Pathological envy is one of the main features of narcissistic personality disorder.
Every narcissist is jealous of his partner and everyone around him, but at the same time, he believes that everyone is jealous of him too.
This is the crux of the whole problem.
If you are dating a man like this, you have been disrespected and sabotaged.
No matter how great your success was, your narcissist gave it no meaning at all, or worse, convinced you that you had done nothing extraordinary or praiseworthy.
Narcissists crave power, which is one of the reasons they mistreat their victims.
They need to be better than everyone else, so when someone shows up who has accomplished something, they feel threatened.
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That’s when the envy starts.
The ironic thing is that narcissists choose special victims – people who have something unique about them.
But at the same time, they hate this special thing they have and are jealous of them, so they will take any opportunity to belittle and belittle them.
Every narcissist is their person, they need to feel superior to everyone else.
This need causes pathological envy, and if this envy is not arranged from the beginning, it will kill your relationship, because the narcissist does not know when enough is enough or when to stop his behavior.
They use you and drain you until there is nothing left to drain.
If you see your friend engaging in some of these five behaviors, he is a pathologically envious narcissist:
- He cannot acknowledge someone else’s success
Instead of congratulating you, he will find a way to belittle your success. It’s his job to make you feel bad and think you’re not good enough.
His pathological envy will do anything to make you feel like worthless crap. The plan is to make you give up everything; His goal is to make sure you are unable to do anything so you don’t even try.
People who genuinely care about you would never do something like this. On the contrary, they will make a huge deal out of something insignificant you did.
They will do this to make you feel better and encourage you to keep trying and working hard.
Narcissistic envy leaves victims broken and filled with shame. The one thing the victim has learned is that everything they do is not worthy of praise.
After some time passed, they started to believe that they didn’t deserve any kind of recognition anyway.
- He has an insatiable need for attention
The narcissist will not allow his victim to remain center stage.
If the victim accomplishes something and gets praise, the narcissist will take away that praise by talking about his accomplishments and pushing his victim back.
They feel like the victim is stealing the praise they deserve.
Either they’ll say something mean to you disguised as a compliment – and everyone will hear it as a compliment, except you, because you know them better than anyone else – or they’ll just change the subject.
Just because…well, because you’re not important.
The main goal is to humiliate the victim in front of many people and somehow convince others to join in his bullying.
All of this, of course, is disguised as a joke at the victim’s expense. The point is that the victim remains silent about his accomplishments after some time.
- He knows how to feel powerful
This is the catch. He doesn’t even have to be more successful or “stronger” than you.
He’ll find a way to make it happen and ignore something successful you did like it’s no big deal – like you did something anyone could do.
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In situations where he feels threatened by you and your power, he will make himself more powerful by looking down on you for no specific reason, yet he will treat it as something normal.
- He only thinks about you a little
It will diminish all your success as it happens.
Even though you worked hard to achieve something, he will hurt you by saying that you did nothing special and that it all happened because you were lucky.
On the other hand, their success will be described as the result of hard work and dedication.
This is tragic because in every case, it is the opposite.
Narcissists are those who rely on luck and social connections to get ahead. Working hard is something they never do.
- He sets the bar higher and higher
No matter what you do, nothing will ever be good enough. The victim’s trust is a narcissist’s worst nightmare.
This means that he has lost control over you. When this happens, there is a possibility that the victim will realize that they can do better and leave.
To prevent this from happening and to ensure they have an unlimited supply, narcissists will raise their expectations every time you succeed at something.
Nothing will ever be good enough for them. They will always ask more of you than you have already done.
They will always use your fears against you. They will do their best not to let you forget what you feel insecure about.
you are special. You should know this from the moment the narcissist chooses you. That’s why I was his target.
You are capable of doing things he could never do. He wants to feed off your success and give himself credit for the same success.
It is not your fault that you were abused. There was something unique about you that attracted him to you.
Next time, he will draw the right person – the one you deserve.