The Disney scene where Mickey and Minnie stare right into each other’s eyes before a giant cartoon heart forms between them is for some reason – relationships are supposed to be full of love.
Even cartoon mice know this. Unfortunately, this is not always the case. Sometimes relationships are anything but cartoon hearts. Sometimes, they are not full of love at all.
How to know if your relationship wasn’t meant to be toxic.
Unfortunately, the signs of an unhealthy relationship are not always overt; A cartoon heart doesn’t suddenly turn dark and turn into a skull right before our eyes. Instead, the signs of a toxic relationship are often more subtle. But rest assured, they are there. You just need to know what you’re looking for.
Abuse, meanness, and constant exaggeration are all signs of an unhealthy relationship, but you may also have an inappropriate union if you have experienced the following in your (possibly toxic) romantic relationship.
5 crystal clear signs that your toxic relationship isn’t meant to be.
- You and your partner never see each other.
It can be difficult to consider yourself in a relationship if you don’t see the person you’re in a relationship with. This is largely why people who say they are dating their boyfriend online are never taken seriously.
We never see each other – or see each other very often
In moderation – is one of the biggest signs of an unhealthy relationship. As you can see, it’s fairly simple: if you want to be in a relationship, you actually need to be together.
Related: 3 Extremely Toxic Expectations That Kill Your Relationship
- You and your partner see each other often.
There’s a delicate balance between never seeing each other and seeing each other often. The latter can also be one of the signs of an unhealthy relationship.
The reason for this has to do with interdependence: you shouldn’t depend on your partner for everything. Instead, you should spend some time apart doing your things. This will make you both appreciate each other more and ultimately strengthen your relationship in the long run.
- You and your partner talk to everyone, but not to each other.
When you have a problem with your partner, you call your mother and talk about it. Your partner does the same and calls his friends for an emergency meeting of the minds.
But this hurts the relationship. It’s good to talk to your friends and family from time to time, but you should talk to each other too. If you don’t, your problems will never be solved, and as such, happiness will remain elusive.
Related: 5 Tiny Habits That Will Keep You In A Toxic Relationship Forever
- You and your partner are only focused on one person’s desires.
Another common sign of an unhealthy relationship involves dreams and desires. We all have them, even those of us who aren’t particularly ambitious. The dreams and desires don’t have to be radical, or involve huge career changes or moving to Ann Arbor, Michigan.
Even seemingly small desires, like wanting to watch CSI instead of The Real Housewives of Orange County, qualify. Because desires exist within all of us, the relationship must balance the desires of both partners, whether the desire is big or small.
If someone always gets what they want or only gets their needs met, the relationship is not fair and, most likely, will not work out in the long run. Even when it works, one party will likely be unhappy.
- You and your partner don’t like each other.
At the Root of Love – If you and your partner don’t love each other, there’s little chance you will love each other. The concept of loving but not liking each other only exists—and works—when we feel as if we have to (like loving our sister but not loving her).
However, with a partner or spouse, we do not feel an innate obligation to declare adoration: instead, we struggle to love them even if we do not love them. Sometimes, this can be treated. If there’s something your partner does that makes you not like them, asking them to change (and then doing it) may change your feelings.
However, other times, not liking someone is a sign that it’s time to move on and find someone who can truly make you happy.
Related: The Difficult Truth About Moving On From A Toxic Relationship
