It’s one of the inescapable facts of life: relationships end. And seriously, thank God for that. However, there is a tendency for men to stay in relationships, even though they know the situation is not good. Is there a reason why men stay in toxic relationships? Although in rare cases high school sweethearts spend their entire lives together, the vast majority of us cringe when we think about ending up with the person we swore to love forever in our high school yearbook. We grow, develop, and travel through a series of moments of self-discovery and personality changes, eventually finding ourselves with enough clarity and self-awareness to know what kind of companion we need.

I call these “experiential relationships,” and they are an essential starting point in our lives and vital in discovering our love language and needs. But sometimes — and many of us have been guilty of this at some point in our lives — we don’t know when to stop, sincerely thank our partner for everything we’ve learned, and move on. And because science shows that breaking up is much harder for men, the Y chromosomes are the ones most likely to stay in a relationship long after their expiration date. The National Center for Statistics shows that 80% of divorces in the United States are initiated by women! So, what are the reasons why men stay in toxic relationships, and what psychological factors fuel this intense anxiety when getting out? Let’s take a look at three common, research-backed reasons why men find it difficult to stop smoking.

Here are 3 sad reasons why men stay in toxic relationships much longer than women:

They fear they have wasted too much time

Honestly, it’s very frustrating to hear anyone refer to a past relationship as a waste of time. If you can look back on your time together and say you’ve learned one thing about yourself, dating, or just the art of breaking up, then you’re a more evolved, more aware person than before. Never deny the value of reflection after a relationship, no matter how short or long, because every experience shapes the type of partner you want to be. Yes, your bank account may have taken a hit or you may have turned down advances from an attractive co-worker a few months ago, but what you’ve gained and learned about yourself is intangible. We are proud of him.

They think they can fix the relationship

Relationships are sure to hit bumps, but there’s a difference between a “rough patch” and fundamental dissonance that can’t be repaired. Clinging too tightly to something that’s already past will only lead to more resentment and contempt, but research shows that one in six men will stay in a bad relationship for at least six months if things improve. The irony here is that this philosophy will create an endless loop with the previous reason because it is just “wasted time”. A breakup can activate the same part of our brain that causes physical pain, so it’s very easy to get caught up in it. Best thing you can do? Understand that there will be a mental and physical feeling of “loss” (fueled by low dopamine levels), and prepare yourself for a wide range of emotions. We ask God not to be persecuted through social media.

They feel the need to control their emotions

While women traditionally have no problem opening up to their friends and family when they’re facing an emotional crisis, men typically tend to keep topics of conversation light when they’re around their peers. During tough times, they will put on a brave face and perhaps indulge in vices, but a man’s significant other is usually one of the only people in his life that he feels comfortable trusting completely. So when you threaten to take that away, he loses his main friend, and that can be soul-crushing.

So, for guys on the verge of a breakup, instead of binging on cheap tequila and playing video games for a week, confide in a sibling or an old friend. Science is on your side here, as a recent study showed that openly reflecting on a recent breakup with a close friend can serve as a catalyst for the healing process. So grab a friend and a yard and get ready to open up – it’s not as hard as it seems.

Here are 3 sad reasons why men stay in toxic relationships much longer than women:

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