Do you feel that the value of true friendships is being lost in today’s society? I do.
It seems that whatever aspect of current society we address, it is built on inauthenticity and superficiality.
Corrupt politicians pretend to care about the well-being of the population. Superficial influencers become role models today by talking bullshit and fooling themselves. Narcissistic celebrities use charities as marketing tools to promote themselves and attract more attention.
I think it’s always been this way, but today we see this perpetual fakery in all its glory thanks to social media. Consumerism also plays a crucial role in this. It has distorted our perception of life in many ways.
So let’s talk about the reasons why true friendships are more rare in our society.
- Treating each other as objects is normal
The consumer mindset does not influence our perception of things alone. It’s not just about the abundance of goods on the market and the countless options to choose from.
This consumer attitude has become so ingrained in our minds that we also regard each other as objects of consumption. This could explain why many people today view friendships and relationships from a “give and take” perspective.
“I’m looking for someone…”, “I need a friend…”, “My future husband should be…”, “I want my partner to…”
For some people, relationship and friendship expectations seem like a long shopping list of “I want” and “I need.” But what about “I am willing to…” and “I am willing to…”? Few are those who are also willing to do something for others. Many seem to know just what to expect and require.
It seems to have become normal to care about the rewards and benefits of being friends with someone rather than having a meaningful connection with someone else. What kind of friendship can emerge from this mindset? One is just fake and shallow.
- Being nice is more important than being real
Wanting to be liked and accepted is very natural, but social media has taken it to a new level. It has ceased to be just a natural human need and has turned into an addiction.
What can we see on Facebook or Instagram? Endless files filled with perfect faces that don’t exist, beautiful fake feelings, and affectionate words that are not intended.
This desire to appear perfect has crept into our personal lives as well. It seems that the most important thing in personal relationships is to seem like a nice person. Not to be one, but to look like one.
Smile at people (even if you secretly hate them), have a friendly chat (even if you don’t care about the person you’re talking to), and say nice things (even if you don’t mean them).
Straightforward people who are not afraid to speak the truth and call a spade a spade are derided as intolerant and insensitive. We are all expected to sugarcoat our words. But there’s a big difference between being really nice and just pretending to be nice.
- Constant, meaningful connections with others are no longer valuable
Not only does consumer society subtly lead us to take advantage of others, but it also does not teach us to value them.
70 years ago, if your refrigerator suddenly broke down, the first thing you thought of would be to fix it. Today, you’ll probably go out and buy yourself a new one.
But what does buying a new refrigerator have to do with friendships? More than it seems.
We may not even realize it, but this view of things has a greater influence on our perception than we can imagine. This approach plants the idea in our subconscious minds that things and people should not be valued because they can be easily replaced.
Because we are so accustomed to abundance, we live in the illusion that if things go wrong, we can always have something new for ourselves. New friend, new partner, new soul mate.
But the problem is that human relationships don’t work that way. Sometimes you need to work through the problem and “fix” your relationship or friendship instead of stopping and moving on to the next one.
