In this post, I will show exactly how to spot the signs your boyfriend doesn’t respect you.
In fact, this list is the exact process I used to filter out the people in my life who didn’t respect me.
So if you want to know if your boyfriend disrespects you and also learn what you can do about it, you will find exactly what you need in this post.
Let’s dive into it.
1) They are jealous of you and your successes
When something good happens to us, the first thing we tend to do is call our friends and loved ones to share the happy news.
But if your boyfriend isn’t really happy to hear about your accomplishments, no matter how small or big, that’s a sign that he doesn’t have your best interests at heart.
Instead of partying with you, you’ll feel like they’re acting withdrawn or even commenting negatively on the good news—two very clear signs that they don’t respect you.
2) The friendship is very one-sided
Do you ever feel like you’re doing everything to keep the friendship going?
Maybe you go out of your way all the time for your friend but they don’t do the same in return?
I used to give my (ex) boyfriend a lift home all the time, and I agreed to meet wherever he wanted, and I would always help him if he had a problem.
But I remember several times asking for a favor in return, or a lift when my car broke down, and he was never at all helpful.
It was the ultimate sign of disrespect, not to mention selfishness. I wish you had recognized these signs sooner, but it’s never too late to find out who your true friends are.
3) They don’t have your back
A true friend will stand up for you even when you are not around.
But a friend who doesn’t respect you won’t care enough to stand up for you — they might even get involved in all the gossip and backbiting.
A sign that this is your boyfriend is that he is always creating drama and telling you what other people say about you behind your back.
Why?
Because if they have your back – no one else will gossip about you with them.
Just because they cheer or participate in it, they seem to know everything people say about you.
4) They never apologize or acknowledge their behavior
The fact that you are reading this article suggests that there is something about your friendship – maybe your boyfriend has abused you a few times now and you are wondering if that is normal?
Well, the good news is that there will be difficult or painful times even in the best of friendships…
But most people apologize for their mistakes and work hard to rebuild trust again.
The bad news is that if your boyfriend never apologizes for the way he treated you or hurt you – whether it was on purpose or not – then he definitely doesn’t respect you or your feelings.
5) They don’t respect your boundaries
Boundaries are essential in every relationship – with family, friends, and partners.
Your boundaries are your values, they tell the people around you what you care about, what you are willing to put up with, and what is not right for you.
Without them, people would walk all over the place and take advantage of your time and energy.
For example, you make it clear that punctuality is important to you.
However, every time you meet them, they are ridiculously late and never bother to apologize or change the habit to respect you.
If you constantly cross these lines and refuse to acknowledge your feelings, you will know that your friend has little respect for you.
And they might even go so far as to blame you by saying that you’re acting “difficult” just because you’re trying to stick to what’s best for you.
6) They are dishonest
What is the most important part of any relationship?
trust.
Without it, how can you rely on your friend, trust him with your business, and know he’ll never try to deceive you?
Although trust is not black and white and there may be times when good friends make mistakes – a friend who is always dishonest with you is not a true friend.
By repeatedly abusing your trust in them by lying to you, it shows that they feel no remorse for being deceived and that they don’t respect your right to know the truth.
7) They can’t keep their promises
And the flip side of not being trustworthy is if your friend can’t keep their word.
Whenever you decide to meet, they will never be on the date.
When you make plans, they will bail you out at the last minute or even worse – leave you waiting without contacting you.
Whatever the situation, a friend who can’t keep their promises is a major sign that they don’t respect you (or your time).
8) They put you ahead of others
Does your friend embarrass you in front of others?
Do they make fun of you just to get other people’s attention?
If this is the case, then your friend is simply using you to look good (although he may be achieving the opposite by being mean in public).
It’s their way of hiding their fears.
It is cruel in every sense of the word.
Any friend who does this is not worthy of your friendship – they are using you with little thought to how you feel when they underestimate or embarrass you.
9) They push you to make bad choices
Well, we all have that one friend who always ends up getting us into trouble.
For better or worse, we end up having a crazy time with them but we know that they are such a good friend because they still have your best interests at heart and it’s harmless fun.
But what happens when your friend pushes you to make intentionally bad decisions that could have serious consequences for your life?
They know they’re preparing you for disaster, but they seem to be getting out of it.
They will guide you into making bad decisions, encourage you to engage in destructive habits, and then easily disappear when you need their help.
