If you’re newly single after escaping a toxic partner, you’re probably wondering if dating after a toxic relationship is a good idea.

The idea of ​​dating can be scary. It is helpful to think about how to do this healthily, as this is an important component of avoiding repeating old toxic patterns.

You may be wondering: “Will I ever find happiness again?” Of course, you will.

Fortunately, there are certain steps you can take to prepare yourself and set you up for success in your next relationship, and important warning signs of toxic relationships so you can avoid them before they start.

Related: 10 behaviors that make people resent you almost instantly, according to psychology

Here are the five steps you need to take to start dating after a toxic relationship.

1. Get to know yourself again.

People who have been in toxic relationships lose their identity.

For months or years, they were told that they were less than others, that everything was their fault, that they were worthless, unworthy of respect, and that they were unattractive and stupid.

This greatly affects an individual’s self-esteem. And people with low self-esteem attract other people with low self-esteem, starting the whole vicious cycle again.

So, when a toxic relationship ends, take some time to get to know yourself again.

Spend time with people who love you and relearn how much you love them. Do something you’ve always wanted to do, but never believed you could.

Experience how strong you are. Learn something new and reconnect with your wits.

Building your self-confidence is an essential part of success in the dating world.

If you can go into it without thinking of yourself as a victim or less than, but as someone who has the strength to get out of a toxic relationship, someone who values ​​themselves and is surrounded by people who love them, you will attract such admiration. -Thinkers.

These are the people you want to be in a relationship with.

The thought may be daunting, but getting to know yourself again is an important first step in dating after a toxic relationship.

2. Evaluate what happened in your relationship.

Toxic relationships are destructive, especially when they turn into abusive relationships.

You find yourself in a place where you are constantly feeling miserable, questioning yourself and everything around you, being verbally or even physically abused, and just treading water trying to keep yourself from drowning.

Ugh!

But once you escape that relationship, it’s important to evaluate how you got there.

Was it unhealthy from the beginning, or was there something that made the relationship toxic?

Did others know how bad your relationship was, or did you hide it? If you were abused, were you aware of it at the time?

It is also important to evaluate your role in the relationship.

Being aware of everything that happened in your relationship and recognizing and taking responsibility for the things you did will allow you to take the first step back into dating.

You will have clarity about what happened and will be determined not to let it happen again.

3. Believe in love.

Many people who are ready to take the first steps to get back into dating after a toxic relationship may be skeptical.

Their view of love has been tainted by the past. The prospect of meeting someone new—someone who can love his broken self—seems impossible.

Let me tell you, from years of personal and professional experience, that it is not only possible but likely, that you will meet another person in the world.

You will meet someone who can treat you right and will make you happy. It may take a while and you may need to kiss a few frogs, but your person is out there.

Although online dating may seem unpalatable, there are plenty of people who have met their match on dating sites and apps who live happily ever after.

So, before you start dating, ask yourself if you think this could work.

If you don’t believe you’ll find someone, you won’t. Getting rid of negative energy will kill your dating prospects from the start.

Believe that you will find someone and the positive energy will attract that person to you too!

Related: Lazy people who become highly disciplined often practice these 7 simple habits

4. Choose differently.

Many people who do not evaluate what happened in past relationships move on to relationships that are very similar to the toxic relationships they had in the past.

For whatever reason, they find themselves attracted to the same type of people — sometimes, over and over again — and relationships end the same way every time.

Now that you have an awareness of what happened in your past toxic relationship, it may be easier for you to recognize the things you need to do differently when it comes time to date.

Maybe now you can recognize the type of person you want to date, the type of behaviors you want each other to display, and the type of feelings you want the next person to make you feel.

I have a client who was in a relationship with someone she didn’t trust. He repeatedly cheated on her and lied to her about it. She was determined to find someone she could trust next time, and she did.

And even though that relationship didn’t work out, she knew that there were men she could trust going out of it, those who were not only incredibly trustworthy but also those who had many traits that her old boyfriend lacked.

5. Go slow.

Many people meet someone, fall madly in love, and then quickly fall into bed without getting to know the new person.

When this new person finally begins to show their true self, you are often too far away to exit the relationship easily.

If you meet someone you like, take your time. Learn about his likes and dislikes, his past relationships, his relationships with his parents, and his hopes and dreams for the future.

And don’t fall into bed with them!

Sex changes everything, especially for women who seem more attached to someone after sex, even if they weren’t particularly attached before.

My boyfriend, the love of my life, was friends for six months before we started dating. Because there was no possibility of dating, we were open and honest with each other.