You’ve been friends since forever so you can definitely sense when something breaks with your friendship.
Despite this, you will want to give them the benefit of the doubt. After all, what if they are going through something? You are mature enough to know that friendships change over time.
However, you can’t shake the suspicion that there is more to him than that, and that he probably actually hates you!
To know for sure, pay attention if your boyfriend does a lot of the things listed below.
37 signs your boyfriend really hates you
1) You are the person who communicates with you all the time
I used to talk non-stop in person, through phone calls, through chats. Chatarama all day, every day! You have shared even the simplest things like your boring lunch and daily horoscope.
If there’s a ding on your phone, you know it’s them.
But these days they talk less and less. The change was, of course, gradual. From daily to every other day, to weekly, to twice a month. And guess who gets to catch up twice a month? You and only you.
2) They aren’t really excited to see you
You don’t talk much online anymore, so call them out for a quick tip, and expect that they’ll be the same person you used to know when you finally meet again.
Of course, this does not happen.
For the past few dates you’ve gone on, they’ve been running late and are in such a rush to leave. They don’t have any excuses anymore.
They refuse when you ask if they want one beer or another coffee. In fact, they keep checking their watch, and are more excited to leave than to meet you.
They can be very busy and stressed, have important things in mind, or they may find it pointless to meet you if they hate you deep down.
3) They don’t like to open up anymore
It’s been ages since the two of you opened up to each other and shared your burdens. Now when you ask them how well they are doing they simply shrug and say “same old, same old”.
But you don’t know how they’ve been lately, so you don’t even know what they mean by “same age,” so you’re a little pressured. Then they get angry or push you away, telling you not to be nosy.
It is as if they have built a wall around themselves. They may no longer trust you, or they may be trying to kick you out so they don’t end up hating you even more.
4) They can no longer take a joke
You used to say stupid things and laugh about them. But now, even if you’re only joking about something as trivial as their choice of drink or the color of their shirt, they act as if you’ve committed a crime.
It’s sad that you can’t joke about each other anymore because the ability to “insult” each other is an indicator of closeness.
What did I do to deserve this? Everything used to be fine, but now it’s like they think you’re a heartless freak whose goal is to make them feel bad.
5) Your questions suddenly become offensive to them
When you ask, “How is your relationship?” , it seems to them that you are asking “Why are you still together?”
When you ask “How’s work?” To them, it feels like you’re asking “Are you still stuck in the same boring job that pays too little?”
But they don’t make it clear that they are upset. They don’t want to show their weakness. Instead, you will notice that their moods change.
6) They make you feel clingy and demanding
You want to preserve your friendship because it is so precious to you. Naturally, you want to do things together.
They are not excited but you are trying to connect anyway. Ask them what’s up and ask them if you can join them, only for them to come off your back and tell you that you’re too demanding.
This can be helpful if you’re trying to be with them every day, and if you’re trying to make sure they don’t do anything without you.
But if it’s been a while since I last communicated with you, that’s not good. It just means that your friend is bothering you to some degree.
7) They enjoy bullying you
They can’t take a joke but they really enjoy bullying you in front of everyone.
They will laugh so hard when you struggle and sometimes wonder why they would do that now when they used to bully everyone other than you.
Well, you are no exception anymore because now your boyfriend probably hates you. In fact, you might be their favorite person to bully right now if they really hate you.
8) They become condescending
They want to belittle you every chance they get, but they do it in a funny, sarcastic tone so you don’t have the right to be offended.
They will give you a lecture on how to handle your money, and how you should get rid of your bad habits.
They’ll roll their eyes when you ask them about something you know nothing about, reminding you that you’re kind of stupid.
9) They will ask you to return the things you borrowed
You have always been generous to each other. You borrow each other’s things, you borrow money from each other… You are like family!
But now, they’re asking for those things back ASAP like I’m a bad friend to keep their stuff. Perhaps your friend resents you for showing her anger in these small ways.
10) Flirt with your crush
When your friendship was still great, there’s no way they’d get close to your crush. If they make headway, you know your friend is going to run. You are loved!
