Marriage is rewarded with gifts, tax breaks, and joint health insurance. Pooling resources make it easier to rent a nicer apartment, buy a house, and even travel.
We are told directly and indirectly that marriage will make you happy, but will it?
A happy marriage does a lot for health, wealth, and self-actualization. One 2010 study found that marriage is as stable as earning more than $100,000 a year and the healthy equivalent of quitting smoking, but an unhappy marriage negates all that and more.
Related: Why Empaths & Narcissists Are Attracted To Each Other (And The Toxic Relationship Between Them)
Sometimes you have to take off the rose-colored glasses and understand that common things that you usually think are all you need when you’re married aren’t really. Marriage is so much more than that.
Here are five myths about marriage that can challenge even the most promising marriages:
- Love is all you need.
While it’s certainly a prerequisite, it won’t get you far from the altar. Communication, shared values, tolerance, realistic expectations, commitment, and kindness are just a few of the requirements for a good marriage.
We all wish that love was all you needed to have a happy and successful marriage, but we all know that is not the case.
So, before you say “I do,” have those difficult conversations that need to happen for you both to be on the same page. This will prevent you from being blindsided later on after the honeymoon.
- You complement each other.
Complementing each other is certainly one of the benefits of a good relationship, but expecting someone else to make up for your flaws is an unrealistic expectation. You cannot fix your partner, so you have to love him as he is and accept his past.
You are who you are and no one can change you or your partner.
Related: 6 Tiny Signs Toxic Stress Is Slowly Eroding Your Relationship
- You share everything.
Sharing may be caring, but sharing everything is also unrealistic. What will be shared and what will be kept separate varies from person to person. Telling yourself otherwise creates another problem.
- Children bring you closer
Sure, children keep parents forever entangled, but numerous studies show that the birth of a first child often drives people apart. I would say the worst feeling of loneliness is loneliness in a relationship because it goes against everything we expect to feel.
Having a baby can make your relationship stressful and frustrating, especially if you’re not getting enough sleep.
- Everything will fall into place with Mr. or Mrs. Right.
How many times have you heard of people breaking up because “it shouldn’t be so hard”? Although there may be some truth to that, expecting a relationship to go on its own if it’s right removes all responsibility from the only two people who can make it work.
