Never underestimate the power of a narcissistic partner’s breakup maneuvers.
The narcissist’s endgame tactics are varied. If he still sees value in the relationship, he may try to win you back so he can resume his control and abuse of you.
He may suddenly become a nice person and “promise to change,” stop drinking, or enter a treatment or abusive program. It may suddenly take care of the things you’ve been complaining about. He may tell you, “You’d be lost without him,” or, “No one wants to be with you.”
But if he thinks you’re leaving him for good, or he thinks you’re dating someone else or he’s done with you, you may be in the “fight of your life.”
Be prepared for any of the following narcissistic behaviors if you think your relationship is ending with a narcissistic man.
Related: What It Means To Love A Narcissist — 3 Ways They Hurt You & 5 Ways To Get Your Self-Esteem Back
#Here are 3 infuriating things to expect when breaking up with a narcissist:
1. He finds another “buddy” in bed
A narcissistic man may have one more relationship before he dumps you, and when that happens, his behavior can change dramatically and overnight. He can become very unpredictable, withdrawn, hostile, and unfeeling, and abandonment can happen quickly and without warning.
When he decides he wants to be with his new romantic interest, he may do horrible things to get rid of you. When he abandons you, there will be no apology or expression of remorse, because the narcissist does not feel guilt, shame, or remorse for his shameful actions.
Related: What Being In A Relationship With A Narcissist Really Does To A Person
2. He does things to escape you
When a narcissistic man believes he can no longer control you or is done with you, he can become destructive and dangerous.
He will use minor problems to prepare you for severe verbal or physical abuse, and his increasing anger seems to come out of nowhere and for no apparent reason. He will say and do new and evil deeds against you.
He will set you up for elaborate brawls to punish, intimidate, and make you angry so he can justify abusing and abandoning you, while the narcissist derives satisfaction from the drama and pain he creates.
Unbeknownst to me, my fiancé (who lives 100 miles away) was dating another woman. He came into town and took me to dinner; I thought it was like any other date night. Instead, he started the worst fight of our relationship at the restaurant and then physically assaulted me when we returned to my house.
It was the death blow to our relationship. I found out the next week that his new punk was already living with him.
Related: The SCARY 6-Step Process A Narcissist Uses To Confuse And Control You
3. His verbal attacks escalated into physical abuse
The endgame for a narcissistic man can be treacherous and frightening. He may throw things and hit things near you to terrorize you into submission and may destroy your valuables to punish you.
He may threaten to harm your children, pets, or a loved one. He may make false accusations against you, report you to child services, or threaten to take the children away from you. He may use his physical size to intimidate you, for example, by standing in the doorway and blocking your exit during an argument.
He may say things like, “I’ll break your neck,” and then brush off his threats by saying he didn’t mean it. He may threaten you with physical harm, stalk you, or show up at your work or home unannounced looking to pick a fight.
When a woman I know broke up with her jealous and verbally abusive boyfriend, he stole her favorite clothes, jewelry, and perfume so she wouldn’t “look good with another guy.” He terrorized her with endless phone calls and text messages.
He showed up at her apartment drunk late at night, banging on her patio door and windows demanding she let him into her apartment and when she called the police, he pressed against the side of her car.
