Have you ever just left the room after talking to someone feeling depressed and sad, as if they sucked the happiness right out of you? This person may be an “energy vampire,” and may or may not realize that they are completely upending your pursuit of happiness and trapping you in a toxic relationship with them.
These “vampires” may be a loved one, friend, employee, or neighbor. If you want to have a healthy relationship with them, you need to recognize the signs of a toxic relationship so you can protect yourself.
Related: If A Guy Does These 5 Things, He’s Trying To Keep You Trapped In A Toxic Relationship
One of the most important parts of a good story is the supporting cast. When creating your own story, it’s important to fill your world with loving and supportive people and get rid of toxic people.
The first part of this process is determining which ones. You can do this by trusting your inner wisdom and letting it guide you. In Marcy Shimoff’s book Happy for No Reason, she describes it as “your inner GPS.” Everyone has one. You just have to know how to take care of it and recognize happiness.
There is a simple technique where you close your eyes, take a deep breath, and focus on your body.
As you do this, imagine each person in your life, one by one, and feel which ones “expand” your happiness and which ones shrink it. Create a list with a line in the middle of the paper and then put each list into one of these two categories. It is important not to rule with your mind and only trust your body.
Once you’ve done this with each person in your life, you’ll have an idea of who fills you with the love and support you need and who drains you of it: your happiness vampires.
In a fairy tale, the next step would be pretty simple, right? Surround yourself with people who fill your bucket with love and support and release the vampires who drain you. Simple, right? mistake!
What about all your family and friends that you love?
If you’re like me, you probably have people in your life that you love dearly even though it can take weeks to emotionally recover from a family gathering. You may also have co-workers that you have to see regularly, making you want to go home and take a hot shower after spending 8 hours with them. These are just the facts of life sometimes.
Fortunately, you can create any kind of story you want from this collection of facts, because your story produces and directs it. It’s important to remember that you are the one who sets the boundaries in your life.
Fortunately, you can create any kind of story you want from this collection of facts, because your story produces and directs it. It’s important to remember that you are the one who sets the boundaries in your life.
Related: 8 Types Of Toxic Relationships To Cut Out Of Your Life Now
Here are 3 ways to prevent an energy vampire from stealing your happiness and leaving you in a toxic relationship:
- Be a mirror.
I used to love those mirrors at the carnival that show you an altered version of yourself. I was standing in front of him and he reflected to me a completely different image than the one I expected.
Mirrors are like kryptonite for energy vampires.
An Italian neuroscientist named Dr. Rizzolatti discovered nerve cells in your brain called “mirror neurons.” They’re the things that make you yawn, cross your legs, or perform any number of unconscious actions when done by someone else.
By being aware of your responses to others, you can choose what to reflect to someone. If you have to talk to a vampire who is draining you with angry or negative talk, consciously lower your gaze and remain neutral while using body language that is the opposite of the vampire.
- Create an invisible shield.
You can imagine shining a bright light at them or holding a cross in front of them. This will give you a feeling of emotional protection and may help reduce the urge to respond negatively to them.
- Remember the story you are creating.
Don’t try to change the other person. It’s very tempting to point out the “error of their ways,” but that rarely leads to anything other than toxic behavior.
The most effective way to influence others is to model the behavior you want to see in them.
Shower your loved ones with love, give them a starring role in your amazing life story, and prevent energy vampires from siphoning off your happiness with toxic relationships.
Related: 10 Smart Ways To Avoid Toxic, One-Sided Relationships
