Unfortunately, emotionally abusive relationships are all too common. The controlling nature of an abusive partner’s behavior is initially well hidden.
They usually hide it with fake words and grand gestures until one day the mask falls.
It is very likely that your parents and relatives tried to warn you about it, but you did not want to listen.
It’s easier for people outside the relationship to notice red flags, so don’t blame yourself for even a second.
Controlling partners are usually well experienced in their endeavors for the benefit of their victims and will not let you know their true identity until they decide it is time.
The worst part is that they make it seem like they are doing you a favor by behaving this way. They make it seem like some kind of nice gesture that needs to be appreciated, or whatever.
If you have experience with an emotionally abusive and/or controlling partner, you will recognize the following ways in which they deceive their victims.
And those of you who feel trapped in this type of relationship, read on, and run fast if your man is using this on you. It is nothing but emotional blackmail that will destroy you in the end.
- It gives you attention you never had before
When entering a new relationship, a controlling partner will be very determined to win you over by giving you a large amount of attention that you are not accustomed to.
For the first time perhaps ever, you’ll feel like someone finally sees and hears you.
You will feel proud, appreciated and important. This will be a lot of fun at first, until one day he starts acting like a completely different person.
Once he attracts you, he will start depriving you of your personal space and make you do things outside your comfort zone.
He will emotionally blackmail you into doing things that you are not comfortable with by telling you that you owe him.
He treated you like a princess and now it’s time to return the favor. From then on, it started getting worse.
- He makes you feel like he wants a real commitment
This is how he makes you do what he wants so easily. He is simply expressing his desire to commit to you.
And if you’ve been in toxic relationships in the past with men who had trouble committing, this will be music to your ears.
He will make it seem like he wants you all to himself, and it may seem like rainbows and butterflies at first, but soon it becomes overly controlling and toxic.
He doesn’t allow you to be yourself, and you always have to check with him before doing anything.
It also starts by telling you who you can and cannot spend time with.
What used to make you feel happy and grateful has now become a nightmare because you’ve realized that he’s not the type to take no for an answer.
By the time you find out, you’re already mired in his web of deception.
- He showers you with attention, affection, and compliments
It’s as if you can do no wrong. Whatever you do – he is so proud and excited for you.
When you’re getting ready for a night out – you’re the most gorgeous person he’s ever seen and you make him feel like no one else can do it.
It may seem like a lot at times, but you will ignore it because you know that you deserve to be with someone who loves and cherishes you that much.
After all those unhealthy relationships, this is finally something you can enjoy.
Over time, you will start to feel some pressure to always look your best and do what you know he wants you to do.
Soon you will realize that this is what he expects from you. If you try to do something your way, you will realize that it is no longer an option.
Day after day, it will become clear that his way is the only way.
- He shows you how much he loves you
At first it will be very fun and relaxing. He will fight for you and stand by your side.
Every now and then, he might get into a fight with another guy who glanced at you at the bar, but you’d ignore it because that’s what guys do sometimes.
But this passion would soon prove to be little more than that. It was no longer affection, but aggression.
If you look a certain way that he doesn’t approve of, he will show you that you have to change.
And if someone outside looks at you again, they will be astonished.
Basically, what was a passion in the beginning, is now a real problem, and will escalate so quickly that you won’t know how it got there, but you will know it’s no longer healthy.
- He takes care of you like no one else has ever done before
He comes running home if you are sick and need help. He brings you flowers on the most random days and takes you on nights that blow your mind.
You are so well taken care of that you feel like you are in a bubble of happiness.
But that’s the thing about controlling partners. They take care of their women so much and so well, that they don’t let anyone else do it but themselves.
They’re the only ones allowed in there, and they quickly make that clear.
You feel that you cannot live without him and that he is the only one who can help you.
If you think about calling someone else or going out, you know it won’t end well.
This is a warning sign that he has caught up with you and that you need to find a way out, however you can.
