How do you know if you are dealing with a covert narcissist? Read on to find out.
If you think a narcissist is easy to spot, think again. In many areas of life, we come across a narcissist, and most of the time they are bland, self-seeking attention-seekers who lack basic empathy.
But other types of narcissists can be just as dangerous as these. It took me a long time to get to know the hidden narcissist, but I finally got my finger on them. Unfortunately, one of them was a close family member. I should have known. Yes, there is such a thing as a covert narcissist, believe me.
Yes, even a quiet or withdrawn person can display some form of narcissism.
What is narcissism?
There are two ways to create a narcissist. This personality imbalance can be created in childhood when a person is loved too much or not enough. Curious how it works either way. For example, if a child is neglected, they can grow up to use manipulation as a way to get the attention they once sought. If a child is very loved, he can get used to the attention and crave it all his life.
Unlike the traditional form of narcissism, a covert narcissist can be difficult to recognize. Here are five pointers to help you!
- They don’t listen
Covert narcissists don’t listen to the conversation. Although they may appear to be paying attention, they are simply pretending to be interested in what you have to say. A lack of empathy causes the narcissist to formulate more than listen, and thus prepare to share more of himself.
And why is that? The covert narcissist is quietly cultivating himself as the center of the relationship, which is, in fact, not a relationship at all. Narcissists are unable to have real relationships and it forces them to become great actors.
- They are immature
I’m not saying being silly or childish is a bad thing, every single time. I would say that some infantile reactions are prevalent in the responses of narcissists.
Instead of taking constructive criticism for what it is, a covert narcissist will respond childishly, taking on the smallest issue or criticism. Covert narcissists tend to brush off blame while pretending that the issue doesn’t bother them as much as it does. They become passive-aggressive and fail to follow through on their actions or threats.
- They simplify the needs of others
Not only does the covert narcissist exaggerate trivial things, but he also oversimplifies the needs of others. How rude, isn’t it? If the situation is not related to the narcissist, they tend to dismiss the problem as inconsequential. If they don’t, they ignore the blame so they can avoid responsibility. Facts don’t matter, nor does reasoning. The covert narcissist believes and operates on their agenda.
- They show no humility
Even though they may pretend to care about you, well they pretend, a covert narcissist doesn’t use humility. Many of these people earn their praise by belittling themselves, and that’s the whole plan from the start. Sounds familiar, right?
I’m sure many of you have witnessed others looking for compliments. This does not mean that everyone who does this is a narcissist, but it is one indicator. Covert narcissists will also do things under the pretense that they enjoy them when in reality, they are doing things for the attention.
They always seem to crave an audience for everything. They seem to suffer when they do things on their own.
- They have no empathy
By now, you probably already know that a covert narcissist has no empathy. They are selfish and refuse to meet you halfway under any circumstances. Since they are usually quiet and introverted, they completely ignore your needs. They simply don’t care.
I hope these pointers help you spot a covert narcissist. It’s important to understand who you’re dealing with before you get involved with them for too long. The actions of a covert narcissist can, as I said before, be dangerous and even leave mental scars for you and others.
Unfortunately, the best way to deal with a covert narcissist is to keep your distance. Maybe they can somehow see themselves in the truth and decide to make a change. Until then, be careful and know who your real friends are.
