Why do so many people ignore narcissistic red flags, even those who know the true nature of narcissists? What is the real raw truth behind putting up with horrible people like them?
Most of us have subconsciously ignored the red flags of narcissism which is why we end up here – searching for resources to help us out. I was there. I now know what the red flags are so I can make sure to acknowledge them and run away the next time a narcissist comes my way.
Once we become aware of red flags, we become responsible for what we do with them. All narcissistic relationships start with a love bombardment, so red flags can seem incredibly subtle and/or easy to ignore once they start popping up.
It is important to understand why you might be ignoring the red flags so that if God forbid you are in a situation with a narcissist again, you can be in a better place to run when the red flags start to pop up.
Related: 23 Signs You’re Suffering From a Victim Mentality And How To Deal With It
Here are 5 reasons why you might choose to ignore the red flags of narcissism
- You’re already in it.
I think one of the main reasons people ignore narcissistic red flags is because they’re already deep in the relationship. People often feel that there is a lot to lose or a lot to risk if he or she were to get out of the relationship.
Perhaps someone has already started cohabiting with their narcissistic partner. Others may already have children. A business partnership may have been formed or joint assets may be in play.
This, I think, is one of the biggest reasons people ignore narcissistic red flags. Fear of losing security, children, one’s assets can cause a lot of anxiety to admit.
- You hope it’s just a coincidence.
Another reason or justification for ignoring red flags is the belief or hope that the narcissistic behavior is just a coincidence or a one-time thing. It may be easier to blame the behavior during difficult times or even the self.
One might ask themselves if they are reading the wrong things or being paranoid – especially if the narcissistic devaluation starts working for the narcissist (you start questioning yourself/your reality/judgment).
Minimizing the behavior can be much easier in the moment; However, it will be fatal in the long run.
Related: The Victim’s Cloak: How The 3 Kinds Of Narcissists Wield It
- Love bombing
Every narcissistic relationship begins with a love bombardment. Narcissists like to specifically blow up their targets so that their other negative behaviors are more easily ignored. It’s easy to remember love bombing and all the sweet and wonderful things they did and said. People may ignore red flags to cling on to these fleeting moments that consist of love bombing.
They may seem great in every way except for the ways in which they devalue you. It may be subconsciously worth the narcissist’s victim to endure the devaluation in order to receive the love bombardment. If this is you, remember what love pounding is and that it will decrease in frequency over time.
- You are an empath.
Another big reason people ignore narcissistic red flags is empathy for the narcissist. Perhaps the narcissist revealed to his partner about his traumatic childhood or other things that put him in the role of the victim. This can make the empath willing to ignore red flags so they can love back the narcissist to help them, support them, or be there for them in any way.
If you are an empath, it is important to remember that you can only help others if you prioritize your own.
Related: Why The Narcissist Who Abused You Now Claims To Be Your Victim
- It’s comfortable.
Another reason people may ignore red flags is the level of comfort that being in a toxic relationship brings. Even if they know the relationship is toxic, it may be normal for them. It’s kind of like wearing an old pair of sneakers. They are comfortable, but not the best.
