Okay, so you have this amazing group of friends, right? You share memes, you sip coffee, and you laugh until your abs hurt. But lately, something’s not quite right. It’s like there’s a shadow hanging over your friend group, and you can’t quite place it. Oh, wait—maybe you can. Enter: the narcissist.

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If you’ve ever had a narcissist creeping into your friend group, you know that drama can be contagious. They don’t just play with your emotions—they’ll slowly start to erode your friendships, too. One minute, everyone’s stressed out, and the next, you’re feeling isolated, confused, and questioning your own reality.

Well, it’s time to break this down. Narcissists are sneaky like that. They’ll manipulate, deceive, and play dirty to turn your friends against you. Here’s how to spot who’s pulling the strings behind the scenes, plus how to protect yourself—and your friendships—from emotional wreckage.

1. They Play the “Poor Me” Card in Front of Your Friends

Narcissists know exactly how to position themselves as the victim, even when they’re the bad guy. They’ll tell your friends, “Oh, I was really hurt by [your name].” Spoiler: They’re great at spinning a sob story, even if they’re the ones causing the drama. How to Stop Them: Confront them with the facts. The truth always wins.

2. They Start Whispering About You Behind Your Back

Narcissists love secret conversations, especially when they can twist your actions into something they’re not. “Have you noticed how [your name] always wants attention?” they whisper. Don’t sit there fuming—get ahead of the rumor mill. Address it head-on with your friends.

3. They Turn Every Little Thing You Do Into a “Problem”

Have you noticed how a narcissist can take the smallest mistake or casual comment and turn it into the biggest betrayal? They’ll twist the innocent things you say into “evidence” of your supposed flaws. How to stop it: Challenge their distorted view and keep reminding yourself that no one is perfect, especially them.

4. They start isolating you from the group with subtle comments

At first, it’s a joke. “Oh, you don’t want to hang out with us anymore, do you?” But soon it turns into a pattern of comments that slowly isolate you from your circle. Narcissists work like slow-motion wrecking balls. How to stop it: Fight isolation. Plan group get-togethers and keep your connections with others strong. Don’t let them make you feel like an outcast.

5. They Flirt With Friends to Get Their Approval

Narcissists know how to flirt with your friends with excessive compliments—“You’re the only one who really gets me!” The goal? To make them wonder why they’re still friends with you. How to stop it: Remind your friends that flattery doesn’t equal friendship. Real relationships are about honesty, not manipulation.

6. They Fool You About Shared Experiences

Narcissists love to twist reality, especially when it comes to group situations. They’ll tell your friends, “Oh, I don’t remember it that way. [Your Name] started it.” It’s like a live-action version of Telephone. How to Stop It: Keep a log of key conversations or events, so when they try to rewrite history, you have the receipts.

7. They Claim You’re “Too Sensitive” When You Attack Them

Have you ever tried to confront a narcissist about their behavior, only to have them brush you off and say, “You’re too sensitive”? It’s their way of avoiding accountability. How to Stop It: Stand Up for Yourself. Explain that you’re not sensitive—you’re tired of being manipulated.

8. They put you in “competition” with your friends

If you notice a narcissist turning your friends into rivals, you’re not imagining things. They want to pit you against others for their own amusement. How to stop it: Don’t bite. Strengthen your friendships with genuine support, not petty competition.

9. They pretend to “save” you from your friends’ shortcomings

Narcissists love to put themselves in the position of “savior” when in reality, they’re the ones causing all the trouble. “Don’t listen to [your name], they don’t understand you the way I do.” How to stop it: If they start playing the hero, remind your friends of the good times you’ve shared and how they were there for them, too.

10. They overreact to minor “injustices”

Narcissists don’t just get upset, they explode over things that most of us would simply ignore. You didn’t like their posts? The end of the world. How to stop it: Don’t give in to their theatrics. Acknowledge their feelings but don’t let them drag you into their melodrama.

11. They Play the “Best Friend” Role for Others

Narcissists thrive on being the center of attention, and that includes your friends. They may try to get close to your best friends to build a following. How to stop it: Be assertive and remind your friend of the trust and bond you share.

