Do you always play the savior role in relationships?

Do you like to help others and motivate yourself to see the good in others that can’t be wrong? right? But this compassionate gesture can hurt their good when others feel they can manipulate you, especially to fulfill the role of savior in relationships. Because you tend to gravitate towards helping your partner, in any situation to the point of making excuses for their toxic behavior.

If you are an empathetic person, you will often see the good in people. Even though you’ve been burned before, you’re so willing to put the past behind you because you think people will either change or be different from the last relationship you were in.

While this is a pretty good perspective, what often happens is that you end up playing the role of savior in relationships. Instead of letting your partner fend for themselves, you pounce on them. You are the rescuer, caretaker, and fixer.

You are sympathetic, yes, but to a fault sometimes.

You don’t have to live this way. If you recognize the signs early, you can avoid becoming the one doing all the work. Alternatively, you could fall in love with someone who wants to meet you halfway and be the person by your side, rather than the person you have to hold.

Read : The Empath and The Narcissist: The Brutal Reality Of Their Toxic Relationship

Here are 5 signs you’ll end up playing the savior in relationships (and how to stop this before it starts):

1. You are very quick to say “yes” to any request.
   Lifesaver in relationships
   One of the main reasons you’re a lifesaver in relationships is because you have a “yes” problem. When someone asks you to do something, or something falls on your lap, you jump at the chance.

Instead of thinking about whether you even can complete the task, or thinking about whether or not it is possible with the time and schedule, you commit. This makes people depend on you more than they should.

2. You do not create clear boundaries.
   You have a big heart, and sometimes it’s too big for the fact that you would sacrifice yourself to help someone. What you often lack in your relationships are boundaries. This goes beyond saying “no” to things you don’t agree with – it’s about setting limits on what you can and cannot handle, or what you can and cannot do.

Borders are not wrong. They are quite healthy. And if you realize that you haven’t set things straight, or pushed the line to put someone else’s needs first, that’s a clear sign that you’re going to end up being the one with the burden.

3. You tend to be tender about your commitments, beliefs, or viewpoints.
   If you are not ready for what you think, believe, and want to do, you will end up changing your mind. While changing your mind or convincing you to think in a new way isn’t necessarily bad, it becomes healthy if you’re losing yourself in the process.

You will end up being the savior in your relationships if you are not clear about what you want or believe in. Since you will not prove yourself (to others and most importantly, to yourself) you will completely lose yourself in communication.

4. You want to be in control of the situation, even when it doesn’t belong to you.
   A sure sign that you are going to play the savior in your relationships is when you are always the one in charge. When a situation breaks down, you are the first person to step in. And when things don’t go right, you’re the one who takes it all on yourself.

Not only does this make you feel empty and overwhelmed, but it teaches others that they don’t have to take responsibility for what they do — you will.

Read : Break Free From Toxicity: 5 Signs It’s Time To Let Go Of A Relationship

5. You’ve found yourself saying, “I can do this,” or “I’ve got this,” instead of properly delegating the burden.
   Delegation is not your strong suit.

You’d rather do everything yourself than rely on someone else. But it makes people lose their sense of leadership and it all falls on you – a sure sign that you’ll end up being the tinkerer when everything falls apart.

Here’s how to avoid becoming a “savior”:

If you don’t want to end up being the lifesaver, it’s all about setting your standards from the start. Communicate your wants, needs, and ideas before fully committing to a relationship. Be transparent about what’s important to you and make sure the person you’re falling for can carry their weight.

While you don’t have to hold people at arm’s length, you should be articulate and confident. It’s not wrong to care about people, but you don’t have to save them, fix them, or save them. They can do it for themselves.