It’s always nice to have someone in your life, but we all need our own space. Everyone has the right to set and respect appropriate boundaries.
Remember that not everyone needs and wants the same thing outside of a relationship. People have different ideas about what is good and healthy, and it may take some negotiation before the two of you agree about how much space you should have.
Of course, it’s fine to say something like that, but in practice, defining your boundaries can be tricky. You have to notice that it happens. Not everyone does. You must be able to handle it. Not everyone can.
5 Ways to Carve Your Personal Space in a Relationship:
- Cherish your individuality
Take a look at your life. Are you an individual or are you part of a whole? Many people find themselves treated as part of a group when they become part of a relationship. You could be one of them. If you find that your relationship has taken your personality away from you, you need to take steps to change that.
If you find yourself losing your individuality, insist on some personal space. Try redefining some of the space and habits as “you’re” as a person, different from “you’re” as a couple. Try to make or keep something for yourself that you can use to identify yourself.
- Try not to choke
There is such a thing as seeing too much of each other. Spending all of your time together isn’t healthy, and in fact, can lead to self-reliance, which is the kiss of death. It’s easy to assume that it’s normal for you to spend all of your time together as a couple. Those social conventions that both partners are automatically invited to events also don’t help.
Do you always find yourself spending time with your partner? Many people find themselves in the position of always being with the same person. It can be hard to find a way to get away, but this is what you need to do.
Find time to spend with your family and friends. Take up a hobby or even get in the habit of taking the time to walk every day. To spend all your time together is to risk getting tired of each other, and this will end your relationship.
You need to give yourself some personal space in some way, whether that’s through friends, a hobby, or just being away from your partner.
- External interests
Do you have any of your interests, or do you find that you do everything together? One of the most common ways people are asked to find their partner is by taking up a hobby. It makes sense to have some things in common, but not all of them.
Unfortunately, a lot of people are trying to do everything together, and that makes for a rather boring time.
If you find that you spend all of your time together, on one person’s hobbies, try stating a claim to your time and space. This can be as simple as staying home while your partner is out (and doing whatever you want while they’re there) or finding your hobbies.
The focus is on being your person and doing what you want to do. Even if you met your partner for a particular hobby, that doesn’t mean you have to do everything together! Carve out your personal space and do something you want to do. And do it alone.
- Absence hurts the heart
If you spend all of your time together, you may find that the magic starts to wear off fairly quickly. People are tired of each other. Do you feel stuck? Do you feel like you’re doing the same things, spending the same time together, day after day after day?
Spending all your time together means eventually that you get tired of seeing each other and that you run out of things to say to each other.
If you feel like this is happening to you, you need to take steps to ensure your personal space. Take a vacation on your own, if you can. If you can’t, try to make some time for yourself, even if it’s just going to the local park and reading a book.
Making time for yourself keeps things fresh and new, and ensures that you won’t tire of your partner. Just think: You might see a dog walking on its hind legs in the park—something you talk about when you get home.
- Why are you with them?
Sometimes we can look at people and wonder why we are spending time with them. When you see yourself getting to this point, you need to carve out some personal space.
Everyone has reasons for being with the person they’re with – they may have a great laugh or an encyclopedic knowledge of Die Hard movies, but there’s just something in there. Too much time together, and you can lose sight of it.
