If you tend to attract toxic companions no matter where you go, it may be because you have some personality traits that contribute to toxic relationships. I fell into a pattern.
Or maybe you’re watching someone you know stuck in a pattern of behavior that continues to attract unhealthy people.
Whether it’s you or a friend, these habits and patterns can be broken with a little insight and thought, making way for true love that lasts a lifetime.
This does not mean that you should blame yourself or the victim for someone else’s terrible treatment, especially since relationships are about the interaction between the two parties.
But it never hurts to pause and think about what role you might be playing, especially if you’re behaving in a somewhat toxic way.
Related: 5 Painful Signs Your Toxic Relationship Gave You PTSD
By being aware of the characteristics and habits that may attract individuals who are not a good fit for you, you will be better prepared to recognize a toxic situation when it occurs and leave if necessary.
Seeing a therapist can help you make this shift because he or she can help you figure out appropriate expectations for the relationship.
Moving forward, you should also consider focusing on improving your self-esteem and empowering yourself to act and behave differently in relationships. Over time, you should be able to change your mindset, break negative behaviors, and attract healthy individuals.
Here are five simple toxic habits that keep you stuck in bad relationships:
- Low self-esteem
When people suffer from low self-esteem, they often believe that they are unable to be loved and cared for by someone. They enter into relationships with individuals who treat them the way they view themselves, whether consciously or unconsciously.
People with low self-esteem often stay in dysfunctional relationships because they believe they don’t deserve better or are unable to attract someone with healthy relationship skills.
However low self-esteem often comes from thinking patterns that can be broken and habits that can be treated.
They may also find themselves behaving badly or unkindly towards others as an unhealthy way to manage their insecurities.
It will be necessary to work on increasing your self-confidence to modify this feature.
- To be loyal to everyone
To make a relationship successful, both parties must be trustworthy and loyal to each other. But there is such a thing as over-loyalty, especially when it means staying in a bad relationship.
Loyalty is a personality trait that, if not managed properly, can lead you wrong. You should be very careful if you form loyalties towards someone quickly or get into the habit of giving people the benefit of the doubt too early.
Often, all you want is for someone to feel that way about you, or to feel comfortable knowing that you’ll never be alone. This may mean staying in dangerous places for much longer than necessary.
- Interdependence
People with codependent personalities are more likely to end up with toxic partners, mainly because they are attracted to partners who “need” them or want to save them. Likewise, the opposite is true.
They often associate with toxic people to get someone to fix them – and they may also be the person in the relationship whose partner feels the need to “fix” them.
Because codependent tendencies can be founded on childhood experiences, it may be helpful to see a therapist to discover what is leading you into these harmful relationships.
Related: 8 Types Of Toxic Relationships To Cut Out Of Your Life Now
- High empathy
This is similar to being too nice because it may lead to getting involved with needy or toxic people. People with a high level of empathy are often sensitive, empathetic, and tolerant.
Toxic people with a history of exploitation, domination, and abuse are more likely to get away with certain actions when their partner has a high level of empathy. However, this trend can be broken.
A person with high empathy may also find that they need to “turn it off” to function in the world, and this too can contribute to toxic relationships.
Both of these are important habits to break.
Empathy is a good quality to have. As a result, the goal here will be to defend it, not to belittle it. If you have a high level of empathy, keep in mind that many people with toxic behavioral patterns view people with high levels of empathy as their ideal spouses.
Consider the following strategies for maintaining empathy: set boundaries, think twice before giving someone the benefit of the doubt, and seek education or a better understanding of some dangerous/manipulative personality types that take advantage of others.
When you have a high level of empathy, these are excellent places to start.
- Lack of self-knowledge
Don’t be surprised if you have difficulty finding a good relationship if you don’t yet understand who you are or what you want. Your husband cannot provide you with what you need unless you are aware of it and ask for it.
Otherwise, you will be left hanging, unsure of how to bring you happiness, which can lead to feelings of dissatisfaction.
The excellent thing is that if you are aware of these characteristics, it is easier to change them.
Although changing your bad habits and behaviors may take time, simply being aware of what you bring to the table is the first step toward developing healthy relationships.
Related: 10 Smart Ways To Avoid Toxic, One-Sided Relationships