A narcissistic crisis is an intense emotional reaction to anticipated or experienced humiliation and failure.

The covert narcissist has two basic needs:

Narcissistic offer
Maintaining their ideal self and false reality
Narcissists’ grandiosity – expressed through their false ideal personality – protects them from their fragile self-esteem, lack of self-worth, and intense shame.

For covert narcissists, their greatness is hidden to the naked eye but is evident in their need for attention, validation, admiration and sympathy.

The presence of someone or something that threatens the narcissist’s image and false reality leads to narcissistic collapse.

Triggers may be mild or extreme.

Here are 14 triggers for a narcissistic breakdown:

1. Do not respond to text messages or voicemails immediately
2. Saying “no”
3. End the conversation
4. Set firm boundaries
5. Correct it
6. Provide constructive feedback
7. Desire to improve the relationship
8. A child responds
9. The adult child does not take their advice
10. Job insecurity or dismissal from work
11. Being passed over for a promotion or job
12. Not getting the expected bonus
13. Receiving divorce papers
14. Being cheated
    The trigger causes the narcissist’s self-defense mechanisms to collapse.

Their ideal self, their false self or personality, is no longer healthy and secure. Their house of cards is in danger of collapsing or has collapsed.

The trigger initially causes a narcissistic injury. Followed by narcissistic rage.

When the covert narcissist cannot hide his anger, and cannot maintain his personality despite injury, he suffers a narcissistic breakdown.

Related: The “Grey Rock Technique” — A Brilliant (But Risky) Way To Deal With A Narcissist

Here are the two forms a narcissistic breakdown may take:

1. Covert narcissistic withdrawal
   Procrastination
   Ending the conversation abruptly followed by the silent treatment or ghosting
   Depression – manifests itself as apathy and withdrawal from society
   Extreme anxiety
   Threatening self-harm
   Drug use, drinking, reckless driving – anything to distract them from the truth
2. Covert vindictive narcissistic behavior
   Extreme irritability
   Scrimmage
   Mind manipulation
   Verbal/physical violence
   Heavy bombing

They repeatedly accuse you of hurting them
temper tantrums
Aggressive smear campaigns
revenge
As always, covert narcissists are different.

Covert narcissists are more likely to lash out aggressively during a narcissistic meltdown than their overt counterparts.

Perhaps this is because much of their narcissistic stock comes from their flying monkeys. The risk of being forged or defrauded when the whole world can see behind the mask is too much to bear.

The covert narcissist attempts to regain control by projecting his or her self-loathing and self-loathing onto someone else.