Psychologists agree that most adult behaviors are linked to childhood experiences. While many of us have been fortunate enough to enjoy happy, nurturing parents, others have not. Being neglected or abused in childhood can lead to harmful effects on adults.
These internal childhood wounds negatively affect us in adulthood. However, learning how to spot the signs is the first step toward healing ourselves.
I want to explore the signs and causes behind children’s internal wounds in this article.
Carl Jung and the wounded inner child
Carl Jung coined the term “inner child,” believing that it included childhood experiences that determine adult behavior. Children who have attentive and caring parents will have a balanced inner child.
Suffering from physical, sexual, emotional, or psychological abuse, neglect, or witnessing violence can end up with a child wounded inside. So, how do you know if your inner child is hurt?
5 Signs of a child’s internal wounds
You are normalizing abusive behavior
You are using aggression as a solution
You are using maladaptive coping strategies
You feel worthless
Your mental and physical health suffers
Let’s examine these signs of a wounded inner child in more detail.
- You are normalizing abusive behavior
You become the abuser
Not every child who witnesses or experiences abuse will experience abuse as an adult. However, research suggests that adults who were abused as children are most at risk of abusing their children. In one study, it was estimated that one-third of abused children continue this pattern of maltreatment.
For example, some children witness domestic violence to control or end conflict. This teaches young children that abusive behavior patterns are normal. As an adult, you can use manipulation techniques such as gaslighting or coercive control.
You are attracted to abusive relationships
Studies in Australia show that childhood sexual abuse is a reliable predictor of intimate partner abuse. Girls who were abused during childhood are more likely to be abused again during adulthood.
The International Violence Against Women Survey (IVAWS) in Australia found that 72% of women who were abused in childhood were also abused as adults.
- You use aggression as a solution
You are prone to aggression
Children learn from their environment and imitate their caregivers. Studies show that men with a history of domestic violence are associated with witnessing domestic violence as children, even if they did not experience physical violence themselves.
You have a criminal background
Furthermore, research suggests that male survivors who have witnessed and experienced physical domestic violence are associated with higher levels of violence and criminal activity.
- Uses maladaptive coping strategies
You have an eating disorder
Research shows that children who are abused are twice as likely to have internal injuries due to obesity. There are strong links between sexual and physical abuse, body dissatisfaction and obesity in middle-aged women.
In 1985, the chief physician at Kaiser Permanente’s Department of Preventive Medicine in San Diego, Dr. Vincent Feletti, accidentally discovered a link between childhood sexual abuse and obesity. He could not understand why 50% of his obese patients left his clinic.
After interviews, it was discovered that the majority had been sexually abused as children. They were using their weight as a safety mechanism.
“Being overweight is overlooked, and that’s the way I should be.” Excerpt from Dr. Feletti’s interviews.
Other studies suggest that adults who experience sexual neglect or abuse are five times more likely to suffer from an eating disorder or develop maladaptive coping strategies.
You have addiction problems
Speaking of maladaptive coping strategies, many studies show a strong link between childhood abuse and substance abuse in adults. Survivors of child abuse can self-medicate to soothe their child’s internal wounds or release traumatic memories.
Research from the US Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACE) Study also shows that adults who describe themselves as alcoholics, drug addicts, or substance abusers typically have experienced multiple adverse incidents in childhood.
- You feel worthless
You have suicidal tendencies
The ACE study itself suggests strong links between adverse childhood experiences and increased suicide attempts. Adult survivors of four or more adverse events are 12 times more likely to attempt suicide.
Neglected children can face abandonment issues as adults. They may feel as if they are not good enough, or that their opinion does not matter.
You are engaging in risky sexual behavior
Engaging in risky sexual behavior leads to all kinds of harmful outcomes. Increased incidence of sexually transmitted diseases, high frequency of unwanted pregnancies, and even prostitution.
A child who is being sexually abused may find it difficult to refuse unwanted advances. Or they may view sex as a tool to gain love and affection.
- Your mental and physical health suffers
You have poor mental health
It is perhaps not surprising to learn that adults with childhood internal wounds are vulnerable to poor mental health. Mental health problems range from post-traumatic stress disorder, depression, anxiety, dissociative or personality disorders and even psychosis.
Children who are regularly exposed to violence at home can become anxious or prone to stress. They often have trust issues that lead to an excessive need for validation or interdependence.
In other studies, researchers have found links between historical child abuse and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder. The prevalence of ADHD is important. Reports also show that criminally incarcerated people have increased levels of ADHD.
You suffer from poor physical health
While a decline in good mental health is not surprising, experiencing child abuse also leads to a variety of physical health problems. These include high blood pressure, liver problems, heart disease, strokes, arthritis, headaches and even diabetes.
These studies are clear; Adults who experienced childhood abuse have more physical health problems than those who did not.
