Almost everyone has met a narcissist. Maybe he’s the guy who was ahead of you in line because everything he had to do was more important than everyone else – or maybe he’s the guy who always wants to be the center of attention. Maybe this is the woman who constantly belittles everyone to make herself feel superior.
No matter who it is, there seem to be idiots everywhere.
The problem is that we can all be cold-hearted idiots at some point. We display behaviors that say: “I matter and you don’t.”
In past years a lot has been promoted to achieve positive self-esteem within ourselves. Don’t get me wrong – healthy self-esteem is a wonderful thing. However, cold-hearted arrogance borders on narcissism.
How many times have you said to yourself: “I don’t care what they think,” or “I don’t care what they want,” or “I’m right and this is what I want”? Then there is another view being promoted that says: “Because I love myself, I have the right to love myself more.”
An idiot behaving like a narcissist will justify why he is important.
The cold-hearted fool thinks of no one but himself at that moment, but there is a remedy:
1. value the contributions of others.
The first step to recovering from acting like an idiot is realizing that other people are needed and important in your life. Other people make your life easier – the salesperson, the auto mechanic, your co-workers, your family, etc.
No man is an island unto himself.
2. Realize that everyone else has needs too.
The second step to getting over being an asshole is to realize that everyone wants the same things you want: to be loved, respected, accepted, and treated kindly. Realizing that others are not that different from yourself bridges the gap between believing someone is less important than you.
3. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.
Remember that “golden rule” when you were a kid? Remember to ask yourself how you want to be treated…and do that to them.
When you treat others the way you would like to be treated, you instantly change your behavior and become aware of how you treat others in your life. If you ask yourself this question when you interact with others, your next actions will be loving and kind.
Narcissistic behaviors have become common.
The belief that we can love ourselves and that this is enough has caused division and self-obsessed behavior. The “it’s all about me” promotion has caused these narcissistic behaviors. This does not lead to self-love but rather leads to control and obsessive behaviors.
Loving yourself and loving others go hand in hand – and there should be no separation. Either you’re coming from a loving place or you’re not. Stop convulsive narcissistic behavior and move to love in ourselves and with each other.
One thing I’ve learned when confronted by a jerk is to ask, “What’s going on with you, and can I help you?” Dealing with love changes everything.
