Being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel like you’re stuck in a never-ending emotional rollercoaster. If you suspect this type of behavior in a relationship, here are five inhumane things narcissists do to torment you.
But, What Is Narcissistic Torture?
Narcissistic Torture isn’t an official psychological term, but it’s commonly used to describe emotional or psychological manipulation by people with narcissistic traits or Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).
This term typically refers to the harmful behaviors or tactics a narcissist uses to control, humiliate, or manipulate you, all in an attempt to enhance their sense of superiority, gain power, or bolster their self-image. The following five signs will help you recognize harmful behaviors before they become too stressful and painful.
Five Things a Narcissist Does to Hurt You
- They Make You Question Your Reality
Psychological manipulation is one of the most common torture tactics used by narcissists, and it can have a profoundly damaging effect. They distort the truth, deny what they said, or accuse you of being overly sensitive or imagining things. Over time, you may begin to doubt your memory and how you perceive events. This kind of mental manipulation can make you feel like you’re losing your mind. You may find yourself reconsidering everything, including your thoughts and feelings, giving them even greater control over you. For example, imagine confronting them about hurtful words they said, only for them to claim they never happened or that you’re “making a big deal out of nothing.”
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- They constantly criticize and belittle you
Narcissists thrive on control, and one of the five things narcissists do to maintain their control is constant criticism. No matter what you do, it’s never enough. They’ll belittle your accomplishments, ridicule your decisions, and make you feel insignificant. Gradually, their words erode your self-confidence. You’ll begin to doubt your abilities and worth, which only strengthens their grip on you.
Example: You may achieve a significant accomplishment at work, but the narcissist will dismiss it, claiming it’s “no big deal” or that “anyone could have done it.”
- They Turn Others Against You (Triangulation)
Narcissists are experts at creating drama and discord between people. This tactic is called triangulation, where they bring in a third party to manipulate and further isolate you. They may belittle you in front of mutual friends or colleagues, sowing doubt and division. This leaves you feeling isolated and unsure of who to trust, which serves the narcissist’s purpose of keeping you dependent on them.
Example: They may tell you that a mutual friend is talking behind your back, even if this is untrue, just to make you question that friendship.
- They Use Your Emotions Against You.
Narcissists thrive on emotional manipulation. They know your vulnerabilities and use your emotions against you. If you’re sensitive, they will exploit that vulnerability to provoke a reaction.
If you express sadness or frustration, they may ridicule your feelings or accuse you of being overly emotional. The goal is to throw you off balance and feel powerless, ensuring you turn to them for validation and acceptance.
For example, if you’re upset about something, instead of comforting you, they may accuse you of being dramatic or tell you that you’re the cause of your own pain.
- They Use the Silent Treatment and Withhold Affection
Narcissists can be extremely cold and calculating when it comes to punishing you. One of their most frightening tactics is the silent treatment. When they don’t get what they want or want to hurt you, they may withdraw affection, ignore you, or act as if you don’t exist. This emotional abandonment is designed to make you feel unworthy and desperately in need of their attention and approval. This cycle of giving and withholding affection keeps you in a state of emotional dependence.
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Example: After a disagreement, they may refuse to talk to you for days, leaving you feeling confused, anxious, and desperate to fix things, even if you weren’t at fault. How can you protect yourself from narcissistic abuse? Identifying these tactics is the first step toward protecting yourself. Narcissists are skilled at manipulation, but by knowing their strategies, you can begin to reclaim control over your life. Remember, their goal is to keep you under their control, so focus on your well-being to free yourself from their manipulation and begin to reclaim your identity.
You deserve relationships built on mutual respect, trust, and love, not on control or narcissist torture!
