In today’s fast-paced society, there seems to be a double standard. We – as women – are expected to have great jobs, impeccable style, rock star husbands, well-behaved children, and still have time to take care of our extended families and friends.
No wonder why so many people forget who they are anymore.
What will others think if we focus on ourselves for a while? Narcissist. He means. selfishness. But actually, making time for yourself isn’t selfish at all. I often tell patients that you can’t invest in any relationship until you take the time to pay attention to yourself first.
#Here are 5 ways to take time to focus on yourself and discover who you are (and who cares what anyone else thinks):
1. Start with gratitude.
Thank the universe or whatever spiritual force you believe in for what you have in your life and ask for what you want. If you don’t ask, you may not receive it.
If you don’t know what to ask, this is the time when you need to learn how to sit in silence. You will find the answer, even if not now. The universe works in very interesting ways.
2. Challenge yourself to go somewhere (without technology) and sit there.
Eat a meal alone. People are watching. What do you like or want in others (e.g., family cohesion, children, nice shoes)? What do others have that you can do without?
3. Change it. Get lost and messy.
Take another route home or adjust your schedule so you can do tasks in a different order. Try evening yoga classes instead of morning. Choose a new type of coffee. Download new music that you couldn’t imagine choosing yourself.
See what you think. Life and our identity can become very monotonous if the same routine is followed, and we forget who we are even if we think we are stuck to the same routine.
4. Meet new and interesting people.
Go to meetup.com or your local city’s webpage and join a local group so you can interact with different people and get other people’s perspectives. Yes, “birds of a feather flock together” – but always choosing to surround yourself with people who are your mirror image often provides a different perspective on parts of yourself you may not even know exist.
Related : Breaking Up With An Abusive Narcissist Isn’t Easy — Even For America
For example: If my colleague hadn’t pushed me to try barre classes (she’s very athletic, and at the time I was just getting back in shape), I don’t know how much I would have enjoyed it and we have been able to form a deeper bond after she challenged me and I in turn took her to a meditation workshop (she kept postpone it).
5. Understand that the concept of identity and who we are is fluid and ever-changing.
Write your thoughts in a journal or blog. This way, you can track your development, points of struggle, and victory. It can be fun to look back as we often do at photos and memories and wonder why we insisted on attending every high school football game when we didn’t understand the game; Or why we loved someone when they offered us nothing but frustration and low self-esteem.
Most of all, patience and understanding of ourselves are essential. As long as we can tap into our intention for self-improvement, we should know that we are exactly where we need to be.
