Getting into an emotionally abusive relationship can drain you emotionally and psychologically, leaving you mentally exhausted. The constant cycle of idealization, devaluation, and ostracism makes one wonder if love is really?

Some people who do not understand the scope of narcissism mistake it for a minor flaw and choose to adapt to it. The bad news is that narcissism isn’t just a simple flaw, it’s a personality disorder.

You may think that a narcissist’s love for you is real, but the reality couldn’t be further from the truth. They will love and treat you right as long as it is in their best interest. The moment your job ends, they will reject you. Altruism is not something narcissists believe in.

Related: How To Recover From A Toxic Relationship? 6 Helpful Ways

4 Subtle Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship

1. Treating people as things and as a means to an end
   Narcissists do not enter into relationships with the same ideas about love, fairness, ideas of responsibility sharing, propriety, equality, partnership, etc. that normal people have. Instead, narcissists are highly opportunistic, short-sighted, and selfish.

As long as you can serve the interests of a narcissist, you will stay in the picture, and if you can’t, you are out of it. It’s that simple for a narcissist to get people out of their lives.

If you get into a narcissistic relationship, everything will be fine and perfect at first. Over time, you will slowly begin to see signs of control, manipulation, gassing, and emotional abuse.

At first, you may end up dismissing these signs as hard spots or bad days, but over time you will realize that the same things happen over and over again. Narcissistic abuse will leave you feeling mentally miserable and unsure of yourself all the time.

In an emotionally abusive relationship, the harsh truth is that you don’t matter, only the narcissist matters. No matter how many times they apologize for causing you harm, they will always go back to their old ways. This is only possible when they see that their victim constantly forgives them, no matter what they do.

What reinforces their overconfidence is the fact that the victim never leaves and chooses to make things ‘work’. This is greatly exploited by narcissists who continue to use their partners to satisfy their malevolent desires.

2. Narcissistic abuse does not believe in compromise

Compromise is an essential part of a relationship, and at some point or another, everyone compromises in order to maintain a stable and happy relationship. However, when you are dealing with a narcissist, throw the concept of compromise out the window, because they simply don’t understand how it works. And even if they did, they wouldn’t care much about it.

Narcissists don’t believe in bargaining, so why do they? Bargaining means that they may have to sacrifice their desires or put them behind and prioritize the other person’s needs. A situation like this is the absolute lack of a narcissist.

When you are someone who wants to share love, comfort, peace, and closeness with your partner but you realize that he is so bent on power and can never compromise, it can affect your relationship.

Narcissistic abuse can be described as destroying opportunities for intimacy by bringing up old issues, power struggles, and negative things other people say about you.

This leads to the heartbreaking realization that you are in an emotionally abusive relationship with someone who will likely not be able to communicate on the levels we all desire in intimate relationships.

A narcissist in no way believes in making the other person feel good, except for the times when they need something from them. If the narcissist needs something from you, they will compliment you, make you feel special, and make sure you feel positive all the time with them.

But once they are done with their work, the feel-good factor disappears, and the pleasant behavior as well as positivity goes away.

A narcissistic relationship can lead you to anxiety, depression, low self-confidence, and massive amounts of self-doubt because without all of this, the narcissist could never manipulate you to his heart’s content.

3. Honesty without trust is worthless

Trusting narcissists can be one of the hardest things you can do in a relationship because almost all they do is lie. No matter what you say or ask, they will always have a lie on the tip of their tongue. They will be “honest” with you and not be honest at the same time.

They are always delusional in their selves, imagining if they can control reality from seeing the light of day if they can prevent prisoners from speaking, then they can control reality.

In such a situation, how can you trust a person who lies so easily and openly? The funny part is, if you confront them with this, they will give you a hundred excuses for why they said what they said.

As a model for their nature, they will manipulate the situation and somehow convince you of their innocence and why they are right. If you end up believing him in some way, that’s all well and good but if you don’t, you’re “crazy”, “suspicious”, “arrogant”, “annoying” and so on.

Manipulating and undermining people is what a narcissist can do best, which is why being in a narcissistic relationship can severely affect your mental health.

4. True love can never offend you

The difference between being in a narcissistic relationship and being in a normal relationship is simple: someone who truly loves you and understands that you will not be offended in any way or another. Love can never mean abuse but a narcissistic relationship can definitely mean it.

Emotional abuse is part of the narcissist’s repertoire and is one of their biggest and most powerful weapons. The only way they can get what they want is to abuse you emotionally and mentally, to the point where you are completely subordinate to them.

Love doesn’t mean you lie to, lie about, lie to cover up, lie to hurt people, lie to run away, and otherwise deceive and deceive people who deserve your transparency and honesty.

It is not just a simple mistake, for a man or woman to fail to indicate that they have had unprotected sex with several other people outside of their marriage, it is a horrible way to disrespect your wife.

Love does not constantly tell your partner that it is worthless or useless or how it is only good for sexual satisfaction or how they should kill themselves. Being subjected to such horrific mental torture can permanently change a person’s mindset and how they see themselves.

When we are stuck in the empty world of narcissists, we can’t see the abuse for what it is. We call it love and try to return to the positive feelings that made us feel.

We try harder, make ourselves more vulnerable, more patient, more understanding, but the narcissist just reads that we are ready to take more supplies from him; Absolutely nothing more – the more we allow them to use and abuse us, they see it as tacit consent to continue to abuse us, and if we stay, that’s what they will do.