- It violates your privacy.
He is always checking your phone or leaning over to see who is calling you or who sent you that text message. He always checks your online status and wants to know who you are communicating with besides him. He wants to know your every move and why you do anything in life. These are all red flags that your partner is controlling and manipulating you.
When you’re in a healthy relationship built on mutual trust and respect, there’s no need to check your partner’s phone. There is no need to track their every move or question their behavior.
How to deal with it: Talk to your partner frankly. Tell him that he should trust you as much as you trust him and there is no need to check anyone’s phone or where you are that day. Tell him how you feel when he constantly checks up on you. This behavior is usually accompanied by extreme jealousy and if so, your happiness with him will not work.
- He is eager to change you.
Everything you are and everything you do is good but it’s not good enough. He pushes you to do better, be better and change, but he doesn’t accept you as you are. He wants you to become the image he has of you in his head and that’s not realistic or healthy. no one is perfect.
How to deal with him: Tell him how his behavior hurts you. You accepted him as he is so he should be able to do the same. You are your own woman with an already established personality and you shouldn’t even try to change to fit his ideals. Even if you reach those ideals, he will find something else that is not good enough. If he doesn’t change after talking to him, then you should leave because the only one who is not good enough in this story is him.
- He decides for you.
You rarely order it yourself because he knows what you should eat or drink. He has an opinion on everything, actually. He imposes decisions on every aspect of your life as if it were his own. He’s trying to cover it up by saying he knows you well and only has your best interests at heart but you’re his girlfriend, not his child – there’s no need for him to make any decisions for you. If you still insist on working on your relationship and trying to regain some balance, see Learn the secret to dealing with a control freak in relationships
How to deal with him: Tell him that his behavior bothers you, and even if his intentions are right, he is doing it wrong. You are able to speak for yourself and are able to make your own decisions without any interference from him. Of course you can consult him, especially if the decision affects both of you, but you have to be the one to make the decisions, big or small, that affect your life.
- He always blames you
Somehow, every time you fight, you’re the one apologizing and taking all the blame. He manipulates you in a way that makes you doubt your sanity. It distorts your words and thoughts. He makes you feel like a puppet on a string under his command.
How to deal with it: The two people in the relationship should be equals. There’s no way he didn’t do anything wrong. None of you are perfect and you must be able to work out your differences and work through them. But when you’re dealing with a control freak, there’s no equality, and blaming yourself for everything will lead to deeper problems in the future. The best thing you can do here is to leave before it’s too late.
- He doesn’t want to share you with other people.
He showers you with attention, and you have so much TLC and affection with him that it’s too much. He wants all your time and attention but is slowly alienating you from the other important people in your life. Your friends and family are always complaining that they see you less and that you have become distant. You also put all your interests aside because it takes up a lot of your time.
How to deal with it: Don’t distance yourself from people who mean the world to you, you will regret it in the end. Understand that his behavior is not normal. Try to explain that just because you have other people in your life that you care about doesn’t make you care about him less. If he is unwilling to work on his concerns, the best thing you can do is leave him.