But now, even though your boyfriend isn’t actively pursuing your crush, he’s not ignoring her either. It’s as if your friend is enjoying torturing you.
11) They are obviously pretending to love you
The way they smile is different, the way they gush and congratulate you on your new job is different too. They feel…fake!
It is as if they are not really who they are. They can’t fool you because you’ve known each other forever and that means you also know when they’re fake.
It can make you feel like there is something wrong with you but most of the time, the fake guy is the one with the problems.
12) They enjoy reminding you of your flaws
You’re clumsy and getting better. But instead of reassuring you, your boyfriend always finds ways to remind you of your indiscretions, whether that’s by joking, nagging at him, or even just pointing at him when you talk to him.
They do this even when you’re with other people, too. It is as if they are doing it for their own pleasure.
It gets worse if it’s more serious like if you have a drinking problem, the fact that you’re always in bad relationships, or your ugly nose that you’ve always been insecure about.
A good friend knows you and therefore knows how to hurt you and that is exactly what your “friend” is trying to do to you right now.
13) They are not happy when you share the good news
While a friend in need is indeed a friend, the true test of friendship is when you share the good news.
Real friends are really happy for us when we get what we want – a great relationship, a job offer, an award of some kind. Those who have negative feelings towards us cannot be happy when we share the good news.
“But they don’t deserve it,” they thought. or “What about me?!”
Some are great at making you successful as long as you don’t have more success than them. The moment it becomes apparent that you are doing a much better job, they start to hate you. It is likely that your friend is one of these people.
14) They compliment with the back of the hand
“Awesome! I didn’t expect you to win first prize. Good for you!”
or “You look good in your shirt. You must wear it more often!”
Back-handed compliments are “compliments” that are actually offensive and only those who hate you will say those things.
Perhaps they resent you for winning an award or want to make you feel insecure with your appearance because others praise you. It’s not easy to do, but try not to take their insults seriously.
They hate you so all they want to do is hurt you.
15) They see you as a competition
Maybe that’s why they hate you, tbh.
Unless you did something absolutely horrible in your friendship that made them hate you, the most likely reason is jealousy.
When we are still in our twenties, we are trying to find our identity and succeed in life. Of course, you can’t help but compare each other’s lives. We all do.
The problem is, they took it a little too far. You become the villain of their story, and that usually only gets stronger the more failures they encounter along their way.
16) They are irritable
It’s as if everything you do annoys your friend — you walk too slowly or too fast, or you chew your food the wrong way. The smallest things bother them!
They’re always in a bad mood, and you’d think they might just be angry.
But it turns out that this only happens when you’re around. When they are with other people, they seem happy and logical. It is as if being with you summons the dark clouds above their heads.
This means that they are having problems with you, even if they are not aware of it. Maybe you remind them of something they hate, or maybe your friend is jealous of you. Whatever the case, they simply don’t feel good when you’re around.
17) They stop greeting you on special occasions
It’s Christmas and you haven’t received a gift from them, nor a greeting either. Maybe they are just busy celebrating with family or maybe they just don’t find it necessary anymore.
The thing is… you guys were having each other’s butts these days.
Your sad birthday is that while they greet you on your birthday, they do it late at night as if it was just an afterthought or something they do off duty.
18) They don’t like your posts
You don’t expect your friends – even your best friend – to like your every post, but if they like other people’s posts regularly and haven’t liked yours in a while, something is up.
Sure, it’s a free country and we shouldn’t measure our friendships by our social media interactions, but this is definitely one sign that your boyfriend secretly hates you.
You see, if you’re a true friend and you’re always online, you can comment on your closest friends’ posts even if they’re a little lame and self-indulgent because hey… that’s what friends do, especially if you don’t see each other often.
19) You don’t agree with almost everything
Even something as simple as choosing the right food becomes serious.
Most of the time, when anger and resentment are not expressed in a healthy way, they find their way in simple, everyday things.
