Do you need to know everything?

In that case, you probably need to know everything, and whatever you do with that information is entirely up to you.

Narcissists may be upset with you without you even realizing it, and this causes them indescribable pain.

You’ve always thought it would be a good idea to know what you’re doing that hurts them, so what do you do with that information?

Well, that’s up to you!

Decode The Pain

When you’re hurting, you’ll often cry, talk about what’s happening, and strive to feel better over time.

In life, pain is inevitable. We feel it when we lose people we love, or when someone we care deeply hurts us.

Related : The Top 10 Things Narcissists Can’t Tolerate

We feel pain if we witness pain, or if we go through a difficult situation. Whatever the pain, it’s a part of life.

Narcissists are still capable of feeling pain, but it feels very different from the pain we might experience.

For them, pain can develop into:

Anger.

Jealousy. Ignoring.

Anger.

Apathy.

At this point, I feel like you’re nodding your head in agreement and knowing exactly what I’m talking about, because you recognize the same feelings in the narcissist you’re experiencing.

You’ve experienced it yourself, and you’re probably wondering why it manifests in them.

1 You Exist Without the Need for Their Approval

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to just exist, without wanting to please anyone or feeling needed?

And don’t get me wrong, there’s a fine line between not caring and not caring about what people think.

Maintaining this balance is crucial—you need to be considerate of others’ feelings without giving too much or too little in return.

But my most important advice is to be yourself.

Your need for approval may stem from a past that hasn’t worked. Searching for ways to get your parents’ attention or love can be difficult.

Anything you do can give you the nod you need to know they care—even if just for a short time.

Eliminating this behavior is difficult, but not impossible. When you do, you can live without asking for their approval.

Will it hurt?

Yes.

But so what?

2 Stay Calm When They Try to Trick You

I’ll start this with a quote you’ll never forget:

Staying calm works wonders.

I know this may seem a bit obvious, but dig deeper.

Related : Essential Tips for Dealing with Narcissists

What does the narcissist want from you? They want you to break, crumble, and shatter. And when they do, they win. They see you upset, maybe yell back, or maybe cry constantly.

What happens if you stay calm?

You’re balanced. You feel at ease. Your body physiologically thanks you for it, too.

When your emotions are thrown into space, where do they go? I’d say you feel:

• Stress.
• Anxiety.
• Depression.
• Your heart is racing.
• Your chest is rising and falling with every second.
• Palpitations.
• Tears are streaming down your spine.

The narcissist brings out the worst in you. And you feel it. And if you’re being honest, their short- and long-term impact on you may be different.

So what do you do?

You stay calm.

It’s a way to completely cut off your connection with the narcissist, without giving them anything. You become the one who stays well and stays well.

This isn’t what the narcissist wants, but it should be what you want.

We all know it’s what you deserve.

It can be difficult to ignore triggers, but with time and practice, you can learn not to trigger them when the narcissist pricks them.

3 Show Genuine Empathy—Something They Lack

It’s strange how empathy can be a natural trait for some, while meaningless to others.

Those who carry high levels of it are more likely to be targeted by narcissists, who see it only as a source of supply.

Related : How to Heal After Discovering Your Life with a Narcissist Was a Lie

It’s a pain for the narcissist to learn or act out during moments of empathy.

They have to watch others mirror their grief because they simply don’t have the tools to express their own emotions.

What’s even stranger is that your empathy—or any empathy at all—actually hurts them.

Can you imagine living a life where you feel emotionally disintegrated because of a good person?

I’ll tell you why this happens.

It happens because the narcissist sees the appreciation you get for being a good person, and the reputation that goes with it.

People trust you to support them in times of need without asking for anything in return.

It’s painful for the narcissist, who works day and night to get a shred of attention.

And you don’t mean anything by it. You don’t see the attention; you’re just a good person doing what you do.

This is what hurts the narcissist more than anything else.

4 Your Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is quiet. It’s not loud because it doesn’t have to be. It’s a quality in people; you sit, work, live, and breathe without effort or the thought that someone like the narcissist could erase it.

Your self-confidence gets you what you want in the most subtle ways. It gives you the opportunity to strive for success, feel comfortable in yourself, and love yourself without compromise.

If this kind of true confidence existed in everyone, narcissists wouldn’t exist.

They wouldn’t really exist, because we would all feel good about what we do, without the anxiety of fitting in, or the hidden fears that consume us.

Related : Does Karma Hit Back at the Narcissist

Your self-confidence is your worst asset, according to the narcissist. It’s so strong that none of their manipulative actions can penetrate it. They can’t reach you, and they know it.

It’s a painful realization for them, but it’s also the only thing that reminds them of how much they secretly hate themselves. You turn them on without even trying!

They watch you grow every day, and they even watch you make mistakes and laugh at them because you don’t let any setback hold you back.

Imagine having a light that shines that brightly!

5 You’re Healing (And They Know It)

You’ve been through a tough time and come back. What a tough time, and I bet you’ll wish you could forget most of it.

And over time, you move forward. You heal. No, it may not be linear, but you’re in a different emotional and psychological (and, of course, physical) place than you were.

Narcissists have felt you slipping from their grasp for a while, and with every millimeter you move away, they feel more and more demented.

They know there’s no going back. They’ve lost you forever, and the pain only reminds them of the support they lost.

Healing takes time, but once the journey begins, few people regress and go back to their old lives.

Why would you do that when the future looks so bright?