Let’s explore narcissistic traits in the following clip:
His eldest son was in the field, and when he came and approached the house, he heard music and dancing. 26 Then he called one of the servants and asked him what this meant. 27 Then he said to him, “Your brother has come, and your father has killed the fattened calf because he returned it safely.”
28 Then he became angry and did not want to go in, so his father went out and begged him. 29 Then he answered and said to his father: Look! I have served you for many years and have never neglected your commandment. And yet you never gave me a grandfather to celebrate with my friends; 30 But when this son of yours came, who has consumed your wealth with prostitutes, you killed the fattened calf for him.
31 And he said to him: My son, you have always been with me, and all that I have is yours. 32 But we had to rejoice and be glad because this brother of yours was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.” Luke 15:25-52
I believe that the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son displays several narcissistic traits. Just because Jesus never used the word “narcissist,” doesn’t mean He wasn’t aware of the concept. At first, the entire focus of the story revolves around the selfish younger brother who, frankly, has some narcissistic traits of his own. After all, claiming one’s inheritance before the death of a parent indicates that one would prefer their death.
The stubborn young man wastes his inheritance and innocence. He makes every mistake in the book. Realizing that the pigs live better than him, the prodigal returns home in the hope of forgiveness. His repentance is sincere and his request for forgiveness is sincere. For any parent with a prodigal child, this is a dream come true. The child has been off drugs, out of the club scene, or perhaps just damaged by the consequences of his or her unfortunate choices. The father is relieved and overjoyed, and the son finds that his father’s love is undiminished.
But here comes the older brother and he is not happy with the new development. His reaction reveals his narcissistic traits, whether he is conscious of it or not. So what are the gifts of the dead?
Narcissistic Traits No. 1: Lack of empathy
The older brother does not care about the hardships his brother is going through, and he cannot rejoice with his father. It was extinguished. His inability to enter into the joy of others or even into the suffering of others is a big warning sign.
Narcissists are usually unable to enter into the feelings of others. They prefer the role of puppet master, manipulating other people’s emotions. I discovered that my ex, far from being sympathetic, had intentionally exacerbated my suffering. This is because narcissists have difficulty expressing or even experiencing true emotions. Instead, they create chaotic misery in other narcissistic traits to feed it indirectly. If the younger sibling is present while the older sibling is complaining, this constitutes a deliberate attempt to shame and manipulate the younger sibling. I don’t imagine for a moment that the younger brother was unaware of his older brother’s anger.
2: Entitlement
The older brother will not lose anything by the return of his younger brother. His inheritance is completely secure. He’s dribbling over dinner. The younger brother gets a fattened calf. Why didn’t he even get a baby goat to share with his friends? He sees unfair treatment where there is none. The narcissist’s rallying cry is I was cheated on!
One of the quickest ways to fire a narcissist is to listen to his anger. If they constantly talk about those who stole from them, they may be a narcissist. Their anger at perceived injustice can become extremely obsessive. Poor older brother feels neglected because he is not the center of attention.
Number 3: It spoils every celebration
The older brother refuses to go to the celebration, and invites his father outside, away from the younger son. He throws a tantrum, basically ruining the joy of the party with his ill-mannered scowl. I don’t understand why narcissists are so opposed to other people’s joy, but I have seen holidays and parties ruined by this behavior. The narcissist loves to cause a scene or make a happy situation awkward. After all, unless it’s about them, it’s okay.
No. 4: It’s all about them
I suppose this goes hand in hand with entitlement, but nothing infuriates a narcissist more than glowing interest in another person. If it’s not their thing, just give it some time. They will shift the focus on themselves every time. Even negative attention is better than giving up this position of the center of the universe, even for a short time. Big Brother makes sure everyone knows that he, the good one, is being severely humiliated. After all, it is not a screw. He deserves all the love, all the praise, all the joy.
#5: Disrespect for authority
His narcissistic traits and his treatment of his father are often overlooked. After all, the younger brother took a wayward stance. But the eldest son is also disrespectful. The father pleads with his eldest son. At the very least, he could have respected his father’s wishes. His father was still in power. But the father’s plea to the elder to understand this ceremony shows something of the real relationship here. The younger son has repented of his reckless and disrespectful behavior. The eldest son still challenges his father’s authority with his stance. To learn more about Biblical views on narcissism
Of course, the eldest son is a metaphor for the Pharisees. Jesus says in Matthew 23:13:
13 But woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites, for you shut up the kingdom of heaven from men. For you do not enter in yourselves, nor do you permit those who are entering to enter in.
Narcissistic Pharisees don’t want the kingdom of heaven for themselves, and they certainly don’t want it for anyone else either. The narcissistic traits I mentioned here are very similar to many of the accusations Jesus made against the Pharisees.
The best sermon I ever heard on this subject was called “The Prodigal Father.” The father is certainly extravagant in his love for his two sons. I’ll take smaller over larger any day.
