Being strong is not as easy as it seems. Strong women tend to forget that they can be vulnerable too, which is why they get into the habit of giving a lot to people who are unwilling or unable to give anything back.
A strong woman is independent, confident, emotionally intelligent, self-aware, and knows she has a lot to offer. But it is no less human for that. She can easily be blinded by love, so the people she cares about often take advantage of her strong and kind nature.
There are a few reasons why strong women sometimes end up in difficult and painful relationships, despite all their toughness, or rather, because of it:
- Being a strong woman does not mean that you are protected from all the toxic and narcissistic people.
This means they are more powerful for you. Toxic people need people with emotional intelligence, confidence, toughness, and inner strength, so they can drain them. They rely on the compassionate heart of a person who will always help them and be there for them. Toxic people and narcissists have everything to gain from strong women but nothing to offer. - Past traumas can resurface while they are in the relationship.
They were born strong and life made them stronger. Strong women usually go through a lot of difficulties and hardships in life. They are very good at being alone and getting into a relationship can turn their world upside down. Psychologists also point out that they may have experienced significant trauma, and often encounter partners who inflict that trauma. In a way, this is their way of confronting their past. - They are used to being the ones who give more and receive almost nothing.
They are used to giving until they have nothing left, which is why they attract people in need – those who have no problem taking all the love, understanding and support without giving anything in return. This happens because they are accustomed to independence, accustomed to taking care of themselves, so they do not see the lack of reciprocity until they are emotionally drained.
- They believe they can influence or change the person they love.
They stay in bad relationships too long because they feel they have the power to change someone. Their compassionate nature makes them believe that they need to commit to whatever difficulty they may face in order to help the person they care about. They can waste a lot of time until they realize that they cannot change anyone or influence someone who does not want change in their life. - They unconsciously choose more challenging and difficult relationships.
Whether they realize it or not, they tend to find “normal” relationships boring. They love a challenge, some kind of project to fix someone or fix the relationship they are in. They fail to realize that not everyone wants to help them and that there are people who are inherently toxic and beyond repair. The bad thing for strong women here is that they are so focused on the other person that they lose sight of themselves. They put all their effort into it and ended up in a one-sided relationship.
In order to overcome difficult relationships, these strong women have to stop carrying that tough exterior all the time and allow themselves to be vulnerable. Sadness and hardship are an inevitable part of anyone’s life and this is something they must accept. They’re prone to putting up walls after a bad experience, and while that may help in the short term, it pushes good people (who deserve a strong woman’s attention) away from them in the long term.
They have to stop thinking that the weight of the world is on their shoulders and that it is their duty to fix everything. They’re not people who have to put up with everything all the time just because they can handle it. They can’t be the ones offering more all the time. They need a partner who helps them find the balance between being strong and relying on someone else sometimes.