This type of friend definitely disrespects you, even if it is under the pretense of “just having fun”.
10) They never prioritize you in their lives
And the fact that they don’t care about your well-being will be obvious because you will be at the very bottom of their priority list.
Even though they expect you to give it all up for them, when you want to meet them or need a favor, they have better things to do.
By not putting you first, they are giving you a clear signal that they don’t respect you, and they aren’t even trying to hide that they don’t care about you.
11) They are always trying to control you
A controlling friend is not a true friend.
the worst:
Using control over someone is a form of manipulation, and it’s disrespectful to you because they basically want to take over your freedom of choice, your opinions, and your desires.
Control comes from low self-esteem, and by always letting loose, it’s your friend’s way of feeling superior to you.
Forget justice or consideration for your wishes, they will always find a way to take charge and decide what you guys do when you meet.
Getting out of a manipulative and controlling friendship can be hard, but it’s much worse to stay that way because over time, your self-esteem and confidence will suffer.
12) They don’t notice when you have a problem
Do you ever feel like your friend disconnects when you talk to him?
Or they interrupt you and start telling you their latest life update?
This is probably one of the most annoying things a person can do when you reach out to them for help or advice, and all they can do is talk about themselves.
After a while, you end up sitting there wondering why you even bothered to try in the first place. Obviously, whatever they have to say is more important.
If this is the case with your boyfriend, then there is no doubt that he lacks respect for you – they are simply taking advantage of you to get out of their troubles and nag.
13) They see you as a competition
Friends are supposed to encourage each other and support each other’s dreams.
When one friend succeeds, the other should feel happy for them and celebrate their hard work.
But if your boyfriend sees you as a competitor, he will probably discourage you from aiming high in life.
The sad truth is:
They will want to see you fail.
Anytime you succeed, be it in your love life or at work, they will see it as their own personal blow and will put a lot of negativity on your happiness.
So whether you finally go on that first date, or get a promotion at work, they will always find a way to somehow top it off and try to obscure your successes.
14) They are intentionally insensitive to you
If your boyfriend is totally mean to you and has no regrets about it – it’s time to seriously re-evaluate your friendship.
Not only is it disrespectful of your feelings, but it shows a complete and downright lack of kindness or concern on their part.
And the worst thing is:
Even if they act like they didn’t mean to hurt your feelings, they can really get away with it just once.
After that, it’s a deliberate act and they clearly don’t intend to change their ways.
15) You feel mentally drained by their negativity
This last sign is one of the wildest of all.
The impact of a disrespectful friend on your mental health.
Let’s be honest, there’s nothing worse than trying to make a friendship work with someone who doesn’t give us anything in return – it’s soul-crushing and painful.
On the one hand, you care about them, but on the other hand, you feel used and taken advantage of, and deep down you know it’s not a good friendship.
And while you’re fighting this inner battle, your disrespectful boyfriend keeps piling his crap on you too, using you as an emotional punching bag and never offering any support in return.
16) You always do what they want you to do
It’s not always a bad thing to have someone else in the lead. Some of us can’t be bothered deciding which coffee shop to meet for coffee.
But it’s a sign of disrespect if your boyfriend is making decisions all the time and won’t listen to any input from you.
Friendships are a two-way street.
If your friend doesn’t listen to your requests and you always have to go along with what he wants, then this is a one-sided friendship.
See, it’s fine to go with the flow and do the things they want to do, but refusing to listen to you when you want to express yourself is a clear sign of disrespect.
17) They don’t care about your feelings
You might tell them that you’re sad or angry, and while your friend might ask you why, he’s not really listening for your response.
Because they really don’t care.
They think your feelings are not worth it. Either you are being too dramatic or the problems in your life are minor compared to theirs.
Friends are meant to be there for each other. They will care about your feelings if they really care about you.
It is possible that they will think they are your boss if they ignore your feelings instead of being your equal.
18) They are trying to bring you down
Narcissist alert!
If your friend goes out of her way to hurt you or make you feel bad, then this is a friend you don’t want in your life.
It is also possible that your friend is a narcissist as well. Narcissistic people are selfish and only seek personal gain. They put you down to elevate themselves.
Not only does your boyfriend ignore your feelings if he intentionally puts you down, but he also uses you as a tool to feel good about himself.
True friendship is about taking care of each other and supporting each other.
It’s clear that your boyfriend doesn’t respect you if he puts you down.
19) They put you in public
This is worse than being disappointed when you are them.
