People with narcissistic personality disorder have a toolkit full of tactics that they use on a daily basis. The subtle, multifaceted intimidation of their paraphernalia.
I think I could write about 15 books on narcissistic personality disorder. I experienced a lot of symptoms, cheated, and then learned the hard way how to defend myself against these symptoms.
You think you’ve figured them out, then you turn a corner and come across another strange statement or verb that startles you. It’s as if you’ve run a thump into a brick wall out of confusion.
Indications of hidden intimidation
You see, the narcissist uses obvious tactics like manipulation and overt abuse, but they also use these little scare moves that can catch you off guard if you’re not careful.
So here are some signs that you are being “played” and you just don’t know it yet. And I bet they made you scared, too.
- Projection
I’ve talked about projection before because narcissists use it a lot. Pathologically false narcissists use this type of tactic to defend themselves against confrontations.
Suppose you confront your narcissistic husband with his constant lies, and he says,
“I’m not lying. I’m not lying. You just don’t trust me, and you never will.”
Well, have you ever heard of this mess? I know I have.
The reason it can be scary is because you can’t get out of the loop with them. They will never be honest when you confront them unless you have proof of course. And if you show them the proof, it won’t be so subtle anymore. They are most likely on their way to flying rage.
This means that they are trapped, and no form of narcissistic protection can help them. All they can do is get angry. Scare enough for you?
- Manipulation
While some people are controlling, some set boundaries according to what they believe in. There are just things that people will not tolerate. Anyone has the right to set boundaries and offer the other person to be around or not.
Therefore, if a narcissist chooses to be around you even though they don’t like or respect your boundaries, they will try to change or get rid of those boundaries. When you say no, and put your foot down, they will invite you to take over.
I remember telling a narcissist that if he didn’t like my boundaries, he didn’t need to be around me. He insisted he wanted to be with me, but I was controlling.
You see, they change your standards and stick to you like glue, draining you all the time. Sometimes you should peel them free. All of this manipulation used to break boundaries can be very intimidating.
- Cultivate paranoia
Pay close attention to the ways your narcissistic friend talks. Can you hear the threats behind his simple words? You see, those who use subtle intimidation try to fuel their paranoia by talking about what you might lose if you cut off contact with them.
This is especially prevalent with married couples. A wife may threaten to prevent you from seeing your children if you get a divorce, but she won’t come out and say it that way. maybe you will say,
“It’s a shame. The children will suffer the most. They may not be able to see one parent as the other.”
That, my friend, is a veiled threat. watch out!
- Triangulation
We’ve talked about this before, too. I really hate triangulation because it works so well for narcissists.
You see, those who suffer from narcissistic personality disorders can put this bland personality on other members of your family. You might have a girlfriend who is fairly good at hiding who she really is, and then shows you the beast when you’re alone.
For example, the way you do it is to become your sister’s friend, make your sister love her, give her gifts, try to bond with her, and even discuss your personal life with her. At some point, you made your sister think negative things about you and positive things about her, narcissism.
It’s scary because if you’re the only one who knows the truth, your entire family might turn against you. After all, she manipulated them, and she’s lying.
- Fake empathy
While all of these things may sound scary, there is nothing quite as scary as fake empathy. Empathy is when you feel for others, and even relate to their pain.
A person without empathy, due to narcissistic personality disorder, can sometimes fake feelings. They can pretend to be happy for you, or pretend to feel bad for what they did, but it’s not real.
The only real thing is their happiness or regret. This is questionable. I know someone I’ve never seen cry. I have known them for 6 years.
Not being able to feel emotion during an obviously emotional time is scary for real people. Because without feelings, you can never know what they will do next.
Secret intimidation is scary
This type of abuse may be one of the most horrific in my opinion. Yes, being spanked by a spouse is honestly terrifying, don’t get me wrong.
What I’m saying is, with subtle intimidation, there may come a time when you get hit on by your spouse. The narcissist can also be physically violent, and it usually gets worse over time, starting with abusive mental tactics.
You see, when they realize their mental tools aren’t working against you, they can get physical. So always be careful.
