What is the other side of the regression relationship?
An intimate romantic connection requires a huge amount of emotional investment, lots of moments of togetherness, and a whole journey of ups and downs.
The two people involved are so intertwined with each other emotionally, physically, and otherwise that for some, the breakup may feel like having to stifle a part of themselves.
A relationship becomes more difficult to resolve when it is not mutual.
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Seeing someone else walk out of your life without closure can leave you feeling hurt, shame, anger, guilt, and complete devastation — making you doubt your self-worth.
After a breakup, a person always experiences complex emotional stress and loneliness.
In the aftermath of this heartbreak, we immediately and instantly feel the urge to jump into another relationship.
We seem to become so consumed with the urge to find and replace what we have lost that we unwittingly engage in regression.
A rebound relationship, as defined by researchers Brumbaugh and Fraley, is “a relationship that begins shortly after a romantic breakup—before feelings related to the previous relationship have been resolved.”
After a breakup, a person becomes psychologically unable to make rational decisions and thus reduces his or her choices in partners.
Hence, it is understandable that a rebound partner is usually viewed as a transitional companion or a stepping stone on the path to a more legitimate relationship.
In other cases, the fear of being alone without a partner is what drives a person to search for a new love story in the arms of another person.
The seductive attraction, heat of passion, and intoxicating euphoria may seem like a dream as you begin to fall in love with this new person, but soon, things will turn upside down.
In general, a fast-paced relationship will end very soon.
Rebound relationships are thought to have a calming effect, but instead, they will ultimately torment the soul.
Here are five reasons why a rebound relationship is convincingly destructive.
- You enter the relationship unsure of your feelings
A rebound relationship is a recipe for chaos.
You meet someone and immediately begin to feel the heat of attraction rising, especially because you’ve recently touched your heart.
It feels like the perfect displacement of all your invested feelings toward your ex.
Everything about this new person is amazing – the way he makes you feel, the way he communicates with you, the way he cares.
All their actions are like a balm for your broken heart.
You are so blind in “love” that you judge them only based on their ability to meet your needs and desires and not their true character.
You’re sure how his actions affect you, but you have no idea how exactly you feel about this person.
You like what they do for you, but you’re not at all ready to invest in them emotionally.
This in itself seems to you a bitter truth.
You are completely confused about how you feel and keep oscillating from being extremely interested to completely indifferent to the other person.
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- You end up hurting your new partner’s feelings
Let’s say your partner has planned to have dinner with you and you’re both sitting in a well-furnished restaurant, feeling very excited about the night ahead.
Suddenly, out of the blue, your partner mentions how he and his ex had a similar meal at the same restaurant you were both sitting at at the time.
How would you feel?
You will undoubtedly feel like an idiot.
If you are indecisive about your feelings, you will subconsciously end up bringing your ex between you, which is unhealthy for your new relationship.
In such circumstances, it is normal for your partner to feel insecure, jealous, worthless, helpless, and lost in the relationship.
Just as you want to feel special, he also deserves your full attention and love.
If you carry unresolved conflicts from your previous relationship, you will always be frosty with your new partner, which is unjustified from your partner’s perspective.
Your residual feelings from the previous relationship will hold you back from committing to your new partner.
- You are at greater risk of manipulation and exploitation
Heartbreak leaves us vulnerable to resilience.
We feel lost, aimless, and unable to control ourselves and our lives.
We become more likely to make rash decisions when we are not emotionally stable.
Before you start dating again after a breakup, you need to free yourself from the burdens of the past.
Rebound relationships are so fast and captivating that we lose our sense of rationality.
This puts you at greater risk of being manipulated by people who will take advantage of your tendency to communicate and engage in sex and other reckless relationship decisions because they know you are willing to do anything to secure a partner.
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- Temporary solutions to larger issues
Rebound relationships hardly turn into long-term relationships.
They finish as quickly as they start.
These relationships are temporary fillers for the void you feel after someone you love leaves you.
Another typical characteristic of rebound relationships is that they are highly toxic and come with several red flags.
A person seeking a rebound relationship will be obsessed with the new partner, and may have trust issues, and insecurities stemming from feelings of isolation from the previous relationship.
This will ultimately turn the relationship into a toxic one, leaving no room for true intimacy to grow.
Give yourself some time to heal your wounds before engaging with another dynamic person.
- It makes you highly vulnerable to narcissistic abuse
Narcissists are control freaks, and they try in every possible way to feed on your submission.
Narcissists enjoy manipulating their victims’ emotions.
Emotional individuals are perfect material for narcissists to work on their malicious artistic skills.
All they have to do is manipulate their target’s desire to find a meaningful relationship.
Who better to make a surrogate victim for a narcissist than someone who is desperately searching for a romantic partner?
You can never truly understand when you’ve fallen into a love-bombing spree.
The moment you trust the narcissist to heal you with his undying love and devotion, your emotional distress becomes an easy subject for his abuse.
A rebound relationship may seem like a great start to staying together forever, but remember not to let loneliness push you into the arms of someone you don’t belong with.
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