They’re not really annoyed that you want to order something “too healthy,” they’re angry that you’re trying to show them how healthy and disciplined you are. For a friend who hates you, everything you say and do becomes an attack on their character.
20) They put you in vulnerable positions
They know a lot about you and because of that, they have the power to comfort you…but also hurt you and put you in an embarrassing place.
For example, they know you’re broke now but insist your friend group should go on a cruise. Not only will this make you feel a bit more self-pity, but you’ll also be forced to reveal your problems to the rest of the group.
Maybe your boyfriend has completely forgotten about the fact that you’re totally broke (even if you told him a week ago), maybe he’s just being impulsive, or maybe he just did it out of spite.
21) They act very politely
A person who is trying to hold back his frustration and resentment will act nice… sometimes very nice. And if they really start to dislike you, they’ll walk away and growl.
This is especially evident if you’ve always known them to be an idiot and yet now they treat you as if you were a guest they just met.
They are a different person now. Too many formal words and gestures as if they are trying to define the boundaries of your relationship.
22) They will gas you
You know there is something wrong between you two, so try to bring it up.
Your channel goes like this:
You: “Hey, is something wrong? You seem distant lately.”
your friend: me? far? of course not!”
You: But you rarely reply to my letters.
Your friend: “Of course I do. You’re imagining things again!”
A friend who hates you wants to stay in your life even if all they really want is to cut you out.
Maybe because they don’t want to be the “bad friend”. Because of that, they’ll just put in a little effort and hope you won’t notice that they’ve changed.
23) The silence is awkward
If you have issues that have just been brushed under a rug, this can build up. And when that happens, the issues only get thicker…and can make being together awkward.
But let’s say you can’t think of why they are mad at you and yet you can cut the uncomfortable silence with a knife, maybe it’s because your friend hates you now.
If you are a highly sensitive person, you can tell instantly when something is up and you are aware of these cues. It’s usually body language. Maybe they don’t look you directly in the eye when they’re talking or they keep crossing and unbending their feet.
24) They hid you on social media
Well, there’s no way to know for sure unless you explicitly ask them, but then your intuition tells you that you’re hidden. You just know!
Then there are the more obvious signs like when you see them actively posting and commenting on other people’s posts, and they don’t even see your 1k like engagement posts.
If you know how social networks work, you know that it is impossible for them not to see your posts unless they hide you.
It is possible that there are other reasons that are lesser than the hatred but that may stem from the same context.
25) You are no longer the person to turn to
You used to be the first person you called in an emergency but that is not the case anymore.
Heck, you haven’t heard much from them. You see her active status on Whatsapp however, cockroaches.
Well, you got news from your mutual friend about your friend’s latest dilemma. Basically, they tell this person that they’re not close to you but they aren’t.
You used to be their hero, now you’re not so fast.
26) You are no longer on their social media
You checked his profile because you remember they posted a picture of the two of you together while hiking last summer. You can’t find it anymore. In fact, all the pictures you posted that I was in are gone.
Maybe you did something terrible and they really hate your stinking guts. It is possible that they are deeply hurt because only the injured person would bother doing so.
27) They show passive aggressive behavior
So not only do they give backhanded compliments, they also display passive aggressive behavior.
Passive aggression is a pattern of indirectly expressing negative emotions rather than addressing them overtly.
Think of the many ways you used to piss off your brother or classmate without making it too obvious.
Maybe you walk a little slower just to annoy them, say something like “I don’t want to be rude” and say something super rude because you already said the disclaimer.
28) They don’t care if you get in trouble
They know you get crazy when you’re drunk but your boyfriend is just letting you make a complete fool of yourself.
You can tell they are different now because they used to get you to stop.
They are used to protecting you the same way you protect them. But things have changed and maybe because deep down they hate you and want you to make mistakes.
29) They no longer drop everything to rush you
You know that you are not a needy person and the times when you really need your friends are few and far between.
When you recently went through a life or death situation, your friend just noticed from afar. They didn’t rush you to get you out of the mess you got yourself into.
