How do you know if you are dating or in a relationship with someone with narcissistic personality disorder?

There are some key traits that will let you know if a man is a narcissist.

You’ve met someone amazing, and sparks are flying.

He’s handsome, charming, funny, and showers you with attention – but something seems a little off.

He may be overly sensitive to criticism or talk about himself too much.

Or maybe you notice that he doesn’t always listen to you, and interrupts you often.

Alarm bells start to go off, but you can’t help but wonder: Are you being too harsh?

After all, aren’t we all selfish when it comes to this?

The answer, of course, is yes; We’re all selfish – to some extent.

There’s a difference between being preoccupied with your own fears and getting overly involved with yourself every now and then, and being a complete narcissist.

What is a narcissist?

Narcissistic personality disorder, or NPD, is defined by the Mayo Clinic as a disorder in which “people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for admiration, and a lack of empathy for others.”

However, beneath this flashy exterior, narcissists have low self-esteem and crumble at even the slightest whisper of criticism.

A relationship with a narcissist may start with butterflies and fireworks; They are often very beautiful, charismatic, charming, and love to sweep you off your feet.

But don’t be fooled: it’s not about you. It’s about them.

They love the feeling of making someone fall in love with them.

Knowing that you’re thinking about them, eagerly anticipating all their messages, and counting the hours until your next appointment, feeds their restless ego for a little while – until they tire of you and move on to the next conquest.

There are a lot of different brands of bad guys.

But if you’re wondering if the person you’re dating might be a narcissist, here are some red flags that could mean they have narcissistic personality disorder…

Related: To My Narcissistic Psychopathic Mother, I Am “The Face That Understands Her”

3 Easy Ways to Tell You’re Dating a Man with Narcissistic Personality Disorder

1. He has little respect for rules or boundaries
   Part of what can make spending time with narcissists enjoyable is their disinterest in following rules, and their willingness to cross boundaries.

Professor Preston Nee, who teaches communication studies and coaches people in interpersonal relationships, wrote in Psychology Today that narcissists enjoy “getting away with violating social rules and norms.”

This can manifest itself in different ways: petty theft, breaking appointments, and disobeying traffic laws.

So, while it may seem cute that he swiped a pen from the restaurant where you had your first date, and then gave it to you as a souvenir (this is a real thing that actually happened to a friend of mine), it’s not as harmless as it may seem.

It is also difficult to enforce boundaries with a narcissist.

It can be a really good thing for a guy to focus his attention on you, laser beam style, and ask you a million inquisitive questions about your past, your personal life, and everything else under the sun.

Wow, he really cares about the details of my life, you think.

But the narcissist just wants to push your boundaries in order to break you down and feel controlled.

First, he gets all worked up about your business, then he borrows money and breaks promises – and uses his intimate knowledge of you to make you doubt, doubt, and blame yourself.

Professor Nee says the narcissist “overtakes others and uses them without consideration or sensitivity,” and then “shows little remorse and blames the victim.”

2. It’s all about appearances
   Like Narcissus in Greek mythology, who fell in love with his own beauty, after whom NPD is named, the narcissist cannot be enough of himself.

He may not look at his reflection until it fades and dies, like Narcissus, but he will put in a lot of energy to amaze you – and everyone around him – with how amazing he is.

Professor Nee calls this the “Grail Complex” and says it can manifest in many ways, including “physically, romantically, sexually, socially, religiously, financially, materially, professionally, academically, or culturally.” “.

So maybe your man doesn’t focus on his looks but instead brags about how much money he makes, or how great he is in bed, or how spiritually superior he is.

It can be anything that represents an achievement, a status, or something that represents one’s self-worth.

“The basic message of this type of presentation is: ‘I am better than you!’ or ‘Look how special I am – I deserve everyone’s love, admiration and acceptance!’” says Professor Ni.

Related: 4 Unusual-But-Scary Narcissistic Traits That Often Go Unnoticed

3. He makes you the center of his world, then disappears
   It’s a great feeling when someone puts you on a pedestal and makes you feel like the most beautiful, funniest, most amazing woman on the face of the earth.

But beware: The narcissist is often out the door as quickly as he or she appeared on the scene.

He may boost your self-esteem (in the process boosting your self-confidence), but when he leaves, you’ll crumble — and it won’t be worth the initial high.

The thing to remember about narcissists is that it is never about you.

They make you the best and the most beautiful because they want to feel that they are good enough to have the best and the most beautiful; They have a pathological need to calm their fragile ego.

This doesn’t mean you’re not beautiful, charming, smart, funny, and everything else — but you have to remember that in a healthy relationship, your partner sees you for who you are, not who they want you to be.

They see your flaws, acknowledge them, and even embrace them.

If you’re dating someone whose endless compliments and compliments make you feel uncomfortable because there’s something not real about them, pay attention.

And don’t be surprised when he withdraws his excess affection just as arrogantly as he lavished it in the first place.

In the end, it doesn’t really matter whether the person you’re dating is a complete narcissist, has a diagnosable case of narcissistic personality disorder, or not.

If you’re wondering, just stop and examine your relationship closely.

Because being a little self-centered every now and then is normal — but if someone is constantly making you feel uncomfortable, you need to listen to your intuition, and practice a little self-preservation.

Related: Induced Conversation: A Narcissist’s Most Powerful Weapon