Some of us are lucky enough to consider our mothers to be one of our biggest cheerleaders, fiercest protectors, and best friends. She’s someone we know we can count on for a shoulder to cry on during life’s toughest moments, a hand to hold on to during our life’s highlights, and just someone we can be comfortable with.
Unfortunately for others, their mothers are their biggest nightmare. Even when they no longer live under their system and become mothers themselves (hopefully much better than they were before), it is still difficult for them to deal with the trauma of their narcissistic and emotionally abusive mothers.
If you grew up with a limitless, inconsiderate mother and are looking for ways to help you process your feelings
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The Toxic Mother Recovery Coach helps those with ruthless mothers deal with their trauma in healthy ways, and helps people recognize important signs that they may have grown up with an “emotionally immature mother” who repeatedly disrespected their boundaries.
I’ve revealed the top 3 signs you grew up with an ’emotionally immature’ mother.
Instead of stating the obvious like “she said bad things to you” or “she didn’t make you feel safe,” Katherine delves into specific reasons why some people believe that growing up with their mother was toxic, and that she was emotional. Abusive and immature.
- You often feel like you are the parent of the relationship.
Whether it’s comforting your mother after you’ve upset her by asserting your boundaries, or reminding her that you need to eat dinner, it can certainly take a toll on your health.
- Your mother is competitive with you.
As a parent, you should be supporting your child on the sidelines, not writing for the spotlight.
- Your mother is jealous of your relationships with others or your achievements.
This goes hand in hand with the previous sign.
In a later video, Katherine delves into this issue and explains possible reasons why your mother may not be able to respect your boundaries.
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“She can’t respect your boundaries because she feels it’s an insult (attack) on her,” Katherine says. “So when she says, ‘Mom, can you stop that, Mom, can we do this differently, No, Mom, I can’t do that today, can we do that today instead?'”, because she’s emotionally immature it seems It feels like a personal attack.
She adds that over time, your personal fears begin to fade away as you focus on your mother’s needs to avoid upsetting her. As a child of the relationship, this is not how it should be.
“Your mother spent her whole life living her own life, making her own decisions, doing her own things, and now if you’re an adult, you have the right to pursue the life you want,” Katherine says. “It’s okay to set boundaries to make room for your mother to come into your life instead of focusing your whole life on her.”
If a mother’s job is supposed to protect and love her children, why do some of them feel the need to compete with them, specifically their daughters?
According to behavioral psychologists, some mothers may feel resentment toward their children for their lack of fulfillment in their lives and may view their children as a threat because of their youth, achievements, and opportunities.
“They grew up in an environment where they had to think well of their mother but never surpassed her,” Dr. Caryl McBride writes in her book Will I Be Good Enough?: Healing Daughters of Narcissistic Mothers. He grew up with emotionally immature and narcissistic mothers. “In the process, they suppressed their own needs and desires in favor of hers.”
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Even as adults, affected people often neglect themselves and have low self-esteem due to their upbringing. Fortunately, there are important steps you can take to begin the emotional healing process.
“The best way is to deal with emotional wounds on a subconscious level,” Catherine addresses in a later video. “One of the best ways to do this is through hypnotherapy, which is what I use with my clients.”
Hypnotherapy is a type of mind-body medicine that allows a person to engage in a state of deep relaxation and focus, with a certified hypnotist guiding you through the process using images, repetition, and verbal cues. It has been said to help people heal healthily and relieve the pain of trauma.
This is due to the fact that most forms of therapy focus on our conscious awareness of the traumas we experience, whereas hypnotherapy allows our bodies to deal with and resolve traumas on a subconscious level.
Meditation is also said to be an effective way to process trauma. Fortunately, Katherine documents and publishes her guided meditations for those who grew up with emotionally immature mothers, giving them space to work through their emotions.
A mother is supposed to be a person in your life who will put aside anything and everything in her power in order to do what is in the best interest of her children, no matter what that may be. She’s supposed to be your support system, your companion, and your caregiver, not someone you fear or resent.
If so, she neglected her duties as a mother.
