Of all personality types, I believe the narcissist is the most pervasive, but also perhaps the most elusive. This makes them difficult to identify. So how do you know if you’re dealing with this type of toxic personality? You have to pay attention to the things narcissists say.
Narcissists say things to manipulate you
While it is true to think that narcissists only think of themselves, they still need an audience. In other words – you. You are the mirror they hold to themselves to stand up against. But they know that you will not continue to work just for their good. So they become masters of verbal manipulation.
they will charm and persuade; They lie and pretend, all to confuse and disappoint you. Narcissists say things to boost yourself one minute and then put you down the next.
They want you to be unbalanced and confused. After all, it’s easier for a person to stoop to their way of thinking if you’re emotionally vulnerable.
Narcissists use techniques such as gaslighting to control their victims. They may reject anyone’s feelings or use love bombing at the beginning of the relationship to confuse you.
Narcissists say things that may seem contradictory at times. For example, it is not uncommon for a narcissist to praise you for something unimportant and then put you down for something that is not your fault.
To show you what I mean, here are 38 examples of things narcissists say to manipulate you.
38 things narcissists say to manipulate you
Love bombing
“I’ve never felt this way before.”
“No one will ever love you the way I love you.”
“I’ve been waiting for you all my life.”
“We just need each other.”
Narcissists need a hook to get your attention at the start of any new relationship. At the time, I probably felt overwhelmed by the intensity of their feelings. Perhaps your intuition warned you that this onslaught of charm and outpourings of love wasn’t quite right.
But the narcissist has made you believe that you are the most important person in the world. This is intoxicating and hard to resist. So if someone declares their undying love after a few days or weeks, back off.
rejecting
- “I was just kidding.”
- “You are so sensitive.”
- “Honestly, you make such a fuss about nothing.”
- “Why are you upset? You are so weak.”
- “Don’t be so dramatic!”
Once the narcissist has you in their clutches, the manipulation begins. Narcissists say things to test the waters. So they may make disparaging remarks about you and when you react, they will dismiss your reaction.
The narcissist will say, of course, that they are just joking. What happened to your sense of humor? Oh my God, stop being so whiny and touchy.
Mind manipulation
- “I don’t have that problem with anyone else.”
- “You must be wrong.”
- “You are paranoid.”
- “None of my friends are like you, but I always stand up for you.”
Gaslighting is a favorite technique of narcissists. Narcissists use it to gain power and control over their victims.
Gaslighting starts with a little lie here and there that you might not even notice. The narcissist will then say even more irritating things. You begin to doubt your mind. You wonder what is the truth and what is not. Suddenly, you can’t tell anymore.
denial
- “I never said that.”
- “You must be imagining things.”
- “You don’t remember that correctly.”
- “That never happened, I never will.”
- “I’m getting forgetful.”
A big part of gaslighting is the narcissist’s capacity for denial, denial, and denial. Remember, they want you to question yourself. A narcissistic person needs to be emotionally imbalanced. Denying that something happened when it did is one way to drive yourself crazy.
drama
- “I can’t live without you.”
- “Why are you abandoning me?”
- “I would die without you.”
A narcissist without drama is unheard of. Narcissists live to create and live through drama, but they can’t do it without your participation.
Once the love in their life bombards you and takes control of you through gaslighting, they then need to create a situation in which you find it impossible to leave them. Things narcissists say include death threats.
Play the victim
- “Why do I have to do everything here?”
- “Nobody knows how hard my life is right now.”
- “Everyone is against me.”
Part of creating their dramatic narrative is playing the victim in every scenario. If they are out of work, it is because they are very good-looking and people are afraid that their husbands will be attracted to them.
You can bet that if you’ve faced tragedy in your life, they can top it. Don’t even try to enter into a traumatic competition with the narcissist. They will win every time.
Praise error
- “You’re perfect!”
- “Oh my God, you’re amazing at that!”
- “Wow, you are incredible!”
Narcissists praise when it is not deserved. They’ll over-congratulate you on trivial things that make you feel special. When we feel special, we get a reward in our brains. We love this feeling so we want to bond more with the person who created it. This brings us closer to the narcissist.
