call you a phony with a clear conscience.

Of course, you don’t need to approach this so categorically. You might think, for example, that cats are an unnecessary life form and exist only to annoy people and destroy pillows, but you don’t exactly need to present this idea to your friend whose cat just died.

Remember, there is honesty and there is honest work.

5. Honest people keep their word

Honest people make honest promises. They won’t accept an obligation just to please someone or to seem nicer than they are.

Again, this should be approached with caution, as there is always the possibility that circumstances may not allow for the desired solution, even if the promise was made in good faith, with realistic expectations and an appreciation of the situation.

Conclusion

Even long before the advent of social networks and the increase in connectivity in general, we were able to display every part of our lives to a global audience, and people found it very easy and attractive to hide some parts of their personality and highlight others.

Even if you don’t like this type of behavior, condemning them without considering why they do it can be reckless.

Finding your true self isn’t easy for anyone, and sticking to who you think you are can be considerably more difficult. But eventually, most of us realize that satisfying everyone else’s standards is not only unnecessary, it’s downright impossible.

The sooner you realize that the only person you really need to impress is yourself, the sooner you’ll evolve into someone who actually has something to offer others.