That toxic person you dated left a mark on you. Maybe it’s not a physical sign, but you’ve changed the way you feel and the way you relate to your new partner.

Could it be post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD)? Can you get PTSD from a relationship?

PTSD occurs in people after they experience or witness life-threatening trauma. Unfortunately, some toxic relationships fall into this category.

Some toxic relationships don’t pose a physical threat. Or at least not life-threatening, but cause profound emotional trauma that affects mental health. It can leave you experiencing symptoms similar to full-blown PTSD.

Related: How can you tell a narcissist is lying to you?

Here are 5 painful signs that your toxic relationship has caused you to have PTSD:

1. You now believe that all relationships are bad

After a toxic relationship, you may find yourself believing that not all men can be trusted or that all women cheat.

Even though you have left your toxic ex and are currently with a wonderful new partner, you can constantly check in with this new partner.

You find yourself accusing them of lying or seeing someone else, even when there is no evidence. Every little thing they do – or don’t do – is evidence that something is wrong in the relationship.

When they do or say something nice, you don’t trust them.

You feel guilty even though you were the victim. Or blame a third party.

After a toxic and painful relationship, you may strangely feel guilt and shame. You tearfully regret “causing” your toxic ex to abuse you or not giving the relationship another chance.

Or you decide that everything is fine until the other man or woman enters the picture. That other person was the homewrecker who seduced your ex as if your toxic ex had no choice in the matter.

2. Reminders of your toxic relationship bring back all the pain

A song that brings you tears. You get upset when your new partner says an innocent phrase that your ex used to say. Emotional and physical intimacy can lead to feelings of panic.

Your new partner’s touch feels like it’s just seduction or exploitation of you. Even if you like the idea of ​​closeness, you’ll end up shying away or gritting your teeth and putting up with it until it’s over.

You avoid places and activities that remind you of your ex.

You may refuse to drive near your old home or avoid your old friends. Familiar situations trigger that “oh no” feeling in your stomach.

You avoid thinking about your ex and feeling the feelings you had with them.

The feelings are so painful that you try to become numb. You may not be aware of any of your feelings anymore.

When you tell the story of your toxic relationship, you don’t feel anything. She says it wasn’t a big deal, and she got over it. When someone asks you what’s wrong, you say, “Nothing.” However, it is clear to others that something is wrong.

Increasing amounts of alcohol or drugs enter your life to drive those feelings away.

Related: People who lack self-esteem often display these 7 behaviors (without realizing it)

3. You seem withdrawn in your relationships

It’s hard to have fun when you refuse to go to places that remind you of your ex and you don’t have many emotions except sadness and anger. Your new partner says you’re not here, even when you are.

You don’t want to trust your new partner, so you don’t open up to him. Emotional and physical closeness and intimacy are out of the question, for fear that if you allow yourself to be vulnerable, you might get hurt again and end up alone.

Maybe you choose pornography over your new partner, just to maintain your emotional well-being.

Asking your new partner for help feels like burdening them with your problems, so you keep it all inside yourself. You don’t want to feel like you need to depend on someone, anyway.

You stop communicating, even about your own needs. So your partner doesn’t know what you need and your needs are not being met.

Your relationship remains on the surface level because developing closeness and intimacy means you have to start feeling.

4. Explodes with anger for no good reason

Tantrums can happen in an instant, and you don’t even know why they happen. Your new partner thinks you’re attacking him, and responds angrily.

Then, you feel the pain and scream anything you can think of that will hurt your partner more. The battle escalates quickly and painfully.

You don’t understand why your new partner, who always seemed so great, is now against you.

Your new partner doesn’t understand why you’re overreacting with more anger and criticism than the situation calls for. You don’t want to admit it, but you secretly wonder if you’re going crazy.

Part of the reason you lash out is to push your new partner away. Or trying to control them so they don’t say or do anything that triggers pain. You just want to avoid that pain.

Related: 13 behaviors of people who have very little self-respect, according to psychology

5. Do your best to avoid triggers

One way you can avoid triggers is to appease your new partner. You swallow your feelings and opinions and go along with what they want, ignoring your own needs.

You do or say whatever it takes to avoid a fight. You apologize when you weren’t wrong just to keep the peace. It’s all a frantic effort to avoid a negative reaction that might remind you of your toxic ex.

Or you can go the other way instead. You may be harsh, complain, demand, and criticize. You strongly control your new partner to try to prevent him from controlling you.

Again, you desperately need to stop them from behaving like your toxic ex.

What to do if you notice these signs of PTSD after a traumatic relationship?

First, pay attention to how you feel when these negative thoughts and feelings arise. How do you feel in your body when this happens? What are the first signs that an explosion is about to happen?

Try to catch it when you first start it up next time. Go into another room and do something relaxing until you calm down. Take a deep breath.

When you’ve calmed down again, sit down and talk openly with your new partner about what you’re going through. Talk to a trusted friend. Supportive people are your best defense against feelings of PTSD.

Your toxic ex may have also cut you off from your support system, so go get those supportive people back into your life.