The anonymous sender’s email changed Charlotte’s life forever.
While reading it, she was horrified to learn that her good, moral husband, Irv, was not only cheating on her but was on a sexual voyage.
If it had been one woman or one time, things would have been different. Instead, Irv hooked up with as many women as he could, sometimes having two or three affairs a night.
Was Irv a fucking man?
Good question.
Since he was over twenty-five and not hot, that makes him more of a womanizer than a whore.
On the other hand, Irv can be considered a player if he is honest about his conquests, or a ladies’ man if he is charming, flirtatious, and has a bit of elegance.
Unfortunately, it was none of those things.
Related: 6 Ways To Know If Narcissistic Supply Is The Cause Of Your Toxic Relationship
Whatever you call it, Irv was a sexual narcissist.
Sexual narcissists tend to be serial cheaters, concerned only with their sexual satisfaction. Like Irv, sexual narcissists don’t care who they hurt in the process
If asked on the rare occasion when he was in the mood to tell the truth, Irv would say he had unmet needs.
sad face.
However, the entire harem would not be able to meet Erv’s needs.
Irv was likable because he didn’t seem emotionally dangerous. He was bookish, untragic.
One look would convince anyone that he wasn’t cute enough to be a heartbreaker.
The surprising fact about womanizers is that they are usually not the sexiest or best-looking men. They just know how to lie well, and Irv lies like a mockingbird pretending to be helpful.
#Here are the five stages of realizing that your man is a sexual narcissist:
The first stage: denial
When Charlotte discovered the truth, she felt like a character in a novel – nothing seemed real or relevant to her life.
She had had experience as a womanizer before Irv and was eager to take on someone who was very handsome or very accomplished. She can spot a narcissist from ten feet away, but not when they’re sharing each other’s streaming accounts.
She couldn’t believe that the man who spent so much of their time together bitching and complaining about being a victim in his private life was having as much sex as a professional ballplayer.
For a brief moment, Charlotte felt sorry for all the women he had cheated on her with. Then she realized the stupidity of it all and laughed so hard that tears came out of her eyes and dripped into her morning kombucha.
Related: 5 Tips For Surviving Co-Parenting With A Narcissistic Ex
The second stage: anger
Irv made Charlotte feel like her presence in his life was vital. It is as if he is purifying and it is his water.
Now I realize it might have been the water, but it was always shit.
Charlotte was angry when she learned the truth, but her anger was not with Irv. How could she have allowed herself to be deceived by a man with below-average looks who lacked charm and charisma?
He promised Irv that he would never hurt her and that her heart was safe with him.
Without regret, Charlotte took Irv’s beloved collection of old lunch boxes and Star Trek memorabilia and donated them to a nearby daycare center.
Stage 3: Bargaining
Charlotte went from “If he promises to change and stay faithful, maybe we can save our marriage” to “I can do better.”
She decided that he had to pay because he loved women, so she hired a ruthless divorce lawyer.
There was no need to bargain, not even for legal fees.
Related: What It’s Really Like To Be In Love With An Abusive Narcissist
Stage 4: Depression
Using her feelings of bitterness, frustration, and sadness as fuel, Charlotte waged a social media war against her soon-to-be ex-husband.
She wrote long, detailed posts about his cheating on social media, deleted him from all her accounts, and made a funny TikTok about him that went viral.
Charlotte enlisted all her friends to write terrible reviews about Irv and his podiatry practice.
No one wanted Irv to have his bone tumors checked after Charlotte’s operation was completed.
The fifth stage: acceptance
Charlotte accepted that her husband was bad and that she did not know him at all. Although his actions were hurtful to her, they had nothing to do with her and more to do with his overwhelming feelings of inadequacy.
She knew in her heart that the only way you could win with a womanizer was to move on.
Irv found his soulmate with a female version of himself. They met on a hookup site while they were married to other people, and pledged their love to each other.
Get out your stopwatches to see who cheats first.
My money is on Irv’s new love. He must be the one who betrayed him for him to learn the lesson of betrayal.
Charlotte went through all the stages of grief, grieving the loss of her innocence regarding her relationship with Irv, and came out stronger, wiser, and with a new, fully functioning bullshit detector.
As for the sender of the email detailing all of Irv’s infidelities, his sister feels no remorse for ruining Irv and Charlotte’s marriage and exposing Irv for his traitorous narcissism.