But if they make you feel inferior in front of others, they are clearly doing it to make themselves look better.
This could be disapproving of your opinions, rolling their eyes when you say something, or making fun of you to make others laugh.
They might apologize to you even after you’re all alone together (as if that makes it okay!).
This is a clear sign of manipulation to make themselves look better in front of others.
If your boyfriend makes you feel a little less in front of others, then he clearly doesn’t respect you.
After all, friends should talk to each other in front of others!
20) They never follow through on their word
“Yes, I will be there!”
“Let’s meet Sunday at 12 noon!”
And then they never show up…
We’ve all done something like this before, but it’s a very rare occurrence.
But if your boyfriend constantly stands up to you or cancels at the last minute, then he’s not a good friend.
They don’t respect you enough to back up their words with their actions.
They don’t respect your time.
And they probably don’t care about losing you as a friend either.
21) They criticize your choices in life
Whether it’s your job, your partner, or your hobby, a disrespectful friend is someone who is always negative about whatever you do.
If you’re training for a marathon, they’ll comment on how too much running makes you look frail and skinny.
If you recently got a new job, they will brush it off because it’s not as high a standard as theirs.
Or if you get a promotion at work, they’ll make fun of you because you’ll be more stressed and have less time to hang out.
Sure, it’s important to offer advice when they think you’re doing something wrong, but if they don’t even try to be constructive to help you, they’re not going to be a supportive friend.
Friends aim to support each other through life’s ups and downs.
Friends want the best for each other.
Friends don’t take their life choices lightly because it makes them feel good.
This is toxic behavior 101.
Friendship is meant to improve your life, not make it worse.
22) They talk about you behind your back
If you are part of a friendship group, you may have noticed recently that your friend has been talking negatively about you behind your back.
You told them something in secret, and then all of a sudden everyone knows it.
What’s more, they painted what you said to them in a more negative light.
Not only is your boyfriend toxic if he talks about you behind your back, but they don’t respect you either.
This is especially the case if you find out they are dealing with you behind your back.
If they were to do so, they would clearly reveal their true colors…
23) They don’t support you
Lack of support comes in many forms but it all boils down to disrespect.
When your friend is not giving you support and is never there when you need them, is that person really your friend?
Here are some of the ways a disrespectful boyfriend uses it:
Your job is a little weird or maybe your dreams are just ridiculous. Is your friend making fun of you?
If so, they are being disrespectful. Your boyfriend should be supportive of your endeavors, especially if your career is something you’re passionate about.
Sometimes, you get into arguments with other people.
Does your friend take your side? It’s okay if they don’t sometimes because they also think you’re wrong.
But if they say they don’t want to be involved or take sides, that’s a red flag.
If they never stand by you, they don’t respect you.
You have accomplished something and feel proud. Does your friend acknowledge your accomplishments?
If instead they make you doubt your potential, it’s time to rethink the friendship.
You are going through a hard time struggling with something.
Is your friend sticking to you?
It’s a bad sign if you reach out to your friend and they don’t give you the support you need.
24) Lying or gaslighting
Lying is disrespectful and destructive behavior that has no place in any friendship.
Someone who constantly lies to their friend doesn’t care about the impact their actions will have on the other person’s life. They only think about how it affects them.
Sure, you may sometimes consider their lies to be “petty,” so does that really matter?
But in fact, it is the smallest, seemingly insignificant lies that destroy trust.
If your friend can’t be honest with you about small matters, why would you trust him with more important concerns? Who knows what they are able to hide from you?
The problem is that most people tend to sweep the lie under the rug, which is as indefensible as it gets. They excuse mistakes of omission and even outright lies.
In the worst case scenario, these people may also be victims of gaslighting.
Gaslighting is a form of psychological manipulation where one person intentionally plants seeds of doubt in another, in order to make them question their perceptions, memories, or judgment.
Gaslighting victims end up anxious, confused, and unable to trust themselves.
In a truly healthy and respectful friendship, both parties must remain completely honest with each other.
25) Needing to be right all the time
It’s hard to deal with a friend who can’t apologize and admit they’re wrong.
You will never be allowed to win in an argument, and they will never accept constructive criticism from you.
And don’t expect them to say sorry for their mistakes, either; They will end up making some excuses about how it is your fault, actually.
They know they are wrong. Their ego, pride and self-esteem simply won’t allow them to bow down.
