Are you unnecessarily nervous about people in your life who don’t deserve your attention? Here are steps to deal with stressful people and live a peaceful life.
Learning to manage stressful people effectively is not easy. Many people suffer from co-workers who make their jobs more difficult or families and friends who may at best not be aware of their negative impact, or at worst derive some satisfaction from it. Of the many negative feelings that can arise from dealing with difficult people, most will end up being emotional stress, which is the killer. Stress has been the subject of numerous research studies dedicated to health and wellness (or, conversely, disease) and has been shown to have a lasting impact on your mental state and physical health.
Managing stress and the people who cause it
Everyone faces daily stressors. Some are expected or even routine. Others surprise us. Either way, we have to deal with some level of stress every single day, and more often than not, we do so without even thinking about it.
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But there are still many times when we have to make conscious efforts to deal with stress, and dealing with stressful or “toxic” people is just one of them. Whether their actions are frustrating, cruel, or simply negative, the best approach to working with stressed people is to be proactive and learn how to deal with their stress.
Here are five great tips for learning how to deal with stressful people:
- Be proactive
Since you’ve dealt with this person before, you’ll likely be able to project the situation into your head. You may know exactly what they are going to do. Use this knowledge to decide what to do. Be proactive and decide ahead of time how you want to handle the situation and stick to that plan. You may find this decision easier than dwelling on fear or negativity before a confrontation, and it is better than going in without a plan.
Related: Why Strong Women Stay In Bad Relationships
- Control your reaction
A person who doesn’t care has tremendous power. If someone upsets you because of their actions, what they say, or what they think, ask yourself, “Why do I care?” You can’t change or control people, but you can control how you interact with them. By taking the power of your response and reaction into your own hands, you not only provide a protective barrier, but you can only take the power away from them.
Managing stressed people
- Don’t ride the emotional bus
Exhausted people will try to take you on an emotional journey with them. They get angry, you get angry, and screaming happens. They feel sad, you get sad, and everyone else is sad. Don’t ride the emotional bus. Listen, talk, and communicate, but don’t let them control you by bringing up unnecessary negative emotions.
Related: 8 Reasons Women Stay In Abusive Relationships
- Know what you need and your goals
When meeting with a stressful person, know in advance what you need from the meeting. What are your goals? Keep these goals in mind as the conversation ebbs and flows. Restate your goals. If you can achieve your goals, then you have learned how to deal with this person.
Be stubborn about your goals
- Don’t dwell
After meeting a particularly stressful person, don’t think about it. If something goes wrong, do your best to make it right or move on. You can be sure that the person causing the stress is not thinking about you and is on their next victim. Don’t allow a stressful interaction to spoil the rest of your day. That said, you can try to learn from your experience and make a plan the next time you are in this situation and then let go.
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