the main points
A situational narcissist is a person who at one time acted reasonably and diplomatically but developed a selfish complex.
Situational narcissism can occur in a person who attains a real or perceived high status and then believes that he or she is “above others.”
Situational narcissists may show their “ugly” side to those they consider inferior but be friendly with those in their exclusive peer group.
“It’s not easy being superior to everyone I know.” – unknown
“Success has gone to his head.” – A common saying
“The true arrogant never rests; there is always a higher goal to be achieved, and by the same token, there are always more and more people to look down upon.” —Russell Lenz
Acquired situational narcissism (ASN) can be defined as someone exhibiting narcissistic behavior after becoming successful or famous.
Typically, a situational narcissist is someone who at one time acted reasonably and diplomatically but developed a selfish complex as a result of gaining some measure of achievement, fame, wealth, or other forms of external success.(1)(2)
Situational narcissism can occur in almost any arena of life. It changes a person after an individual attains high status (real or perceived), instilling a sense of superiority, entitlement, and privilege. The narcissist believes that he is now “above others,” at least within his personal and/or professional circles.
Here are some examples of this:
A colleague who receives recognition or promotion becomes more selfish.
An individual who is accepted into an elite school or organization becomes arrogant and entitled.
A person who dates or marries a “trophy partner” takes pride in his high status, evoking an air of superiority over his peers, while basking in the mirrored glory of the partner.
An athlete who is considered the “star” on the team is a braggart and arrogant person.
A person who becomes independently wealthy shows contempt for those of the lower socioeconomic class and is rude toward the “little people.”
An attention-seeking public figure who becomes paranoid after gaining a degree of popularity and/or notoriety.
Here are five signs of a situational narcissist, with references from my book How to Deal with Narcissists Successfully. It is important to note that many successful people do not exhibit (or exhibit relatively little of) the following characteristics. However, situational narcissists are likely to possess at least several of the following traits, while remaining largely oblivious to, or unconcerned with, how their behavior affects others.
- Superiority complex
One of the most common signs of a situational narcissist is that after achieving his high status, he begins to feel, act, and talk as if he is superior to others. They are not shy about discussing or bragging about their new-found success and may begin to look down on or talk down to those they consider inferior or less accomplished.
- Different faces for different people
While situational narcissists may show their “ugly” side to those they consider inferior, they are often friendly, generous, and kind to those who are part of their exclusive peer group, and are particularly drawn toward higher-status individuals. condition. Instead of treating people as human beings regardless of their background, relationships are defined based on status awareness and social comparison.
- View others as superior or inferior, but rarely as equals
For some situational narcissists, professional, social, and even familial relationships are determined on the basis of perceived social class. Factors such as wealth, education, social status, professional status, exclusive membership, socialization/cultivation, nationality, and ethnic background determine how someone is treated. For some situational narcissists, people are either superior or inferior, but rarely equal. They embody what it means to be “arrogant.”
“The true definition of an arrogant man is one who yearns for what divides men rather than what unites them.” – John Buchan
- Entitlement
Situational narcissists usually expect “special treatment” because of their high status. At work, they may feel that they can avoid certain tasks, get extra privileges, and be exempt from certain rules.
At home and in social circles, they may automatically expect others to meet their needs and defer to them. They want you to put them on a pedestal (narcissistic display), even when such actions are clearly unfair and undermine and degrade your value as an individual.
- Transcendent verbal and/or non-verbal expressions
In order to project and maintain a façade of superiority, some of the worst-offended situational narcissists will belittle others to enhance their own power and prestige. They may target specific victims with ridicule, blame, shame, ridicule, and general marginalization.
Nonverbally, they reveal their feelings of superiority through their lack of eye contact, insulting glares, eye rolling, dismissive gestures, groans and sighs, rapid inattention, impolite yawning, and general condescension.
After her promotion, she stopped being friendly. She will stare at you before deciding whether she wants to talk to you or not. – unknown
“Pride will always be the longest distance between two people.” – Source unknown
Most situational narcissists are not bad people, with some obvious exceptions. They still possess common human foibles like self-doubt, insecurity, and incompetence—perhaps more so than most, as they work hard to maintain their superficial, false exterior.
Some situational narcissists, after the initial excitement of their self-success, will eventually revert to their old, fairer selves.
