If you’ve never had to deal with a narcissist, consider yourself lucky. Their heightened sense of self-importance, need for excessive validation from others, lack of emotional intelligence, and tendency to almost enjoy being shocked can leave you in a state of utter despair. People who have spent any amount of time in contact with a narcissist rarely leave the relationship unscathed.
But not all narcissists are created equal.
There are malignant narcissists, and he is one of the fiercest and most dangerous types of narcissists. Then you have the overt narcissist who fits the definition to a tee; A great personality, preoccupation with dreams of success and power, connivance and manipulation, and a huge superiority complex. The covert narcissist flies under the radar but has the same destructive characteristics. They hide what they have better.
One type of narcissist that you may not know about is the “leech” narcissist.
Noel Houghton, a divorce coach who specializes in divorcing narcissists, coined the term in an Instagram clip in which she explains the personality traits of a leech narcissist who always takes, but never gives. A leech narcissist is a member of a secret narcissist’s family who has a “strategy” that gets you to take care of them while getting absolutely nothing in return.
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Here are four signs that indicate that a person is a narcissistic leech.
- They make you the breadwinner
According to Houghton, a leech narcissist will always find a way to make you take care of him. You go to work and earn a living that supports their financial needs. On the home front, there will be no give or take. You are alone and they are just dependents. They may have been “stalking” you with the intention of taking advantage of you from the beginning. - They are looking for work but can’t seem to find or keep one.
Narcissists seem to make an effort to find work, but they always come up empty, even in a great job market. Even when they do find work, it doesn’t last long, and they are full of excuses as to why. It’s always someone else’s fault. A supervisor, coworker, or simply didn’t like the job.
Related: Can Some People Develop Immunity to Narcissists and Speed Up Healing from Toxic Relationships?
- They do not bear any responsibility.
One would think that if one partner works hard and helps, the other will step up and make the house a home. This is definitely an incorrect assumption with the leech narcissist. It will allow you to carry the weight of the world on your shoulders while he sits back and watches. If you are looking for someone you can grow and build with, you have come to the wrong place.
- They will fail, so you will never ask again.
These leeches “will do a very bad job, so never ask them again,” Houghton says. They will use incompetence as a weapon to half-heartedly complete tasks, doing unsatisfying work until you feel it is easier to do it yourself. Leech narcissists won’t feel bad at all when you enslave them.
When it comes to attachment narcissists, they’re not much different from the rest.
They feel entitled to your work, your resources, and your undying love. They take it because they deserve it in their minds, and you owe it to them just for the privilege of being in their presence.
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Relationships are built on love, mutual support, trust, communication and understanding. Whether your partner is a narcissist or not, they are weighing you down if they do not carry their weight. You should be comfortable alone and only relate to the person who adds to or enhances your life. If they can’t do that, why do they really exist?
