With little effort on their part, toxic adult children can make others miserable with their dysfunctional traits.
What’s worse than naughty children? I think it would be adults who act like children, those who have toxic traits and ruin other people’s lives. And yes, they do. And where does this behavior come from?
Well, these adults obviously got very little or not enough attention as kids. They seem to be stuck forever between the ages of 5 and 7 emotionally. Although they may be smart, they are also cunning and manipulative, to name a few. And I in no way blame the parents. Sometimes imbalances come from other areas.
Toxic adult children are common
There are ways to get to know these individuals. Their traits are so outrageous, they literally turn others away. In fact, some of these adult children are easily recognizable, and you can avoid them.
However, there are few that can hide their toxic traits for years, long after they’ve started a serious relationship. This is the most unfortunate part of all.
So, let’s take a look at some of the signs to help us identify it. Because frankly, we’d either steer clear of them or help them out in a cautious situation.
- Physical health problems
Adults with childlike feelings often develop serious health problems either early in adulthood or later in life. As much as their toxic behavior affects us, it affects them, too. You see, it’s hard to function as an adult who has adult responsibilities but who nonetheless reacts to childlike feelings. It just didn’t fit. The children’s child-like habits, mostly diet, are appalling.
This mismatch leads to physical ailments caused by toxic stress, poor eating and low activity levels. This amount of stress on the body leads to an increase in cortisol which hinders a healthy body ratio and leads to weight loss. This type of stress also affects the heart and nervous system.
If child-like feelings flare up within an adult situation, the stress can be overwhelming for both the adult child and its victim, which is often the parents.
- Severed ties
Of course, toxic adults cannot maintain a normal relationship with another person. At least, it’s not a common success story. Adult pressure from the child’s perspective will see most aspects of the relationship in a perverted way. When it comes to intimacy or communication, these toxic individuals will have little idea how to make their mate happy.
Remember that they think with childlike affection. This is especially true of communication, as these individuals usually refuse to talk about problems, rather throw tantrums or completely ignore their companion. They will sometimes apologize, but that is rare.
- Drug abuse
Not all adult children participate in drug use, but many do. One of the reasons they turn to drugs and alcohol is because they witnessed their parents or another relative do the same. But then again, this can also come from other sources, like childhood friends or just the need to rebel throughout life.
If they experience any kind of abuse that caused the habit, they can become trapped in that moment, reliving the pain and sadness caused by various traumatic situations in the past.
Sometimes the parents may have neglected or mistreated the child without their knowledge. I know that my parents left me at home alone with an elderly grandmother. Needless to say, bad things happened. Adult drug use can be attributed to many of the experiences of children.
- Gaslighting and blaming
Toxic adult children will never find themselves at fault, at least most of the time. If you’re trying to deal with someone who never takes blame or tries to make you mad, you’re probably dealing with a grown child. You see, children often run away from responsibilities and often blame other children.
Most of us come out of this phase and learn to appreciate healthy traits, but some grow up to plague their parents and loved ones with these terrible acts. The adult child, being stuck in that moment when something has affected him greatly or stuck in egoism, rarely learns to be a productive member of society, in terms of getting along with others.
- You’ll notice patterns and switch roles
Adults and children influence each other. Toxic behavior can easily spread from parent to child and vice versa. If a child only grows into an adult child, sometimes their offspring will grow up in the same pattern of behavior as their children, putting additional pressure on the grandparents.
On the other hand, these grandchildren may also evade these traits and become the father of the family. You see, someone has to take on the responsibilities and if the parent or the adult child doesn’t, the real child will have to give up childhood to take over. It’s a sad situation. Oftentimes, grandchildren see their grandparents as their true parents because of the stability they often provide.
Do big kids grow up?
Parents, if you want to understand how to treat your adult children, you have to make some considerations.
Be confident: Adult children tend to have lower levels of confidence in their own actions. Stand firm when handling them.
Don’t do it alone: Seek professional help when dealing with your adult children. These toxic traits run deep.
Be gentle but strong: Sometimes tough love is needed, just make sure they know you love them.
Get an education! Read as much material as possible about this strange personality disorder. Learn and apply what you learn.
Although it’s usually a grim prognosis, some adult children eventually get a little older. They may not become the outstanding citizens they should have been, but they can become better equipped to raise their children and establish relationships. The toxic behavior of child-like adults is hard to overcome, but it can happen.
If this is something you’re going through, don’t give up. I’ve seen people change, but I’ve also seen them take a long time to do so. The keys here, I believe, are educating yourself on the subject and patience. I wish you the best.
