There’s nothing worse than interacting with a conversational narcissist, someone who likes to make everything about themselves and has no interest in listening to the events of your life.
Their way of socializing could be a result of their arrogant nature, or they may be trying to manipulate you, or they simply don’t care much about what you have to say.
Trying to end this toxic conversation can be just as difficult as playing double Dutch and finding the perfect place to have a smooth exit. But once you realize that the conversation has come to an end and there is nothing left to gain, there are ways to leave the interaction respectfully.
How to deal with people who dominate conversations
TikToker and attorney Jefferson Fisher shared three ways he’s found to deal with people who take over the conversation.
“When a person starts dominating or monopolizing the conversation,” he begins, “it’s no longer a conversation, it’s a monologue, and I didn’t buy a ticket to hear it.” He then goes on to offer some good advice for ending those awkward conversations.
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- Boycott them.
The first way Fisher offers viewers to get out of conversations with people who are trying to verbally dominate is to simply interrupt them.
“This is one of the few exceptions where interruptions are necessary, because if they don’t value your time, it’s your job to protect it,” according to Fisher.
If you choose to approach him this way, you are just using his name to get his attention and you don’t even have to wait for a break in the conversation. Start by saying the name in a low voice and move to a higher volume until you get their attention, causing them to pause.
- Filter and scroll.
Once you have successfully stopped them from talking, you will “filter and pass.” This means that you are repeating what they told you back. This tells them that they have heard and understood.
From there, you can ask someone else’s opinion, give them a chance to speak, and ask Mr. or Mrs. Motormouth to shut up. Alternatively, you can provide your opinion to close the loop on the topic being discussed.
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- Set a time limit.
If you’ve done all that and they still insist on controlling the conversation, give them a time limit.
In Fisher’s example, he says, “Hey, David. I’ve got about two minutes and then I’ve got to bounce and get rid of some stuff.”
No matter how much time you allocate, you must stand your ground and leave when the time is up because you have already set that expectation.
There are many reasons why a person might take over the conversation. Most are social and include things like “feeling important” or “branding” oneself through standing out.
Conversations should be a time of give and take as stories, thoughts, and good feelings are passed back and forth.
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