There are many reasons why two people may be united in sacred matrimony. But there are more reasons why the same people decide to separate and get a divorce.
People have many reasons for wanting to know the reasons for divorce. Perhaps they want to understand why their wives chose to divorce rather than work on their marriage. Maybe they want to know if what they’re going through in their marriage is worth the divorce. Perhaps they are curious as to why people get divorced in general.
Whatever your motivation for researching the reasons why people decide to call it quits, you’ll find both research-based answers along with others that will surprise you below.
The five reasons why people divorce
Researchers interviewed 52 divorced women who received a prevention and relationship enhancement program (PREP) while they were engaged. In 2013, they presented their findings.
Here are the top 5 reasons they discover lead to divorce:
- Non-compliance.
According to research, the number one reason people get divorced is lack of commitment. This means that at least one of the spouses has stopped prioritizing their marriage. When one spouse decides to stop making the daily commitment to a great relationship, misery follows.
For some couples, the breakup happened gradually. They drifted apart until one of them was unwilling to continue living with an unfulfilled marriage.
For others, it was an abrupt change due to negative external influences.
- Infidelity.
One of the negative external influences that can lead to non-commitment is the second major reason researchers have found that couples separate: infidelity.
Disbelief is painful and changes the traitor and the traitor. Some couples use infidelity to create stronger relationships. Others, however, find the betrayal of infidelity and/or the attempt to repair their relationship extremely traumatic and choose divorce instead.
- Too much conflict.
More than half of the individuals interviewed for this research cited a lot of conflict and argument as a major reason for divorce. When spouses have poor communication skills, it is difficult to resolve conflicts calmly and effectively.
When disagreements are left unresolved on a regular basis, it is common for resentment to build up. It is also common for feelings of positive communication and mutual support to diminish. Without effective communication skills, these negative outcomes can turn into a lack of commitment and divorce.
- Married young.
Age is related to the success of the marriage. Data shows that when couples have at least one spouse in their early 20s or younger, they are more likely to get divorced.
Some of the study participants reported that they did not know their future spouse until shortly before marriage. Many of those who got married too young wished they had dated their future spouse for longer either to get a better perspective on the relationship or to make a more rational decision about whom they should marry.
Some of the participants who stated that getting married at a very young age was one of the main reasons for divorce also reported that they were too young to make mature, objective decisions about marriage.
- Financial problems.
Of the study participants who reported that financial problems were a major factor in their divorce, many said it was not the main reason. Instead, financial difficulties added stress and tension within their relationship.
Interestingly, the other participants stated that their financial problems were due to other problems such as health problems, substance abuse, and infidelity.
In all, this study lists 11 reasons for divorce. The others revealed by the study, in order, are substance abuse, domestic violence, health problems, lack of support from the family, religious differences, and little or no premarital education.
It is interesting to note in this study that it was conducted after the divorce was final and that these reasons for divorce were usually the deeper causes and not necessarily the last straw that prompted one of the spouses to file for divorce.
But these are not the only reasons for the couple’s divorce. There are all kinds of strange, sad, and scary circumstances that can play a role in the decision to quit.
5 Real and unusual reasons for divorce
In Italy, a 99-year-old man divorced his 96-year-old wife after 77 years of marriage because he discovered an affair she had in the 1940s.
In 2007, a Bosnian couple filed for divorce after discovering they were in an online relationship with each other.
A German woman has divorced her style-obsessed husband after 15 years of marriage because he rebuilt a wall in their home simply because it was dingy.
A Nigerian woman divorced her husband because of too much talk and not keeping family secrets.
An American woman divorced her husband for hiring a hitman to kill her. (Yes, despite his best attempt, the killer didn’t succeed.)
Regardless of the motive for wanting to know the reasons for divorce, these two very different lists point to something very important. People call all causes – big and small. Some of the reasons are very logical and others leave you shaking your head.
