If you’re stuck in a toxic relationship, it may be because you haven’t learned how to be more confident and overcome your low self-esteem. Have you ever been in a relationship where you took the feeling of not being good enough to a whole new level? Have you ever wondered if the reason you didn’t feel good enough was because you got into a toxic relationship in the first place? We’ve all known someone like this.
Sometimes, feeling like you’re not good enough can make healthy relationships completely impossible. However, the signs of feeling like you are not good enough will show up in your life in the same way. It would be as clear and damaging as if a dissolute friend were driving the message home. The seeds of low self-esteem and low self-worth are usually planted in childhood. The self does not have the cognitive or experiential ability to discover this. It becomes part of the child’s formative development.
She doesn’t know any different, even though she’s grown up feeling somehow “not right” and “not good enough.” Maybe you recognize that little girl. Maybe you struggle with self-doubt and self-defeating habits. You may value other people’s opinions over your own time, energy, and self-esteem. Maybe you are so sensitive to rejection that you will do anything to avoid it.
If you’re a people-pleaser, you probably don’t realize that you’re misusing the gift of empathy. Your seemingly selfless interest in ensuring everyone’s happiness is a mask for your fear of rejection. “Oh my God! What if I voice my opinion and everyone disagrees? I won’t have any friends. What if I’m not there to help when a friend is hurting? It’s better to keep everyone happy, even if I’m not.” 5 harmful habits that make you feel like you’re not good enough in a toxic relationship, so if you want to learn how to be more confident, you need to be aware of them.
- You feel guilty
In unhealthy relationships, you don’t feel guilty because you did something wrong. You feel guilty because you have internalized negative messages and are convinced that you can never do or do enough.
- You think you are a failure
You ignore your achievements, difficulties, and efforts. You procrastinate because you get lost in the details, and miss the forest for the trees. Your insecurities convince you that anything less than perfect equals failure.
Related: 7 habits of unsuccessful people who are always playing catch up in life
- You are a perfectionist
You reevaluate yourself, feel overwhelmed, procrastinate, and often simply give up. Not getting into the game is somehow easier than risking getting shut down. When people recognize your talents and accomplishments, your belief that you are not good enough convinces you that you are an imposter. “It’s only a matter of time before they find out,” she thinks.
- She suffers from depression and anxiety
If you always feel like you’re not good enough, you’re more at risk for suicide. Your self-esteem and self-confidence are conditional – fragile – and always based on an unrealistic idea of perfection.
Related:
Related: 10 behaviors that make people resent you almost instantly, according to psychology
- You ruminate over bad results
“It’s all my fault. If only I had said this, I would have done that…” When you read this list, you may feel sorry for the person described. That’s a sad way to live, isn’t it? But what if the person described is you? Can you identify and calm the liar in your mind that is destroying your self-esteem? And can you realize how the habit of not feeling good enough prevents you from being confident and living your best life?
How long will you stay in toxic relationships with toxic friends who constantly berate you? Does he convince you that everything that goes wrong is your fault? Did he tell you that no one else would give you the time of day, let alone love you? It’s a terrible situation imaginable. But it’s the truth – both in your relationships with others and (especially) in your relationship with yourself. And allowing it to continue can erode all your beautiful potential.
- You think you are a failure
You ignore your achievements, difficulties, and efforts. You procrastinate because you get lost in the details, and miss the forest for the trees. Your insecurities convince you that anything less than perfect equals failure.
Related: 10 types of people in life you simply cannot trust, according to psychology
- You are a perfectionist
You reevaluate yourself, feel overwhelmed, procrastinate, and often simply give up. Not getting into the game is somehow easier than risking getting shut down. When people recognize your talents and accomplishments, your belief that you are not good enough convinces you that you are an imposter. “It’s only a matter of time before they find out,” she thinks.
- She suffers from depression and anxiety
If you always feel like you’re not good enough, you’re more at risk for suicide. Your self-esteem and self-confidence are conditional – fragile – and always based on an unrealistic idea of perfection.
Related: 10 things a toxic man will do when he realizes he can no longer control you
- You ruminate over bad results
“It’s all my fault. If only I had said this, I would have done that…” When you read this list, you may feel sorry for the person described. That’s a sad way to live, isn’t it? But what if the person described is you? Can you identify and calm the liar in your mind that is destroying your self-esteem? And can you realize how the habit of not feeling good enough prevents you from being confident and living your best life?
How long will you stay in toxic relationships with toxic friends who constantly berate you? Does he convince you that everything that goes wrong is your fault? Did he tell you that no one else would give you the time of day, let alone love you? It’s a terrible situation imaginable. But it’s the truth – both in your relationships with others and (especially) in your relationship with yourself. And allowing it to continue can erode all your beautiful potential.
