Women in toxic relationship tell themselves self-harm lies. Never underestimate the power of denial.
People love to say that love is blind, and no saying could be more accurate when it comes to women in toxic, emotionally abusive relationships, and marriages with men who have narcissistic personality traits.
Many victims of narcissistic abuse live in a constant state of denial, being able to hyperfocus on memories of times when their abuser acted in ways intended to present themselves as conscientious and caring.
Read : Love Gone Sour? When Someone You Love Becomes Toxic
Unfortunately, the lies these women tell themselves in an attempt to maintain the illusion that they are safe in their home and their closest relationship is a dangerous form of self-harm behavior.
Early manipulative behaviors such as “love bombing” and vivid, emotional memories emblazoned in their minds (along with addictive love chemicals) become a utopian dreams of what they were meant to be.
Here are four self-harm lies from women in an emotionally abusive, toxic relationship with men who have narcissistic personality traits they tell themselves, so you can open your eyes to the truth.
- “If I could show him how much I love him, he would change.”
Deep down, you believe that all of your inner shortcomings can be healed through your unconditional and unconditional love. If you cling to the idea of saving the relationship and helping your partner heal with the power of love, think again.
What it does is provide an endless fountain of narcissistic supply, constant attention to fuel this toxic state.
They keep you busy, engaged, and engaged with their games, mind tricks, and manipulation. They take up your brain space. Like ticks, they are under your skin, draining you emotionally of health, happiness, and well-being.
Your valiant love is merely providing life support to this insidious condition as it eats all your healthy parts until in the end you are all devoured, and there will be nothing left.
Read : How The 3 Types of Narcissists Act on a First Date
- “They are going through a hard time. It will get better soon.”
People who are going through a difficult time may have short-term changes in behavior, but when the behavior follows a consistent pattern of kindness followed by cruelty over time, you know that this is not just their struggle with a difficult problem, but someone who has a persistent, long-term pattern of abnormal behavior. – The abusive – personality traits. - “They just aren’t themselves. They’ve never been like this before.”
What happens is that you can’t let go of the image of the person you thought they were, but they are who they always were.
See the evidence.
Is he interested in how you feel?
Does he respond with concern when you point out how hurt you feel after the argument?
Does he support your views when you describe your frustrations with the relationship?
Or does he minimize your feelings and tell you they are in your head?
Read : 10 Signs He’s Just Using You and Is Not Genuine
- “I can’t give it up.”
Understand the difference between giving up and knowing when you’ve had enough. The two are very different. Know when you’ve had enough and find the strength to draw boundaries.
This is hard if you’re a person who sticks to things, through thick and thin, through illness and health. You believe that these are facts, that there are no real reasons to give up or give up because to do so is to admit personal defeat. to fail.
This thinking will only keep you stuck.
You have likely succeeded in most of the things you set your mind to. It is likely that you set a goal and achieved it through hard work, determination, and perseverance.
I’ve lived by the adage, shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you will land among the stars. Saving your relationship is just another goal to achieve, and you will achieve it. Even if it kills you.
Read : 3 Dead Giveaways Of How Narcissists Act In Romantic Relationships
Don’t let it go. You cannot save this relationship. You don’t set your sights on the moon; You put them on another solar system.
The narcissistic abuser cannot be healed with love, empathy, or unwavering commitment.
You’ve probably realized that the narcissistic abuser is not interested in trying to heal themselves or repair the relationship. You may have allowed it to seep into your consciousness, but your denial is trying to expel that realization of the truth again.
Can you see that this person is not interested in a collaborative solution and doesn’t believe that both parties are equal and can each meet their own needs?
Maybe you don’t feel you deserve equality. Perhaps, after years of being demolished and momentarily supported, only to be demolished again, you truly believe you are inferior and cannot expect an outcome that involves both parties meeting their needs.
You undoubtedly know what you need to do if you’ve read up to this point.
I hope by now you are convinced that this is a situation you cannot fix and that you should stop clinging to this illusion. You have to accept the horror and futility of the situation, you do.
