A narcissist is usually very charming and highly intelligent, which makes it difficult to detect narcissistic mind games. Narcissists promise you the sun, moon, and stars. They know how to push your buttons in such a way that they “trap you into” their world so that you do what they want.
The moment you stop doing what they want, they get angry. When you choose to leave the relationship, they throw you away and tell everyone they victimized you. Never make the mistake of thinking that you can change a narcissist or help him stop playing the narcissistic mind games unless you are a trained therapist and you have been asked to directly help him treat this mental disorder. Make no mistake, this is a personality and mental disorder, and if necessary, they can get help from a mental health care professional, but only if they want help.
Related: How To Love Fearlessly After Your Heart Was Broken By A Narcissist
#Here are 3 soul-sucking mind games that all narcissistic men play in relationships:
1. Amplify their sense of self-importance.
Here’s the scenario: A woman asks a man if he’d like to take a much-needed vacation with her. The man replies: Do you have any idea what would happen if I quit my job at this time? Narcissists believe that the whole world would fall apart without them, or at least they want you to believe that.
Generally, when they talk, there will be a lot of name-dropping, bragging about what they are going to buy next, or where they went, what they did, with whom, and how much money they spent. They rarely ask questions about you or your life. The entire conversation is usually one-sided and revolves around them and their accomplishments. They tend to come across as arrogant and arrogant. If the waiter doesn’t seat them right away, they’ll get impatient and probably get quite angry – even if the place is very crowded!
2. Lack of any empathy.
Here’s the scenario: A woman tells a man about a college friend who is having a difficult time with a cancer diagnosis. The man replies, “Well, that does him justice. He smoked for ten years before he quit. What did he expect?”
Here, we have no sympathy. However, what makes it worse is belittling a person when they are already frustrated. This is a huge warning sign that you are with a narcissist. Putting others down makes the narcissist feel better about himself. They have a deep sense of inferiority, even though they act superior to everyone around them.
3. Be decisive to hide their low self-esteem.
This is the scenario: A woman who works as a personal trainer lovingly suggests a more effective way to do abdominal exercises because she knows that the man wants a toned body and she knows that he does abdominal exercises in a way that will not give him the results he wants.
The man replies: “What are you talking about? I’m doing it perfectly, and besides, I don’t need to do it at all. I look great for a man my age. Look at you, you could lose.” Some weight for yourself!” Again, here we have someone who, instead of responding in a way that shows concern and gratitude for the help, the narcissist responds in a critical, hurtful, and insulting way. This is typical narcissistic behavior.
#Here are 14 signs that a narcissist is playing mind games with you:
1. You went into a conversation thinking you were right and left feeling you were wrong.
Gaslighting is one of the most manipulative things a narcissist will use against you to make you feel like any issue you raise with him is ultimately your fault.
2. He completely ignores any issue you bring up.
If you try to have a civil conversation about a problem in your relationship with a narcissist, good luck. He will talk to you and manipulate you so much that you may not notice that he is changing the conversation until later when you realize that the issue was never discussed.
3. Your story and his story are never the same.
If you argue about something, nine times out of ten, he won’t be on your side because it’s the same completely different story in his head.
4. He is always the victim.
He always plays the victim when you get into an argument because he wants you to feel bad for him when it’s the other way around. You’re always labeled as a jerk.
5. You get déjà vu when he’s with you.
You constantly get deja vu when you talk to him because narcissists have a pattern in the way they play their games. Over time, you’ll feel like you’re going crazy for going through this with him over and over again. This is especially true if you text him because he’s also good at narcissistic text games, and you’ll be thinking, “Didn’t he already say that?”
6. You start thinking that he is right, and you are the one who is overthinking.
Narcissists are very good at doing this to you. They make you start doubting yourself and make you think you’re crazy because you think everything they did was wrong how could they be wrong?
7. He gets angry very easily.
Whenever you try to confront or have a civil conversation about something you believe the narcissist has done wrong, he or she will get defensive. His temper and anger will rise because you made him notice his mistakes, and as always, he will deny everything you put forward and attack you.
8. He calls you names.
Narcissists are not above anything and are so immature that you bet they will call you names. Their favorite word is crazy, followed by stupid, crazy, or any other word to silence you.
9. He tries to attract others to his side.
He will call up friends and then gaslight the friends to be on his side to make you look like you have no idea what you’re talking about and that you’re not telling the truth or not being fair. As we all know he is a master of manipulation, even with his friends.
10. You’re the one who ends up saying sorry.
No matter how angry and upset you are about something, you are always the one to say sorry. It becomes a pattern.
11. You feel like you are not enough.
If your partner is a narcissist, they will always make you feel like you are not enough and worthless. This should be an obvious and easy sign that your partner should never make you feel bad about yourself.
12. You feel lonely.
Even if you are in a relationship, you will feel completely alone if your partner is a narcissist. Everything will be about them, you will waste a lot of your energy on them and you will feel isolated and empty.
13. You feel guilty because you think badly of him.
You feel terrible even thinking that he did something wrong. This is because it has become a pattern for him to make you feel bad by mentioning things that make you upset with him. Over time, you will do it less, because it makes you feel worse.
14. You immediately regret bringing up a problem.
Many times you have been nervous, your courage to bring up an issue has diminished, and it takes all your energy to do so. When you say something, you immediately regret it because you feel exhausted, and you will learn not to make trouble anymore.
#Why do narcissists use manipulation games?
Although you may be a victim of narcissistic behavior, remember that the narcissist has been a victim as well. They use manipulative games because that is how their minds are wired. Therefore, to change, they need help.
Instead of labeling people, I prefer to say: “Love the person, change their behavior.” However, remember that the person must want to change. If you’re wondering what to do, you have options. Loving your narcissistic partner doesn’t mean sticking around for abuse. You can love a person and still leave. You can love them and help them seek professional advice.
If they choose not to get help, you can (as my grandmother says) “run, not walk” toward a happier future ahead! If they ask for advice, a great professional can help them. In my experience, there is a high probability that a man imprinted narcissism at a very young age from a caregiver. If you or someone you know and love is experiencing symptoms of narcissism, seek professional counseling. Remember that you are a wonderful being of love and light!
Related: Breaking Up With An Abusive Narcissist Isn’t Easy — Even For America
