We all know that life is hard and having someone by your side who can help you through your day means a lot. To have someone to have your back and accompany you when everything is going well and when everything is going south.
But some people are simply not meant to be in a relationship.
Some people are simply not meant to be a part of our lives.
I’m talking about toxic manipulators, of course. The problem with manipulations is that they tend to damage you for life if you don’t see them in time. And believe me, it’s hard to notice.
I’ve been manipulated before, and even though I justified it myself by being young, deep down I know I never had a chance with them. They were so good to me that I didn’t even notice their games.
So, to help you, to help anyone reading this article and to save at least one person from being manipulated like me, I present to you the twisted signs of manipulation that you need to watch for in a relationship.
While some of them seem innocent, trust me, as well as other signs on this list, they are time bombs waiting to explode, and you will be the only victim.
Never taking responsibility for his mistakes
This may be difficult to notice in the early beginnings of a relationship, simply because there are not many arguments in the honeymoon phase. But it can still happen and the only way you can see it is to stop and really look at your relationship.
Can you remember the last time he apologized for something he did (like when he ignored your texts? Or did he make a bunch of empty promises that he never kept? Or did he try to blame you for something he did, and you ended up being… ). Who apologizes?
This happened to me a lot, because I wanted my relationship so badly to work. I fell deeply in love with this man and everything he said or did was very distorted to me at some point.
Now when I look back, I just want to slap myself for being such an idiot, but I was young and I was in love. I also lost a huge part of my faith and innocence thanks to him and his games.
Jealous
Jealousy in small amounts can be considered healthy for a relationship. He tells you that he cares about you and that there is something wonderful about being a little jealous.
But if this jealousy gets out of control, like he blames you for being too available to others and makes you stay home because he feels safe that way, then you are being manipulated.
Often times, people who are jealous are really insecure, so they project that insecurity onto you. They see infidelity where there is none and are always afraid that she will cheat on them because they feel like they are not good enough.
When you feel this way, it’s normal and healthy to talk about it with your partner to see if there’s a way to deal with it.
But manipulating your partner to stay home with you and making them feel guilty all the time because they have a life outside of the relationship is just a sign of toxic manipulation.
Related: 6 Shady Reasons Why Your Narcissistic Ex Wants To Stay Friends With You
He never keeps his word
They say that empty words breed empty hearts. When you’re constantly promised amazing dates, a wonderful life, and lots of love but you never experience any of it, you start to feel like all the joy has been sucked out of you.
You begin to doubt your worth and your relationship but not in the ways you should.
Manipulators will say whatever they want to say in order to keep you close and trust me, they know all the right words to say.
If your partner makes a bunch of empty promises but never delivers, then you are being manipulated into staying with him. In love, words do not mean as much as actions.
Don’t tell me how much you love me, show me. Make me feel loved, instead of just promising it.
Guilt and passive aggressive behavior
Guilt is basically the ultimate tool of manipulation. It’s basically using your past mistakes in order to get things from you, even if you made that mistake unintentionally or unintentionally.
Maybe you hurt his feelings once (or he even made it up) and now he’s taking advantage of that incident when he asks you for a favor, to make you feel guilty and make it easier to manipulate you.
You do something you don’t want to do, all because you feel guilty over something you did in the past and something he allegedly forgave you for. If you notice this, stop your relationship immediately.
As far as passive aggressive behavior is concerned, it is the most mature method that manipulators use to get something from you.
He doesn’t care to talk openly about the topic and let you know he’s upset; Instead, he’ll talk about you behind your back or leave a sink full of dishes to let you know he’s angry.
This is not only a sign of passive aggressive behavior but it is also a sign of an emotionally immature man and you need to run away from him as soon as possible!
He uses you to boost his ego
While people are looking for praise all the time, if they’re being manipulative while doing so, that’s a huge red flag.
He’ll often say how he thinks he’ll get fired, or how he’s bad at work, or how he can lose more weight because you’ll leave him for someone better looking, and he’s just doing it to get praise from you.
You feel obligated to make him feel better about himself but honestly, it’s like fighting a windmill. You will do it over and over until it starts driving you crazy.
And imposing his fears on you is something he will definitely do. It’s like he’ll stop you from eating peanut butter because he’s allergic to peanuts, or he’ll ask you to stop hanging out with male friends because he once cheated on you.
It may seem crazy, but his games and manipulations will be so good that you will not notice them at first and will obey them without knowing it. This is exactly why manipulators are so dangerous.
They strip you of your self-confidence, your friends and your sanity, until there is nothing left. After that, they leave in search of their next victim, because their work with you is done.