Sure we’re all busy but this kind of thing doesn’t usually happen and you wish they were there for you. Perhaps they are now becoming too self-centered or the friendship has chang
You may not be a popular comedian, but they always react in some way to the silliest jokes in your book.
But now they simply don’t interact at all. Or when they interact, it’s to make sure you get the idea that they hate you.
It could be that they will roll their eyes, groan and tell you to stop, or simply walk away. And you can just tell there’s nothing friendly about it either. They don’t just pretend. It’s real.
They know it will hurt you. If they care about you, they will stop themselves. But because they already hate you, they will jump at the chance to make you feel bad.
31) They shut you down when you ask for favors
Asking friends for favors is bad. Or, at least most people think so. There is a fear that you are too dependent on your friends, or that you are just taking advantage of them.
So all things considered, it is only right to treat friends kindly when they come to ask for a favor. Even when they can’t enjoy it right now (maybe they’re busy), they’ll at least try to say a good “no.”
If they shut you down without caring how you feel, and make it clear that they don’t want you to ask for favors, they likely hate you.
32) They are not proud of you
It’s only natural to want to celebrate your victories with your friends. After all, who doesn’t like it when their friend is happy?
Not everyone may have the emotional energy to go along with that, of course. There are times when the news is not appropriate. A friend who just dumped you won’t enjoy it when you tell them that you’ve gone steady with someone special.
But even then, a friend won’t try to put you down, telling you things like “Just that? That’s no big deal. Try harder.”
A true friend celebrates and helps you, not destroys you. So who cares if your drawings aren’t as good as theirs, or you learned how to make plumbing yourself?
It is important to you and they need to be aware of that.
33) They are not there at your bottom
We all need companionship when things are especially tough. The times when everything is falling apart and we feel like we have nothing to live for.
And in those times, true friends will do their best to be there for you.
They may not be there in person, or be by your side all the time, but they will still try to ask if you are okay. If you are okay. And if you are in danger, they will turn heaven and earth just to make sure you are safe.
The last thing they want is to lose a friend. Because that’s a very real risk in such circumstances.
But when you ask for help, they leave you in reading mode or drag you down. When they don’t respond despite how many times you try to contact them, they sure don’t care about you.
34) You hear rumors about them about you
Friendship is built on respect. And if you respect someone, you won’t gossip about them or talk about them behind their back.
They may smile at you and act nice to your face, only to laugh at you when you turn your back. They may try to engage you in interesting conversation, only to alter your words and make you sound like a monster when speaking to others.
The problem is that people can do that and still seem like the perfect boyfriend to you. It is not immediately apparent.
You will have to wait for others to confess to you what is happening behind your back, and then provide irrefutable evidence.
But when you get this evidence, you can be sure that they definitely didn’t like you. And if you get the proof after you decide to stop being friends with them anyway, you can rest assured that you made the right decision.
35) Don’t worry
Another sign that they really hate you is that they will keep trying to blame you or make things up so you can feel bad.
The thing with people is that when we hate someone, we’ll always want to blame them, even if we’re not sure they’re to blame and even when we know they’re innocent.
Let’s say you and your friends are on a foreign trip to Peru and your group ends up late on the flight, so your plane departs without you.
And without missing a thing, they point at you and say you missed the flight because you overslept and took too long in the bathroom… when it was because your taxi broke down in the middle of the road.
36) She’s not on your side anymore
Your best friend is used to standing up for you even when you are clearly in the wrong. They say, “That’s what friends do!” And you never felt loved and trusted.
Recently, though, when you told them about your ex teasing you for cheating (because you actually did), your friend said, “Well…he has a point.” The old version of your friend would have said something like, “But he shouldn’t bother you! Call the police!”
37) Believe your enemies
We are not saints. There are some people we really hate with our whole being. Your friend hated them too just because you hated them. It’s just the way you show loyalty to each other.
But then your now-boyfriend has started befriending a bully in high school. Not only do they seem to be having a quick chat because this is just right for you, but they plan to go on a road trip together as if they were friends.
