I know this is a strange concept, but narcissists are just as scared as you and I are.

You may not realize it when you see their smiling faces, or watch them parade through the crowd like a peacock, but it’s true.

The way they’re scared is what sets them apart from the rest of us—and they’re most scared after you’re gone.

As you prepare for the next phase of your life, the narcissist is most scared.

Here’s exactly what they’re scared of, and I’ll just joke about why.

Being With You

It’s the best thing for both of you, but for entirely different reasons.

For you, you’re a fabrication. You’ve fallen so deeply in love that you can’t believe your luck.

The person you’ve been asking the universe for has appeared, and you feel like the luckiest person in the world.

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For narcissists? They’ve got you. Their charm has worked, and they watch you devour every game they play as if it’s your last meal.

In your eyes, and in theirs, this is a wonderful time. The only difference is that you don’t know the true motivation behind this encounter.

Knowing The Good In Their Life

Once they meet you, they realize what’s good in store for them.

I mean, narcissists want it all, and you can bet they’ll find it in the person they ask to be with. The work begins because the narcissist knows the outcome before you do.

What was perceived as an innocent time in your life, when love was flourishing, is now where the narcissist has you captive, ready to manipulate, control, and abuse you.

Fear? Really?

Absolutely. Think about it.

If the person’s intention is to abuse you, and they find the right person to do it with, they’ll be extremely happy.

This leaves only the deep fear they must have inside, knowing that one day this might all end.

Pretending not to care about you leaving them is just a facade.

They’re actually terrified.

Narcissists: Fear and How It Manifests

There are five steps to understanding what narcissists fear. All of them are relevant to when you leave them, and I personally don’t think any of them should be ignored.

1 Loss of Control.

Narcissists thrive on controlling others, so when you leave, they fear losing their ability to manipulate and influence you.

What would they do without you?

2 Exposing Their Reality.

They are terrified that you will expose their toxic behavior to their acquaintances, shattering the idealized image they work so hard to maintain.

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The anxiety of being exposed fills them with fear.

3 Abandonment.

Narcissists fear being forgotten or replaced. Your absence threatens their self-esteem.

4 Seeing You Succeed Without Them.

Nothing scares a narcissist more than seeing you happy, thriving, and successful without them. This proves they weren’t as necessary as they thought—the best revenge!

5 Losing Your Source of Narcissistic Supply.

Narcissists thrive on admiration, attention, and emotional feedback. Leaving you means losing a major source of that supply.

They don’t want to feel empty and unimportant, but that’s what you’ll do when you leave.

How Narcissistic Fear Manifests

Narcissists will never be afraid. They won’t show their fear the way they should, because to them, it implies a degree of vulnerability they simply can’t let go of.

Instead of being honest with themselves and everyone else, you’ll see fear in other, more sinister ways.

Anger and Aggression. When they feel afraid, narcissists may explode with intense anger, blaming and criticizing you, or even threatening you to regain control.

Smear Campaigns. Don’t discount anything from them—they may spread lies and misinformation about you to discredit you just to protect their own image.

Optimization. Narcissists may try to lure you back with false apologies. They may shower you with love or promise to change, but it’s all designed to keep you around.

Victim Mentality. They may play the victim, claiming you’ve wronged them for the sake of sympathy, but this is all about evading responsibility.

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The Silent Treatment or Ignoring. Instead of direct confrontation, you may find some narcissists withdrawing completely. They hope their absence will make you crave their attention again.

Isn’t that easy?

It’s not for their victims, which is why so many of you are suffering, or have ended up suffering.

This kind of treatment takes time to recover from. Some carry it with them for the rest of their lives, making overcoming this type of abuse extremely difficult, extremely slow, and extremely painful.

Knowing what you’re dealing with always helps you become your own source of knowledge.

Loneliness

The narcissist’s biggest fear is leaving them. Once you make your decision, their world explodes.

For so long, they’ve been accustomed to a certain way of life that benefits them.

They’ve been able to watch you suffer through their game.

The look of pure joy on their faces when they make you cry is not normal at all, but it’s what fuels their motivation to keep doing it again and again.

Being alone means they can’t do any of that anymore.

Because—well—you’re gone.

So, being alone means they have no one to abuse them on a daily basis.

Another thing narcissists fear…

Reflecting On Themselves

Before you get excited, I don’t mean this as a self-reflection exercise—narcissists would never know how to do it!

If they did, none of us would have a problem, and I certainly wouldn’t have half the job I do.

This means you’ve left them with so much time to be with themselves.

Suddenly, they have gaps in their day where they would normally be plotting, hurting, and controlling you, and now everything is empty (or rather, empty).

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Narcissists keep themselves busy so they don’t have to face themselves, but if you suddenly leave, they’ll end up suffering greatly.

Shockingly, narcissists don’t even love themselves; they only pretend to love themselves for the sake of the perfect image they want you to believe.

Removing yourself from the situation means you’re prioritizing yourself and leaving them in a miserable position.

Leave Anyway

Taking time to not feel sorry for narcissists is what will ultimately save you.

If you’re wondering whether or not you’re doing the right thing, I urge you to do what you need to do to recover.

Don’t stay just because you’re afraid of watching them collapse or being punished. Could it be worse than staying? No.

Leave anyway and let them suffer.