Related : 30 Shocking (and Seriously Sneaky) Characteristics of a Covert Narcissist – The Most Dangerous Kind

12. They Use Your Secrets Against You

Narcissists are experts at gathering information and using it against you when you least expect it. That embarrassing story you shared with them? Suddenly, that’s their favorite thing to talk about. How to Stop It: Keep your secrets to yourself. Narcissists can only use what you give them.

13. They Plant Doubts About Your Friends

They won’t just target you, they’ll start whispering doubts about your other friends, too. “Do you think [friend’s name] has been acting weird lately?” Narcissists love to create division. How to Stop It: Remind yourself and your friends that trust is key. Stand together to keep the peace.

14. They Claim Your Friends Are “Jealous” of You

Narcissists love to play the “everyone is jealous of me” card. If they see you getting a little extra attention, they’ll accuse your friends of being jealous. How to Stop It: Call them out on their baseless claims. Remind them that friendship isn’t a competition, it’s a support system.

15. They Dismiss Your Feelings as “Drama”

If you express your feelings about a situation involving them, they’ll immediately dismiss you as dramatic or over-the-top. This tactic invalidates your experiences and makes you feel crazy. How to Stop It: Stand your ground and trust that your feelings are valid. No one can define them except you.

16. They ignore boundaries and call you “difficult”

Narcissists will push your boundaries and then make you feel guilty for trying to maintain them. “Why are you being so difficult? We’re friends, right?” How to stop it: Firmly enforce your boundaries. The right people will respect them. Narcissists? Well, they’ll find another target.

17. They turn your strengths into weaknesses

Narcissists won’t acknowledge your strengths—they’ll turn them into weaknesses to keep you in a state of self-doubt. “Oh, you think you’re so smart? You’re just showing off.” How to stop it: Don’t let them define you. Own your strengths and remind yourself of the amazing qualities that make you, you.

18. They don’t acknowledge your accomplishments (but take credit for their own)

Did you get a new promotion? Did you run a marathon? Don’t expect a narcissist to congratulate you. They won’t acknowledge your accomplishments, but if it’s their turn in the spotlight, be prepared to put on a full show. How to stop it: Celebrate your victories with people who truly appreciate you.

19. They Manipulate Group Chats to Their Advantage

Did you know that group chat where all your friends are supposed to be laughing and supporting each other? Narcissists love to turn that into a personal platform for manipulation. How to Stop It: Keep the conversation focused on fun and positivity. And if they keep steering it aside? Kick them out of the chat.

20. They Play the “I’m the Only One Who Gets You” Card

When narcissists feel like they’re losing their grip on you, they’ll play the “I’m the Only One Who Gets You” card. Don’t fall for that. They’re just isolating you to control you. How to Stop It: Remind yourself that real friends understand you, too—and they don’t need to manipulate you into thinking otherwise.

21. They Ignore Your Concerns About Their Behavior

If you confront a narcissist about how they’re negatively impacting your friendships, they’ll laugh it off or act like you’re the one with the problem. How to Stop It: Be clear and direct. Set your boundaries without letting them make you question your reality.

22. They Always Turn Things Up

When you catch a narcissist doing something shady, they will always find a way to turn things upside down and make you feel guilty. “You caused all this.” How to stop it: Don’t fall for the blame game. Keep the focus on their actions, not their excuses.

23. They Use Emotional Blackmail

Narcissists thrive on forcing you to do what they want. “If you were a really good friend, you would do this for me.” Don’t fall for it. How to stop it: Recognize emotional blackmail for what it is—manipulation. Real friends don’t use guilt to get their way.

24. They Make You Question Your Instincts

A narcissist will try to make you question your own judgment. “Are you sure this is what happened?” Trust your gut. You know when something feels off. How to stop it: Trust yourself. Your instincts are sharper than you think.

25. They deceive your entire group of friends

Sometimes, a narcissist doesn’t stop at just one person—they deceive the entire group. Suddenly, everyone feels confused, divided, and questioning their own reality. How to stop it: Stay united. Narcissists thrive on division, but they can’t break strong, authentic connections.

Protect Your Circle, Protect Yourself

Narcissists are great at manipulation, but they don’t compete with true friendship. Keep your circle strong, set clear boundaries, and don’t let anyone take advantage of you in the friendships you value most. Remember, true friends build each other up, not tear each other down.